Page 79 of The Two Halves of My Heart

Chapter 24

Oliver 24 Years Old

It had been nearly three years since I’d seen Grace.

One hundred and twenty-seven weeks, thirty months, and almost one thousand days.

And it was killing me—a slow and torturous death, each day taking its own piece of my heart. I thought about the decision I’d made all those months ago, and the reasons behind it. The noble thing to do. The right thing. I’d been under no illusion that it would be easy when I said the words and left without looking back, but I’d hoped the pain would dull into an ache with time. That I would be able to look back with warmth and miss the times we were together as friends, not long to see her face in the flesh one last time.

Time for me had only sharpened that pain in my chest.

While I’d been missing from Grace, I’d also been missing from Maddison. As close as we were as brothers, I didn’t feel the same connection. That bond we shared had been severed, probably when we both realised we loved the same girl, and it never had a chance to repair.

I’d had no doubt he would swoop in—now free to pursue Grace without my shadow, but that’s as far as I’d allowed my imagination to run with that line of thought. My mind offered up enough questions to plague my daydreams and nightmares alike.

It’d been weeks since my last letter—the one where I should have just cut my heart out and mailed it to her, it would have been less painful. But as the weeks moved on, I grew more and more desperate to hear from her. About anything. Even if it was bad news.

And that was the reason I was on the train back home. Selling my car had paid for my first flights overseas, so I had to rely on public transport now. My job gave me very little spare cash at the end of the month, and with the prices of living and working in London and the hefty credit card bills I’d racked up during my travels trying to get over Grace, money was tight.

The guilt of leaving my parents in the dark ate at my gut the closer I got to home. They deserved an explanation for my vanishing act. Or rather why I lied about what I was doing with my life. Mum would have guessed the reason, but that was no excuse for the radio silence for so long.

My plan was simple, go home, see Mum and Dad, maybe speak to Maddison and try to understand what had happened since I’d been away. And work up the courage I needed to visit the girl who had forever held my heart.

I didn’t call ahead, and I splurged on the cost of a taxi from the station. As I approached the door, I could already hear raised voices, the familiar rumble of Maddison’s getting louder the closer I got.

I pushed the handle of the door and walked into the house that I missed calling home.

My arrival silenced the argument, and both Mum and Mads turned to look at me agape.

“What the fuck, are you doing here?”

“Maddison! That’s no way to speak to your brother.” She looked at me with a strained smile, and I knew this wasn’t the best time to arrive home.

“Great. Just great, Mum. He’s been back for five seconds, and you’re already taking his side again. Unbelievable.”

“Hey,” I offered, looking between the two. “I can come back later. Clearly, this isn’t a good time.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

They chimed in together, but it was Mum I listened to.

“I’ll be upstairs.” Maddison sulked off, but I felt the need to go and clear the air.

I looked at him and then Mum.

“Go. Speak to him, but be careful. He’s… changed. And he’s not in a great place right now.” She rubbed my shoulders, examining me as if I were a figment of her imagination, and she needed to check that I was real.

Before I went after Maddison, I dropped my bag next to the table and hugged her, giving her some reassurance that I’d be back.

The door to his room was open, so I pushed it even wider, announcing myself. But there was hardly anything in his room—an old single bed and a single wardrobe that I didn’t remember being here before.

“Hello, brother. To what do we owe this appearance?” He was sprawled back, with his arms propping up his head on the bed.

“I thought it was time. It’s been a while. How’ve you been?”

“Good. Great, actually. You don’t look like you’ve been stuck in an office for the last couple of years.”

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