Page 6 of The Two Halves of My Heart

As the year progressed, the three of us fell into a comfortable routine. We lived in our own bubble when we were outside of school. We resorted to what we’d always loved to do—run wild and free with our imaginations. Maddison’s self-esteem grew, and he became bolder and braver when we played. He climbed higher than any of us in the trees. He was the first to jump in the stream when the sun shone, and his confidence was infectious.

Oliver was never as adventurous, but he was watchful. Always sizing up the situation and making sure that whatever we were doing, I was safe. When he was watching me, my body tingled like it knew his eyes were on me.

Maddison made me brave.

Oliver kept me safe.

And being with them made me feel invincible.

My ninth birthday was approaching, and I had everything I thought I’d ever need. Two best friends who were my whole world, and another summer of undivided time together.

Most other kids our age would be disappointed about not going away to somewhere hot and sunny. I’d never been abroad before, and plenty of the girls in our class talked about trips away with pools and sand. My mum didn’t need to make an excuse as to why we couldn’t go away this year because I’d never asked or wanted to. A holiday away would mean time apart from the only two people I wanted to spend my time with.

For my birthday that year, we planned a camping trip. Trip, might have been an exaggeration. Oliver and Maddison’s dad put up a tent in their back garden, and we had a sleepover. Sleeping bags, pillows, even a little campfire where we toasted marshmallows on sticks. They were sticky and gooey and delicious. The sugar stuck to my lips, and as I ate mine, the boys jumped around the fire, wielding their sticks as swords.

When Vivien came to turn the lights off, I snuggled into my sleeping bag. Oliver on one side of me, Maddison the other.

“The back door is open, so come right in if you get cold, or you don’t like it, okay?”

“Grace is fine. She’s got us,” Maddison said as if affronted at the idea that I wouldn’t be okay.

I giggled and looked at Oliver. He nodded, and we all said good night and zipped up the tent.

For a moment or two, we were quiet, the air and night settling around us as we grew used to the darkness. There was a small solar light outside the entrance of the tent that gave a low glow, but apart from that, it was dark. My eyes began to adjust, and I could make out the shadows of us in the tent.

“Is this the first time you’ve slept out?” Oliver asked.

“Yeah. We don’t have a tent, and we didn’t have anywhere we could do it at the old house.”

“We’ve been camping with Scouts lots of times. It’s safe, and it won’t get cold. Not with all of us.”

“It might be the last time you do this with us, Oliver,” Maddison started. “What with secondary school.”

“That won’t change things,” he protested.

“Really? You’ll have loads of homework and new friends. So it will just be Grace and me next year.”

His comment gave us pause for a moment. It was true, that could happen. But my little heart prayed it wouldn’t.

“No, it won’t. Doesn’t matter if I’m at a different school, we’ll still see each other in the evenings and weekends. We should make a pact—to promise to be best friends, no matter what. Come on.” Oliver sat up and put his arm out for us to make our promise.

I put my hand on top of his, and Maddison added his to mine. Suddenly this pact was the most important thing in the world, and the air felt heavy in the tent.

“Promise,” Oliver said sternly.

“Promise.”

“Promise.” We both repeated.

It was done. And somehow, that act reassured something inside of me.

We all made it through the night, but I couldn’t get the thoughts of new schools from my mind. The weeks were running out, and soon it wouldn’t be the three of us every day. No matter how grateful I was that Maddison was still going to be with me, Oliver wouldn’t be.

And I couldn’t help the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

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