Page 55 of All Because I Found You

She had no idea what the future looked like, but that didn’t matter. Not when Ryder’s mouth was on hers, his hands on her body, and the world was slipping away.

Chapter 18

Raelyn cuddled into his chest, and he held her tighter, savoring her soft curves pressed against him. He had thought he’d failed her today, yet she was here, in his bed, running her fingers up and down his side. It had been two weeks together, but he couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t in his life. He didn’t want to. She’d given him something to look forward to, and even if he couldn’t be everything she needed him to be, he was happy that she stayed. Maybe he was selfish, but the thought of watching her walk out the door, and never seeing her again, gutted him.

“You want to tell me how the wedding was now?”

She pushed up on her elbows, brown eyes locking on his. “It was amazing. More than amazing. It was better than even I could have anticipated. The barn looked beautiful with all the greenery and flowers and the wine barrels. I have pictures. Tons of pictures.” She went to move, but he grabbed her waist.

“We can look at them later.” He didn’t want her warmth pulling away from him. He wanted to stay in the moment for as long as he could.”

Her head tilted, and her eyebrow arched. “Okay.” She leaned down and kissed his chest. “I have a ton of appointments set up next week with potential clients. Everyone wants a rustic chic event now. Which leads me to the barn.”

“I knew you were only sleeping with me for my barn.”

“Well, it is a nice, very big barn.” She winked at him and he tickled her sides, flipping her beneath him. Laughs spilled from her, and he brought his mouth to hers, needing to take every opportunity he had to kiss her.

He pulled back, and she reached up, tucking his hair behind his ear and revealing his entire face. “Did this hurt?” she asked, tracing her finger along the jagged marks.

Her words surprised him for a second, but when he looked into her eyes, the care and concern shining through, he didn’t want to avoid the subject. He wanted to tell her everything.

“I’m not sure. After the accident, I was numb. I don’t know if was the pain meds they had me on or knowing that my entire family was gone. Maybe a combination of both. But when I think back to that time, I don’t think about my face or the pain that I might have physically been in. I remember the emptiness, the darkness, the shame and regret.”

“I couldn’t even imagine going through what you did.”

“And I wouldn’t want you to. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

“I wish I knew you then.”

He shook his head, then kissed the inside of her palm before sinking down beside her. “I would have pushed you away like I did everyone else.” It was easier that way. He didn’t have to see the pity in their eyes, hear them stumble on words when they realized they shouldn’t have said something. Disappearing made it easier on everyone, not just him.

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly the easiest to get to go away.”

He laughed, which was strange. It had been so long since he laughed so easily and now, even with the topic, Raelyn still managed to bring it out of him. “That’s for damn sure.” He rolled toward her, propping himself on his elbow and looking into her eyes. “But I was angry and bitter. I wouldn’t have wanted you to see me like that. I’m still surprised to this day that Gene didn’t tell me to go fuck myself.”

“It’s those tough Scottish genes. My Dad’s third generation, and he definitely has that tough Highlander air about him. He doesn’t back down from anything, and he’s loyal.”

“So is Gene. He’s seen me at my worst, but he continued to show up day in and day out. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened to the business if he wasn’t there. He didn’t just keep it afloat, he kept up with rising demand and continued to grow the business just as my dad did. At least until I could get my head out of my ass and takeover the backend of the business.”

“I’m happy you weren’t completely alone. That you had someone here for you. Because to think you had no one.” She pressed her lips together, and tears filled her eyes. “That hurts my heart.”

He leaned toward her, resting his forehead against hers. He kissed the bridge of her nose. “As much as I wanted to be alone… I wasn’t.”

“What were your parents and sister like?”

The question squeezed his heart and made it hard to breathe. He inhaled and focused on Raelyn. On the plump rise of her cheeks, the soothing brown of her eyes, and the smile that could light up the entire universe.

“My mom was a force. Worked full time on the farm, member of the PTA, went to every single one of my football games, always had a home cooked meal on the table except on Fridays when we ordered pizza.”

“We did Chinese food Friday in my house. Honestly, I still do. Even though I moved out, I’ve carried on the tradition.”

“Then we need to get Chinese next Friday.”

A smile pulled wide across her face. “Pizza too.”

“And who do you expect to eat all that food?” He linked his fingers through hers, pulling her hand to his mouth and placing a kiss on her knuckles.

“We can invite Gene for dinner.”

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