Page 51 of Duty Bound

He’d fucked up.

Blade stared stormily out over the valley while Lily slept next to him.

That kiss.

Holy shit.

He couldn’t help himself. It had been boiling for so long, this unbridled passion between them. Finally, unleashed by her gentle pleading, he’d let himself go.

And made her cry.

Shit. What a jerk.

Then, he’d had the audacity to tell her he couldn’t go through with it. That he couldn’t do that to Spade. Couldn’t betray his friend’s memory.

Hell, they’d crossed that line days ago.

Deep down, he questioned whether that was the real reason he’d pulled back. Maybe he was just scared. Seeing her tears, knowing how much it had affected her… it had shocked him.

No, it had fucking terrified him.

That came with a whole new level of responsibility. A level far beyond his capacity. It always had been. That’s why he always kept it light. Fun. No strings.

This crazy, helter-skelter, all-consuming longing he felt whenever he kissed her was so completely foreign, he couldn’t get his head around it.

A shout somewhere far below brought him out of his daze. He’d been thinking about Lily when he should have been figuring out their next move. More proof why whatever was happening between them was a bad idea. He had to stay alert, keep a clear head if he was going to get her out of there.

After she was back home, things would revert to normal. She’d forget about him and this nightmare. People did that with trauma, pushed it to the back of their minds and pretended it hadn’t happened.

Most of the time.

Blade took another look at the map. The river was at its narrowest two klicks south. That would be the best place to cross. There might be a raft or a boat he could steal so Lily wouldn’t have to get soaked again.

He didn’t want a repeat of that episode. He tightened his jaw, willing away the memory of her soft skin against his.

The problem with crossing there, however, was that they were more vulnerable to an ambush. The valley narrowed at that point, becoming more rugged with less vegetation and fewer places to hide. The rocky outcrops on the steep valley sides also provided excellent cover for snipers.

He scanned the map, following the river. Ideally, he’d head south for another ten klicks before crossing, but that would result in a more difficult swim, and it was much farther to go. Spending yet another day out here would be suicide. He wanted them on the road to Kabul by nightfall.

Using his high magnification spotting scope, he scanned the length of the river, or as much of it as he could see from up here, but couldn’t spot anything out of the ordinary. Workers in the poppy fields, a couple of boats moored alongside a jetty—nothing that aroused his suspicion.

When the sun had sunk below the hills and the sky was turning a dark indigo, he woke Lily up.

Her eyes fluttered open. “Blade. Hmm…” She scrambled up. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” he reassured her, his tone crisp. His heart lurched as he saw the disappointment in her eyes. Damn, he hated himself for this. For hurting her.

But he was a pro. She was the hostage, and this was a rescue op, not a romantic getaway. He had to stay focused.

“Are we going?”

He gave a stiff nod. “Yeah, we should move out. Last push until we hit the road.”

“Okay.”

He gave her a moment to get herself together then helped her on with her backpack. “Why didn’t you and Spade ever come out with us?” The question surprised him. He hadn’t intended to ask, but it been on his mind for some time.

She hesitated. “It’s complicated.”