Page 39 of Protector

And when I’m on the edge of losing my control?

They’re black.

I turn around so that she doesn’t have to see them. Then, because I’m facing this way, I stalk toward the kitchen door.

“Jeannie, wait. Aren’t you going to eat?”

I shake my head roughly, letting the damp strands slap me in the face with the force of it without turning back to look at Fallon again. “Thanks for making it. Honest. But you know what? I’m just not hungry right now.”

The way my gut is twisting itself into knots? I might never be again.

It’s hard to say goodbye—so I decide I won’t.

I’ll see Fallon again. I have no doubt about that. And the petty, bitter she-wolf that I am likes the idea of leaving Winter Creek without a word to Tristan. I won’t reject out bond, either. I’d rather we both live with a jagged, unfulfilled bond than admit that I misjudged him again.

I really thought he felt something for me. That he wanted to be my mate.

What was it? A pity fuck? He knew that it wouldn’t mean anything because a bond can only be finalized on the night of the full moon, so he slept with me because what… he didn’t want to die a virgin? He knew I was desperate enough that I’d fall for his words and let him take me in a dirty cave?

I initiated it, but if he really had no intention of making me his forever mate, he should’ve said no. If I’d known that he was already planning on disappearing on me, I never would’ve offered.

But I did, and I can’t take it back now.

I can’t stay, though. Going back to New Jersey is definitely out of the question, too. To return to Lorelei and Cal, seeing them happy and bonded and in love while my own mate takes every chance he can to run from me? That’ll be more tortuous than the glass digging into my skin sensation I have to look forward to.

I should’ve known. I should’ve guessed. I’ve never heard of a male shifter who can take his female for the first time and not have the urge to bite her, to mark her, to show the world that she was his, but the Beta? He didn’t even try.

If I could leave right now, though, I would. Just cross over the rope bridge and start walking along the train tracks if only to get away. But as much as I want to run away, that’s not my style. Plus, I think those five days have finally caught up to me.

I crash. Hard. Curling up on my borrowed bed, I dream of a fantasy world where my mate actually wants me instead of the reality that life isn’t always a fucking fairytale.

Hours pass. Whenever I do wake up, I remember how much this whole situation sucks, and I go back to sleep if only to avoid it a little longer. I don’t know how long I sleep for, but when the quick knock against my locked door brings me back around, I still don’t think it’s long enough.

Too bad the knocking just doesn’t stop.

Knock, knock, knock, knock…

“Jeannie? You sleeping?”

I was. And if Fallon goes away, I can do it again.

“Listen. I don’t know if you’re up, but you still haven’t eaten yet. You’re worrying me. I wouldn’t be pulling this Eleanor shit if it wasn’t important, but you gotta eat, babe. Yeah? Come on. Dinner’s ready and I need you to go down and have some.”

“Go away Fallon,” I mutter into my pillow.

“Heard that,” she calls through the door.

Crap. So she hasn’t learned how to use her sniffer to tell when someone nearby is sleeping or awake, but her shifter ears work well enough to pick up a muffled mutter.

Of course. Why not?

“I’m still not hungry,” I snap back.

“Try,” is her witty reply.

I roll my eyes. “Give me one reason why I should.”

“You owe me.”

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