Page 74 of The Feud

As tired as I am, there’s not an ounce of me that’s drowsy. I’m hyperaware of everything… the feel of my body against his, the sorrow in his words and the knowledge that right now, I’m some measure of comfort.

It’s silent for a very long time and when Ethan finally talks, I’m surprised by the subject matter. “There was a time I thought my siblings hated me.” I jerk in his arms, lifting my face to look at him. Green pools of sadness meet me and he nods. “It’s true.”

“No way.” I shake my head. “I’ve seen you and your family interact. That is some deep-seated love.”

His smile is soft. “Yes, I know that now. But I didn’t always and that’s because I was too wrapped up in the chaos of my life to consider otherwise. I was standoffish, focused on work, unapproachable. I was put into a position of power but the weight of responsibility was crushing. It took everything I had to keep Blackburn Farms running when my parents turned it over to me, and that left no room in my life for anything else. The lack of attention I gave them, the invites to do things with them that I constantly turned down—it made it so we had a huge divide in our relationship. My siblings didn’t like me much at all.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I ask, my palm pressed against his cheek.

“Because when I say I had no room in my life for my siblings, I really meant I had no room in my life for anything. The farm was my everything. It was my one true love. It was where my loyalty lay.”

“But now you have Sylvie,” I say, understanding crashing over me like a wave. “And you see that you have far more in you than you thought, and it has paved the way to mend bridges with your siblings. For that matter, you—”

“I have you,” he says. Three words said as soft as a whisper carried on the wind, yet they punch into me like I’ve been struck by a sledgehammer.

“Yes, I’ve learned a lot these last several weeks, mostly how unfulfilled my life has actually been, and it’s brought me closer to my siblings. It’s opened up a part of my heart I didn’t know existed and where Sylvie will reside. And… there’s you.”

“There’s me,” I echo his sentiment, still not quite sure why he’s focusing on me when there are so many other important things going on.

“I couldn’t have handled any of this without you,” he says, and another epiphany hits. He wants to show his gratitude.

“You would’ve handled it all just fine,” I say dismissively and I start to drop my head back down to snuggle into him.

His hand moves to my chin, holding me in place, his green eyes now dark with intensity. “No, I wouldn’t have. But more than giving me strength and confidence with Sylvie, you gave me yourself. You gave me your smiles, your tenderness, your sass, your jokes and your serious obsession with reality TV.” His thumb strokes over my bottom lip, his gaze dropping there as he murmurs, “You gave me that mouth and your body.”

His eyes lift, pinning me in place. My heartbeat thunders in my ears so I barely hear him say, “I’m wondering if you’ll give me your heart?”

I’m so breathless, I can barely say the words. “You already have my heart.”

“Well, that’s good then. Because you most definitely have mine.”

I feel like I’m trapped, hypnotized by the intense expression on his face and the power of his words. “Something monumental is happening in our relationship.”

“Does that scare you?” he asks, head tilted slightly.

I shake my head but then smile sheepishly. “A little.”

“Would it scare you if I told you I love you?”

That sucks the oxygen from me and I can only stare at him until I feel like I’m going to pass out. I force a breath and let it out in a whoosh. “Oh, wow.”

“I’m not sure how to take that response,” he says, although I can tell he’s amused.

“I just… are you saying you love me?”

“I don’t know. Would it scare you away?”

I shake my head this time and there’s no bashful smile with it. “Won’t scare me away.”

His smile brightens, something I haven’t seen in a few days, and it sparks joy within me that, despite everything he’s been through, Ethan is latching on to a moment of happiness.

With me.

“I love you,” he says emphatically. “I do. And I can’t go another minute without you knowing that, and I need you to know that I need you, and whatever you need, I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you the moon if you ask for it. Now, you said you already gave me your heart, but I don’t read between the lines very well. I need you to be a bit more direct with me.”

Looping my arms around his neck, I grin as I brush my mouth over his. Leaning back so I can look him in the eye, I tell him what he wants to know. “I love you. So much. And I’m right by your side, through whatever storm is coming. I’ve got both you and Sylvie.”

“I know you do. And I love you even more for it.”

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