Page 29 of Spanish Marriage Solution

Guilt ate at him, but he shoved it away.

Again, Alice’s chin came up, her temper flaring. ‘Are you going to give me more, then?’ she demanded. ‘Is that what I can expect from you?’

He gripped her tighter. There were things she couldn’t expect from him, it was true, but at least he was honest about that. And he wouldn’t be a hypocrite. He’d do better with her than he had with Emily. He’d certainly never make her feel as if she was anyone’s second choice. ‘I will never squander what I have in you,’ he said fiercely. ‘I will respect you, care for you, desire you. I will do everything I can not to hurt you. The only thing I can’t give you is love, Alice.’

Emotions flickered through her gaze, though what they were he couldn’t tell. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said, her voice very neutral. ‘In fact, it’ll be a long time before I’m ready to love anyone again anyway. I’ll settle for what you can give me.’

The word ‘anyone’ caught at him, as did the word ‘settle’. A scrape against his skin and oddly painful. He ignored the sensation. ‘If you do happen to fall in love with someone, we can discuss it. I don’t want a divorce, but I’m sure we can come to some arrangements if need be.’

Her gaze suddenly became sharper, focusing on him in a way that wasn’t comfortable. ‘What about you? What if you fall in love with someone?’

‘I won’t.’ He said it with the utmost certainty, because that was the last thing he’d ever do. ‘Any love I have to give will go to Diego and that’s all.’

‘You didn’t love Emily, then?’

The question sounded like an accusation, but then he supposed that was fair since he’d asked her the same thing about Edward.

‘I tried to,’ he said slowly, and he’d thought he’d managed it until Alice had come on the scene. ‘But trying wasn’t enough in the end.’

The sharp focus faded from her eyes, replaced with something like sympathy. ‘No,’ she murmured, regret in her voice. ‘It never is, is it?’

She wasn’t wrong. Love was never enough for anyone, or at least his wasn’t. Not for his mother, not for his father, and not for Emily. Only the horses accepted his and didn’t require anything more.

Part of him wanted to know why she thought the same and what had happened in her family to make her think so, because it wasn’t just about Edward. Yet, another part of him was done with talking, especially when there were better things to be doing.

‘Any other questions?’ he asked abruptly. ‘I’m hungry and not for breakfast.’

She didn’t answer. Instead, she slid her arms around his neck and kissed him. And there was no more talking for a very long time.

CHAPTER EIGHT

TWO WEEKS LATER, Alice sat in the cool of the hacienda’s courtyard, under the shade of the bougainvillea, Diego nestled in the crook of her arm. She’d just given him a feed and he’d settled down happily. He was such a good baby.

Alice felt much more comfortable with him now and it eased something in her heart just to sit here like this, in the heat of a Spanish summer with her nephew sleeping peacefully in her arms.

Pity the rest of it isn’t so peaceful.

That was an understatement.

In the two weeks since they’d got back from Madrid, Sebastián hadn’t wasted any time. He’d taken her to Seville where they’d got married in a quick register office ceremony. She’d felt uncomfortable marking the occasion in any way since it was only a purely legal affair, but had decided at the last minute to wear one of the dresses she’d bought in Madrid, a deep blue silk number that flattered her skin and her figure. She’d wondered initially what the point of wearing the dress was and then seen gold flare in Sebastián’s gaze the second he’d laid eyes on her and knew then that that had been the point.

The ceremony had been quick and before she knew it, she was Sebastián’s wife. Lucia had then cooked them a special dinner that night and they’d eaten only half of it when Sebastián finally lost patience, pushed his plate aside, pulled her up from her chair and took her to bed.

That was the only part of their relationship that seemed to function on any level. At night they explored each other, learned each other. She found out what he liked and, as it turned out, he liked everything and there was nothing about his body that was off limits to her. She gave him back the same, which he took full advantage of, learning all the things that gave her pleasure and then showing her new ways to experience it. She lived for their nights together.

During the day, though, it was a different story. He was almost a stranger to her, spending most of his time in his office or down in the stables. Mornings and evenings he reserved for Diego and she loved watching him with the baby, seeing him all patient, gentle, and caring. Protective too.

It made her hungry for him, made her want more of him, though she knew that the nights they spent together should be enough. She was almost shocked to find herself a little envious of her nephew, wishing that Sebastián were that way with her, which was ridiculous. She didn’t want him to be. He’d been very clear in Madrid that their marriage would be only a physical and legal one, no emotions would be involved, and she’d agreed to it. She couldn’t say she hadn’t known what she was getting into when she’d said yes to his proposal.

She tried to ignore the feelings though and it was easy at first, since she was busy dealing with transferring her life from Auckland to Spain. She had help from Sebastian’s staff, though she knew she was eventually going to have to go back to Auckland to deal with some of the practicalities herself. In the meantime, she’d decided to take a couple of weeks off to spend them as she’d originally planned, getting to know Diego and recovering from Edward and Emily’s sudden loss.

Sofia came out to take Diego to put him down for his afternoon nap and, afterwards, Alice sat there in the quiet, listening to the cicadas, knowing she had a mile-long to-do list and that she’d better get onto it, and yet not moving.

It was always like this after Diego was asleep and there were things to do and yet she didn’t do any of them. She couldn’t stop thinking about Sebastián. About whether this was going to be her life now, living with the stranger who was her husband, about whom she knew very little. Each of them with their separate lives and meeting only at night, in bed, where their hunger for each other remained fierce.

It seemed ridiculous that she knew his favourite sex positions, yet she didn’t know how he liked his coffee or whether he preferred movies to books, or what he’d wanted to grow up to be when he was a child.

Remind you of anything?

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