Page 80 of The Two Halves of My Heart

“No.” I sniggered. My hair was lighter, more like Maddison’s now with all the sun I’d got while travelling. “I’ve been travelling a fair bit. You?”

“Didn’t have that luxury. I’ve been working. Making something of myself for Grace and me.”

The mention of her name set me on edge. I knew this was a trap. He wasn’t offering this information out of the goodness of his heart, he was taunting me, but I couldn’t ignore it. After all, Grace was the reason I was here, and anything about her was just too tempting to pass up.

“How is she?” It was the safest opening.

“She’s great. I’m surprised you’re interested after you just left like that. Not cool, man. But at least I was there for her.”

“I’m sure you were.”

“Yeah, I was.” He sat up on the bed and looked down at me, even though I was standing over him. “You missed a lot, big brother. She’s with me now, and we’re happy. So, don’t think that you can come back here and fuck everything up because you’re bored with your job or whatever. You moved on. So did we.”

“Hey, I didn’t come back to mess with anything.” I put my hands up in defence. Maddison had always been bigger than me, but now he seemed massive.

“Really? Then why did you come back?”

“It’s only a visit. I thought I owed Mum that much at least.”

“No, shit.”

“And I wanted to apologise to Grace.”

“Well, good luck. She doesn’t live at home anymore. She moved out a while ago now.”

That explained the silence from my letters, although I’d have hoped her mum would have passed them on. “I don’t suppose you know where to find her?” I ground my molars together and forced a smile. Needing information from Maddison about anything hurt, but when it came to Grace, some things just never changed.

“Sure. She’s with me. We live together.” He stood up. “So, don’t get any fucking ideas about messing up my life. You did the right thing leaving. Now live with that decision and fuck off.” His sneer turned his face into a vicious mask, hiding the brother I once knew. He knocked my shoulder, pushing me off balance as he walked out.

Maddison had changed. From that little display, I could see he’d only grown more aggressive and hostile since I’d left, and I could only hope that Grace was the remedy he needed. This man in front of me wasn’t to be messed with.

The empty room now made sense, but the jealousy he’d sparked in me with his comments about Grace was undeniable. It had been inevitable in a way. I knew Mads would go after her, but living together?

My steps were heavy on the stairs as I went to find Mum. Maybe she could update me on everything that had been going on without me wanting to strangle her for telling me. She was in the kitchen, looking like she was about to scrub the top off of the kitchen surface.

“I think it’s clean.” My helpful comment stopped her in her agitated state, and she put the cloth down to look at me.

“I can put the kettle on if you want. If you’re staying?” The uncertainty in her voice killed me, especially as I knew it was my actions that put it there.

“Just overnight, if you’re okay with that. I know I sprung this on you.”

It was her turn to offer me a hug, although I thought it was for her benefit. “You’re welcome here anytime. This is your home. I just hope you remember that rather than disappearing on me in the future.”

“I’m sorry. At the time, it was the only way out I could see. It appears I’ve missed some stuff though. Maddison wasn’t all that detailed.”

“Well, that’s your brother. And you left him as well as the rest of us. I know that you fought, but you were close in so many ways. You hurt him even if you didn’t mean to. But, before I answer your questions, how about you tell your mum what you’ve been doing for all of this time.”

She took my hands and led me into the sitting room. I gave her the highlights of the last few years, focusing on my travels and what I’d seen of the world. Even though it was a happy conversation, it didn’t stop the tears gleaming in her eyes, and I was struck by the pain I must have caused, all over again.

“I’m sorry, Mum. But I promise not to do that again. I needed to escape. I couldn’t stay and let the two of us fight over Grace, trapping her between following her heart and hurting us. It wasn’t fair. I did what I thought was best.”

“And that was a very noble gesture. I know Grace would never have picked between the two of you. But she has now. She’s done so much for Maddison.”

Hearing this from her crushed the last sliver of hope I’d kept alive.

“But Maddison is complicated. And I know that he doesn’t make it easy.” She paused as if she was worried about her next words. “Are you going to visit her?”

It was the question I’d kept running over in my mind. She was the reason I’d come back. She was my reason for everything, but being here, and realising that life had gone on without me, I wasn’t sure if pushing myself back into her life was for the best? For her, or my brother. All of this had happened because I made a decision—shouldn’t I learn to live with that, no matter what the consequences for me?

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