Page 84 of The Two Halves of My Heart

Chapter 26

Grace 21 Years Old

Mum replaced most of my bedroom furniture with bargains on eBay, and other upcycle sites. The pieces were all a combination of vintage and shabby chic that we worked on sprucing up together, and I loved them. We painted, sanded, and varnished from morning until we were both too tired to lift a brush. And I loved her for all the effort she put into keeping my mind and my heart distracted from Maddison.

Bob stayed out of our way, snoozing on the new chair we’d salvaged. He’d been my little shadow for the past few weeks—always in the same room as me, a constant memory of happier times.

As well as the home décor plan, Mum had taken charge of the other area of my life I’d left in the wind. Since finishing my degree, I’d achieved nothing in the way of getting a job, and I needed to rectify that. The competition in the job market was hard enough without apathy adding to my hurdles to overcome.

With a little loving encouragement, I’d lined up two interviews with small, independent publishers. Even though the chances of starting as a junior editing assistant were slim, the prospect of the interviews was enough to invigorate me. I might have needed the push, but I was living up to my word of putting myself first.

The first interview went well. Or rather, I didn’t trip over my words, I ensured I was polite, made eye contact and didn’t umm or err at too many of the questions posed. The second, I was more nervous about, as they were a bigger company. The exposed brickwork of the reception teamed with glass walls, and shelves and shelves of books, instantly sent tingles down my spine as I walked in.

This was the type of place I could see myself spending time. And of course, the moment I set my heart on the job, the nerves grew like monsters inside my mind.

There were a handful of other people in the waiting area. All of a similar age to me, and I knew we were all here for the same thing. It had been a while since I’d found excitement in anything around me. Even the fantasy worlds I’d so often escaped to growing up, couldn’t pull me away of late. But there was an energy here, like its own magical world, that thrummed through my veins, adding weight to the importance of today.

“Grace Shaw?”

After the interview, I headed straight to the job that had sustained my bank account for years. I still had a job, and until I heard anything from either interview, this job would suffice. Of course, I’d already prayed I’d hear back from the second interview first. The likelihood of being offered both was probably a zillion to one, but I wouldn’t be able to settle until I heard from the position I wanted most.

It was nearly half-past eleven before I got to leave for home. It was a warm evening, despite autumn changing the colours of the trees. Stars lit up the sky like a blanket of glowing dust. A pale glow illuminated my bedroom window as I got closer to home—the only light left on in the house. We’d finished my room, and I could start to feel settled again.

As I walked down the drive, a figure waited, sitting on the doorstep, hidden in shadow. My footsteps halted, and I grabbed for my bag until the man stood and stepped into the faint glow from my room.

“Oliver?” The shadows obscured him, but it would take a lot for me not to recognise him.

“Hey. Sorry if I startled you. Your mum said you were working, but after I’d worked up the courage to speak to you, I couldn’t bring myself to leave.”

“It’s really late.” My reply was frosty and reflected my reaction to him being here.

“I know. Again, I’m sorry.”

“What did you want to say to me?” I knew I was being harsh, but the last thing I expected was to come home and find Oliver waiting for me. I’d put his letters out of my mind since I’d read them. As far as I was concerned, they were too little, too late. They didn’t change the way I felt now, and they wouldn’t have changed the way I felt if I’d read them when he intended for me to read them. My heart belonged to Maddison. I wouldn’t betray that, and I was glad Mum had hidden them from me.

“Just that I was back. Or rather, I’ve been making visits back to see Mum and Dad and had some time during the week. I live in London now. I’m not sure if you’ve…”

“Got your letters? I did.”

“Right then.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked through the gloom around us.

“It’s been a busy day, Oliver.” I prompted, not ready for this conversation. The way he’d done this just added fresh wood to the embers of anger still burning inside of me towards him. After everything we’d been through, everything we’d said, this was how he’d decided to come back into my life?

I dug around in my bag for my keys and marched past him to the door.

“I’ll be at home tomorrow. Maybe we can talk properly?”

“Maybe.” I opened the door and waited to say goodbye. I could feel the wave of emotions ready to break, and I didn’t want to let Oliver see he’d affected me so much.

“Goodnight.” I watched him as he walked off and into the darkness. I pictured him taking the same steps we’d both travelled hundreds of times before. My mind counted the seconds it would take him to arrive home before I shut the door and locked the house.

Bob stretched on the bed beside me as I sat down, exhausted from everything that had happened today. My heart had been on a rollercoaster these last months, and that was while I was ignoring Oliver. He was a lot harder to ignore when he turned up on my doorstep in the middle of the night. But then, wasn’t that what Oliver would do?

I curled up in bed and started processing the parts of the day I wanted to focus on. The hope of a job offer, the start of something new that was for me, and no one else. But it wasn’t long before memories invaded my mind and took me to a happier time when dragons and stories and running through fields were the sum total of my troubles.

I told myself it was because I wanted answers.

I told myself it was because I wanted to know how much he’d hurt me.

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