Page 62 of The Two Halves of My Heart

“I’m not. I want this.” I started to move towards him again, needing to show him I was serious.

“But last night you stopped.”

“Because we were both angry. I wasn’t ready to let you take me to bed without working out where things stood between us. This is important to me. You’re important to me.”

He leaned his head against mine, taking a moment to catch our breaths. “You want this? Now?”

“Yes,” I said confidently, despite the heavy feeling of nerves weighing me down, I was excited and felt a little giddy. Like admitting my feelings and allowing this to play out was what I was meant to do all along. And those nervous feelings had morphed into a sexy desperateness that made me want to run my hands all over him, not hold him off. I hadn’t been sure what I was meant to be feeling, staring up at the boy I was about to sleep with, but there was no doubt. Not now. Holy Shit!

Maddison grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs, and déjà vu struck, except there was no anger this time. We both wanted this. We both knew what we were risking, but I was tired of never being truly happy.

Before we made it into the bedroom, he stopped, letting me run into him, and cupped my face, peppering me with kisses. They grew in urgency and passion, and I lost my breath in his arms. We made it into his room, but he didn’t slow down. We crashed onto his bed. He rolled away from me, pulling his t-shirt over his head and shoving his jeans down his legs like he was in a race until he was just in his boxers.

The definition of each muscle was stark. Like an artist had paid great attention to marking the shadows they cast. He was glorious, and I desperately wanted to reach out and run my fingers over his skin. So I did. But, before I’d had my fill, Mads grabbed the hem of my shirt, pulled it over my head and moved onto my jeans. His movements were urgent, bordering on desperate, and it fuelled something within me. His need overrode my nerves, and I focused on him rather than what was coming.

His fingers fumbled at my waist as he rushed to get rid of my jeans. Before I had a chance to think about what underwear I put on this morning, I was lying in just that. In front of my best friend. He drew his eyes over my body, sending goose bumps erupting over my skin. Mads didn’t let me grow cold, he smothered me with his body, warming me with skin.

“Grace, you’re perfect, and driving me crazy.” His complaint was emphasised by his kisses as he covered my neck and chest in between each word. I felt lightheaded, and a little out of control.

Maddison’s hands trailed over my skin and reached around my stomach and slipped under my knickers. A gasp snuck from my lips, but I forced my body to calm down and not clam up. His finger slipped inside of me, and it was electric, sending a buzzing around my body as he grazed the sensitive flesh. He increased the pressure, and I caught my breath. Mads dropped his head on a groan. “Jesus, Grace. You’re wet for me. For me.”

He stopped working his finger inside of me and leaned over to his bedside table. The sound of a crackle made me watch as I saw him open and roll a condom on. He leaned back to me, pushing my legs wide so he had room between them. With one arm supporting his weight, the other pushed his tip to my entrance, before he leaned forward.

The sting radiated through my body, and my teeth grit together, but I knew that was just because this was my first time. I sucked in a deep breath before Maddison pushed against me again, this time edging in farther.

His eyes locked on mine, searching for signs of pain, but he didn’t stop, just slowed, and tried to take it steady. A few more back and forth movements and the first heat of the sting subsided, leaving a warmth that had started to spread.

“You okay?” he panted at me.

I nodded, my voice suddenly stuck as I took in what we were doing.

Maddison rocked harder, moving his hips back and forth quicker and quicker. My arms wrapped around his shoulders because I wanted him closer to me, but he stayed over me, his thrusts gaining ferocity, and jolting both of us up the bed. It was rougher, more aggressive than I thought it would be. He wasn’t gentle or timid, but it felt… good. My body responded to his, a wave of heat taking over, and turning the sensation to need. That need only grew until I wanted more of… something.

“Fuck, Grace,” Maddison panted, slamming into me, harder and harder. It wasn’t painful, but only just—hovering on a dangerous line that a part of me wanted to stop. My nails gripped into his back as I tried to stem the movement, but it did nothing for either of us. It was like I was chasing something, desperate for him to rub or press in just the right place to unleash something deep within me.

Maddison paused, repositioning his arms, and that’s when he hit whatever I needed. The change in angle rubbed against my clit and sparked the building sensation within me that I’d been desperate to find without knowing what it was. My body felt set to burst, all my muscles tightening, quickening, and spiralling to a point, ready to come apart.

“Yes!” The crest hit and pulled a strangled cry from my mouth. I didn’t even recognise my voice. Mads responded instantly, his hips now slapping against me over and over until he stilled above me, the muscles in his neck contracting as he grunted and panted.

He rolled to the side, saving me from his weight, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I want to be cocooned by Maddison and never come up for air.

We’d waited so long for this, and I bathed in the hazy bliss, fighting to keep my eyes open and failing. I rolled towards him, and he welcomed me against his chest.

Somewhere, now I’d found it, I had no intention of leaving.

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