“The fighting.”
“Fighting?” I asked, my blood turning to ice at the word as I pictured the scene from the other night.
“He started to come home looking like he’d been in a fight. Cut lip, swollen eyes, black and blue with bruises. I thought it was his debts catching up with him, but it wasn’t. He needed to make money and to keep some nasty people happy, so he started fighting. Sometimes he’d win—sometimes he’d lose. That was the hardest part. Seeing the man I loved get beaten up for money.”
The words sank in, but all I could think about was Maddison and the club he’d taken me to. The men in the ring, was that what my father did? I didn’t know how old he was, but if he were the same age as my mum, he’d be in his late forties now.
“You left him?”
“I had no choice. His lifestyle, the fights, the money; it all caught up with him. People came to the house. They took my car and threatened us. So, I left. He always swore I’d never leave him, and that if I did, he’d find us. It’s taken a long time for me to stop looking over my shoulder all the time.”
“You don’t want me leaving home, do you?” Now she’d put everything on the table, I understood the overprotectiveness I’d experienced over the years. I’d put it down to her being a watchful mum. With her story as context, I could understand her worry.
“No. I know I have no right. This is your life, and I can’t make you pay for the mistakes I made, but I’m your mother, and I need to watch out for you.”
“Where did we live before?” I realised I’d never asked any of these questions in the past. Was that because I suspected it wasn’t something I wanted to know about?
“London.”
“He doesn’t know where we are now, so why would he be able to find me somewhere else?” I knocked St Mary’s off my options and thought about what other choices I had to make.
“He might not. But that doesn’t make it any easier for me.”
My mind sorted through the list of questions that kept popping up. But the one thing I couldn’t escape was that I’d be causing Mum more pain if I moved away. Did I need to do that?
“What’s my father’s name?”
“Mike. But he was known as Mikey. Mikey Kenner.”