Page 33 of Spanish Marriage Solution

Alice pulled her arm from his grasp and took a small step back, her eyes still wide and dark. The flickering emotions in them made his breath catch.

She shook her head. ‘That’s...not... I can’t...’

‘Of course not,’ he said, so she didn’t have to explain. ‘It’s too soon after Emily’s death and now I have Diego.’

She glanced away, lifting a hand to her mouth, her fingers trembling. ‘You said it was nothing more than sex.’ Her voice was slightly hoarse. ‘That’s what you said in Madrid.’

He’d shocked her, he could see that. And it was clear that love wasn’t something she wanted either. A part of him was satisfied by that and yet another part found it...

No. He couldn’t think about that. It would lead him one step closer to the precipice and he wasn’t going to do that. ‘Yes,’ he said reluctantly, ‘I did.’

Her dark eyes came to his again. ‘So maybe...we need to find out once and for all. Maybe if we have no limits, no boundaries, we can...keep doing whatever we want until this...obsession is all gone.’

The idea had merit. In Madrid, she’d said that perhaps part of the appeal had been how forbidden each of them had been to the other, and even though he’d denied it at the time, maybe she hadn’t been wrong. In which case putting limits on his hunger would of course make her even more appealing to him.

So...perhaps if he took the limits off completely, indulged in every single one of his fantasies whenever and wherever he liked, not just at night but during the day too, that would make his own hunger less intense. It was worth considering.

Maybe if he spent time with her, if they lost themselves totally in each other, they’d discover that what this instant chemistry between them had been all along was only physical attraction and the allure of the forbidden. An illusion giving the impression of a depth that wasn’t there.

‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’ he asked.

Slowly Alice lifted her chin. ‘I don’t want to fall for you any more than you want to fall for me, because you’re right. It’s too soon. I lost my sister and Edward, and Diego is more important than anything. How can we give him the family he needs when we’re so consumed by what we feel for each other anyway? We need to know. We need to find out. Or at least get rid of the...want. Neither of us want love, Sebastián, so perhaps it will work out.’

She was right, especially about Diego. This constant uncertainty when it came to her and what he felt wouldn’t be a good foundation on which to build the kind of family he wanted for his son. They needed to burn out their need for each other and do it without distractions, so they could then decide what their marriage would be like going forward. And with Diego front and centre.

His heartbeat was suddenly loud, desire rising inside him, relentless and all-consuming. Her, with no boundaries, no limits... They hadn’t had a honeymoon—he hadn’t thought they’d need one, but perhaps that had been a mistake. Perhaps a honeymoon was exactly what they should have, and away from the hacienda. Away from the memories of Emily and Edward and the Christmases they’d spent here. Away from the ghosts of his own marriage and his failure.

A honeymoon where there were no memories. Where they could find out what their marriage looked like in a place that was theirs and only theirs.

‘If you could go anywhere in the world,’ he asked abruptly, ‘where would you go?’

Alice blinked. ‘What? What’s that got to do with anything?’

‘We didn’t have a honeymoon and I think that was a mistake.’

She gave him a wary look. ‘So, you’re saying we should have one?’

‘Yes. Away from the hacienda and the memories here. Away from everything. If we know what we don’t want, then we can decide what we do.’

She nodded slowly. ‘Okay. But we do it together. You don’t make decisions like putting distance between us for me and I don’t make them for you.’

That was fair. He should have said something to her about that, he should have been clearer.

Already you’re failing.

No, no, he wouldn’t, not this time. Not with her.

‘So,’ he said, allowing the need that was strangling him to deepen his voice. ‘In the interests of making decisions together, tell me where you want to go.’

Something lit slowly in her eyes and he felt warmth settle just behind his breastbone in response. It had been a long time since he’d put that light in anyone’s eyes, in fact the last time had been when he’d bought Emily her Paris apartment. Then there had been a bitterness in him at the gift, because what he’d actually been giving her was his absence, and that was what had made her look so pleased. Not with Alice though. A honeymoon meant time spent in each other’s presence and it was clear that was exactly what she wanted.

She wanted to spend time with him.

Her mouth curved and the warmth deepened. This was the first time he’d made her smile. ‘Okay, well, I like sun and I like swimming. Nice food obviously. I also love beaches and being on the ocean.’

Good. He liked all of those things too. ‘No sightseeing?’

‘I don’t know if that’s the point of this, is it?’

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