Page 56 of Honor Code

"Yeah, I saw it run off. We're good."

"Thank God."

He came back over and sank down beside her, their backs against the wall. "You're trembling."

She bit her lip. "I thought it was them, that they'd found us."

"Too soon," he whispered. "They'd have to get back to the mothership and regroup. It would take time. I'd estimate they're at least a couple of hours behind us, more if you take into account the darkness, and the fact they won't know which part of the island we swam to, or if we even made it."

"Do you think they've found our inflatable?"

"Maybe. It could have washed up onto the beach. Either way, I'd say we've got some time." His slanted blue gaze bore down on her. "We should probably get some rest."

"I'm not tired," she murmured. She could still taste him on her lips. Salty, masculine, a sweet elixir that she longed to get more of. Her body was still tingling from his touch.

"Ellie…" It was a guttural whisper.

"Please, Phoenix. I need to feel you, to know you're there." Was that too much to ask? They might not even make it through the night. She didn't want to die without knowing what it felt like to be with him, to be consumed by him. She'd had a taste of it, and it was addictive. She wanted more. Much more.

"I've done things, Ellie," he rasped, his face twisting with pain. "Bad things."

"What things?"

He sighed and leaned his head against hers. She felt his pain, his angst, and she wanted to soothe him, to make it go away, but she had to know… "What have you done?"

He shook his head like it was too awful to talk about.

"Tell me," she whispered.

He took a shuddering breath. "It was last year, in Basra." His face filled with pain again. "God, Ellie. You don't need to know this."

She nodded encouragingly. "I want to know." She wanted to know all about him, about what had made him into the broken man he was today. Why he left the Navy SEALs, why he was on that rig in the middle of the ocean, tormented by demons he couldn't let go. It was part of who she was, her curiosity, her need to figure things out, to find a solution. Maybe there wasn't one here, but she still wanted to find out about the man she'd fallen for.

The thought made her inhale sharply. Yes, she'd fallen for Phoenix in a big way. She couldn’t hide it anymore. She was head over heels for the guy.

He squeezed his eyes shut, as if digging deep within himself, then he opened them.

The anguish in them made her chest tighten.

"It was a messed-up situation. We'd gone in to rescue a bunch of women and children who'd been held hostage in an encampment. The terrorists were using them as pawns, to protect themselves.”

As human shields. She fought back a shiver of familiarity.

“My team went in first. Butch and Slick were the first men in. They took out several hostiles, but then more came in from a back room. We didn't know they were there. Must have been in a bunker or something, out of range of our infrared scopes. The rest of us were shepherding the civilians out when we realized they had Butch and Slick at gunpoint. It was either them or the hostages."

She stared at him, horrified. The thought of violence and war were so far from her reality, it felt like he was describing a movie. She could only imagine the horror he must have felt.

"What did you do?"

"I knew they were dead, no matter what." His voice caught, and he swallowed. "Those bastards weren't going to let them go. So I made the decision to move the civilians out.”

He paused, his face twisting in pain. When he spoke again, his voice was a whisper. “I abandoned them."

She grasped his hand. "It wasn't your fault. You saved the women and children."

"I left my men to die."

She held him then, cradling his head against her breast. He didn't cry, but she felt him shudder, and then his arms wound around her. There was desperation in his gaze as he looked up at her. He needed solace too, and she wanted to give it to him. She wanted to ease his pain.

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