Page 68 of The Two Halves of My Heart

“So, you’ve still been fighting?” I narrowed my stare at him, feeling like he’d gone behind my back. Although, I’d never told him to stop, not really.

“Yeah. Why do you think I train so hard? I’m not going to jack this all in when I’m actually good at it. You didn’t even know I was still doing it, I’m that good. Nobody can touch me.” He stepped forward, and all that was missing was the figurative banging of his fists on his chest.

“If you’ve been winning all this time, why now?” I crossed my arms defiantly.

“Because this is a main event fight. I need this. It’s what I’ve been working for. For us.”

My mind raced back to the guy he was meant to fight—Jay—the sleaze at the party. “Is it against the guy at the party? Is that why you need me there?” I remembered their weird standoff and confrontation, and what Jay had said before we left. There was a subtext that although Mads denied, I couldn’t shake.

He stood over me, looking into my eyes like he was searching for something he’d lost. “You think I’d put you on the line in a fight against someone? That I’d risk that? That I’d risk you?”

His words squeezed my heart as I realised my mistake and what my stupid assumption had done. “No, well, no…”

“How could you even think that?” He seethed as he clenched his jaw.

“It’s these fights. They bring out the worst in both of us. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have doubted you. But you want to progress, and you told me this guy was blocking your way.”

“And so, you thought the worst of me?”

“I’m sorry.” Guilt rose from my gut, swallowing me up as I saw it from his side. Tears stung my eyes as I recognised I’d made all of this so much worse.

“I wanted you there on Saturday because it’s a big fight. A lot of money on the line, enough that I can give you more than this tin can and forget about labouring anymore. And why I was in a bad mood is because I know you don’t like to watch. So, I was forcing myself not to ask you because that’s what you want. And making you happy is all I’ve ever wanted. Seems I can’t do anything fucking right.” He raised his arms before storming towards the front door.

“Please, Maddison?” I called after him, but it was too late. He was gone.

The house was so quiet without Maddison. Bob tried his best to keep me company, but it wasn’t the same. I missed Maddison and hated myself for jumping to the wrong conclusion. I wondered how I could fix this or show him that I did believe in him. He was the one getting beaten up, and his words about moving on and doing this for me just made the guilt harder, and my decision clearer.

It was two days before the fight, and Maddison had somehow managed to avoid me for that entire time. I knew he’d been home. He was just good at knowing when I’d be at work. I’d taken on more shifts at the pub since leaving Uni, but any motivation to look for something to start my career had taken a nosedive.

Looking for a job in a creative industry like publishing meant I needed to feel creative, and right now, that was the furthest thing from my mind.

I’m sorry. Talk to me? I love you x

Come home. We don’t have to talk, just tell me you’re ok. x

Please, don’t do this to us x

Maddison ignored all of my messages and left me with only one last option—turn up and watch him fight—show him how sorry I was. But I needed help. I’d only turned up to one fight without Leo, and I only got in because I argued with the guy behind the door. Dropping Maddison’s name worked on that occasion, but I couldn’t put the future of our relationship on the line with nothing but luck on my side. I had Leo’s number, and I’d make him help.

My stomach was in knots. I hated coming here—but I loved Maddison more. I knocked on the door and hoped Leo had told them to expect me. Sure enough, as soon as I told the man peering out of the small hatch my name, the doors opened before me.

At least I was familiar with the layout, and the place didn’t intimidate me any longer. I made my way swiftly down to the area I’d always watched from. It was where Leo agreed he’d meet me. The music and atmosphere helped to block out my fear, as I focused on doing the one thing I could to make things up to Maddison.

Leo was waiting at the rails, a hoard of people already gathered around, all wrestling for a better spot. He was a smaller build to Maddison, and while he still looked intimidating, he had a calm vibe about him that eased the pounding of my heart.

“Come on. We’re going to the next level. He’ll want to see you, and there’ll be a mob here tonight.”

“Thank you,” I offered, having only spoken a few words to Leo in the past. His comment about the people coming to watch shot my anxiety through the roof.

I wrung my hands together, shifted my weight back and forth and generally did whatever I could think of to distract myself from what was about to happen.

The noise level became deafening, and I looked at the doors towards the back. The other fighter came out first. He paraded around, ramping up the crowd and acting like he’d already won. A few minutes later, Mads followed. He was a complete contrast—head down, focused, and straight to business. He got inside the fencing of the ring, but before he turned to his opponent, he looked up to the place I’d always watched from.

Perhaps it was my mind playing tricks on me, but I was sure I saw his shoulders drop, just a fraction. Until he lowered his gaze and saw me. He smiled. And for that moment, I knew it was going to be okay, and that we could work through the damage we’d both inflicted on one another.

Until the other guy in the ring approached from behind, and smashed his fist into Maddison’s face, sending him crashing to the mat.

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