Page 57 of The Two Halves of My Heart

Chapter 17

Maddison 19 Years Old

Great.

Just, fucking great.

It had only taken a month for us to have our first fight, and I’d stormed off and left, after telling her I fucking loved her. Could I have screwed this up any more? I slammed my hands down on the steering wheel and tried to calm down. How could the girl I’d loved for fucking ever, bring me to the point of madness so easily? It was like her superpower over me.

Drive me to distraction—check—and then some.

And living together, which I thought was going to magically solve all of my problems, only made them worse. Because now I’d got to witness the sadness that Oliver had put there. I thought I’d be the one to make her happy, to make her forget, but that plan wasn’t working.

“Argh!” I hit the wheel again and knew that nothing would get rid of the pent-up fury. Hell, nothing did. But at least in the ring, I could channel it. Bring all the rage and hate that had been festering over the days and weeks, and direct it at someone that wasn’t me.

I turned the ignition and headed off, knowing that the gym was probably the only option at the moment, besides fucking someone I had no desire to. Sex was complicated, and my head didn’t need that shit right now.

All the drive had done was wind me up even more. I grabbed my spare kit from the backseat and hit the gym. It was under new management and now operated twenty-four-seven. That suited me because I could show up whenever I needed to, and since being in the same house as Grace, that was a fucking lot.

Zuri, as ever, was already in the weights room.

“Hey, my man,” he greeted me, although he didn’t look too pleased to see me. “Don’t over-train. Important fight. You need to be fit. Not tired, you know this.”

“I won’t go hard,” I lied. I had to get the row with Grace out of my system.

“You are bad liar.”

I shrugged and walked over to start my warm-up. Although I felt like I needed to attack something to release this… this… storm inside of me, it calmed once I began to hit my stride. With every rep, every muscle ache, I pictured her face, saw her tears, and it only made me push harder. She had the unique ability to make me the strongest I’d ever felt yet bring me to my knees. And I could do nothing but love her.

“You ready for next fight?” Zuri came and asked me. He should fucking know.

“Sure. I’ll be there.”

“Good. This one will be a test. Make sure you bring your lucky charm.”

I was up off the bench with my fist gripping his t-shirt before I’d realised I’d moved. “What did you say?”

“Relax. Save it for the ring. But don’t think we don’t see her. You bring her, but she only stays if you keep winning.”

“Whatever, man. See you at the fight.”

I hung out at the bar for a while, killing time before heading home. I wasn’t ready to face Grace yet, so I gave her a little longer to fall asleep. As midnight rolled around, I pulled up outside and killed the engine. Unlocking the door, I crept in, noticing all but the hall light was off. The smell of Italian food hung in the air, and I felt like an arse for ruining the evening. The dishes were still waiting for me at least, so I set my idle hands to good work.

I needed this fucking fight. This time, there was some serious cash in it for me when I won. And winning was my only option. No way was I going to serve drinks and clean up forever. And sure, lifting timbers and blocks all day helped keep me in shape, but it certainly didn’t pay all the bills. Not when I’d promised Grace a bigger house. Hell, I wanted to give her the fucking world.

No, I wanted to make something of my life. This way was just a little less conventional than I’d always thought. Grace was always telling me to think big. Well, here I was. Maybe one day she’d realise it was all for her anyway.

Grace and I seemed to avoid each other for the days leading up to the weekend fight. Not much had changed from our usual routine, but it felt forced like we were doing this on purpose because we knew we both wanted something else from the other.

It was a lot easier when we were kids, and I often thought about things being the way they were back then. Would I be satisfied with just being friends? A long time ago, maybe, but no, if I was honest, I wanted Grace for myself and had for a long time. I just refused to be the jerk who’d forced her to make a choice. Moving in together had been about bringing us together, but so far, it had just pushed us apart. If she wasn’t ready to admit her feelings, fine, I’d wait. I’d had plenty of practice, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to tap out the way Oliver had. Grace deserved someone who’d be there for her, no matter how much it fucking hurt.

That was me, not him.

In all the years we’d known each other, Grace had never let me down. She’d come to all of my important games when I was a kid. Zuri was right when he said she was my lucky charm. But it was because of the way that seeing her made me feel. Invincible. Like I was the only person in the world she saw. It was that magic spark that she gave me, and it lit a fucking fire within me when I needed it most.

And I needed her now.

As I prepared at home, she was nowhere to be seen. In fact, I hadn’t seen her since the night before. She’d cooked dinner and left some in the kitchen, before going to work. We’d passed each other as she left the house with nothing more than a small smile and a ‘hi’.

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