Page 20 of Spanish Marriage Solution

Yet more ice slid down his spine.

He shifted, pushing himself away from Alice and getting to his feet, putting his clothes back in order. His hands were shaking.

‘Sebastián?’ Her voice was soft and husky and there was an uncertain note in it that tugged at his heart.

He gave himself a minute to gather the tattered remnants of his control then glanced at her.

She was sitting on the floor, her bra half off one shoulder, her knickers a scrap of ripped lace off to one side, her hair a black smoky storm. Her lips were red and full, and she looked thoroughly ravaged and so utterly beautiful he nearly lost control a second time and reached for her.

Instead, he said the first words that entered his head. ‘I didn’t use a condom.’

Colour crept through her cheeks, and she glanced away. ‘It’s fine. You don’t need to worry about that.’ Her voice had lost the uncertainty, becoming so determinedly neutral, he knew that somehow he’d hurt her.

Of course you hurt her. You took her like an animal and then the first words out of your mouth were about a lack of condom. Nothing about her. Nothing about how beautiful she was or how good she made you feel.

His chest tightened. She was reaching for the remains of her dress and trying to put it on, though it was now thoroughly ruined. Her hands were shaking too.

‘Alice,’ he said, trying to sound gentler. ‘I should have found one—’

‘I said, you don’t have to worry about that.’ She was looking at him now, and he could see a flicker of anger in her eyes.

‘Why not?’ he asked without thinking. ‘Are you on the pill?’

She got to her feet, still clutching the remains of her dress around her, and lifted her chin. Her expression was shuttered and that made his chest tighten even more. ‘No.’ Her voice was as flat as his had been. ‘You don’t need to worry about that, because I can’t have children, okay?’

He blinked in shock. ‘What?’

‘I’m not sure how much clearer I can be, Sebastián.’ The red silk falling around her half-naked body and the oddly defiant look in her eyes made her look as regal as an empress. ‘I had a bad miscarriage a couple of years ago and now I’m infertile. So don’t worry, you won’t be having any unexpected consequences from this little...mistake.’

She sounded cool and yet he knew now that she wasn’t. He’d held her in his arms, been inside her, felt her passion join with his in a bonfire so bright and so hot it eclipsed the sun. He also knew that, no matter how expressionless or cool her voice sounded, the miscarriage had been the thing that had devastated her. Had dimmed that light inside her. And now he’d been thoughtless with a question he shouldn’t have asked and it had hurt her. He had hurt her. And she didn’t deserve that.

‘Alice...’ He took a breath, running a distracted hand through his hair. ‘I had no idea...’

‘Of course, you didn’t. Why would you? No one knew except Edward.’

‘Emily didn’t—’

‘No.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said when she didn’t say anything else. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

‘I’m not hurt.’ She tightened the fabric around her. ‘Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go to bed.’

She began to move past him, but his hand shot out before he was even conscious of it doing so, his fingers closing around her arm, her skin warm and silky beneath his fingertips. She stopped in her tracks, looking straight ahead. ‘Sebastián, I don’t—’

‘We need to talk about what just happened,’ he said shortly, because now he was starting to think straight again, they really did. He could, of course, pretend that this had never occurred. Simply ignore it and continue on with their lives, and yet how could they do that when they still had Diego to negotiate?

Her head turned, her dark gaze unreadable. ‘Do we? It was a mistake, I think we can both agree, so what more needs to be said?’

‘Was it really a mistake to you?’ He shouldn’t be asking her this, especially when he agreed. But he couldn’t stop himself. Couldn’t stop his fingers from tightening on her arm, because touching her bare skin was something he’d never get enough of.

She didn’t look away, and he could see the embers of the heat between them, still smouldering, ready to burst into flame at any moment. But also hurt and regret and a thousand other things he couldn’t interpret.

He felt the same way. It was so complicated, and he knew he shouldn’t be pushing her, that it was dangerous. That if he wasn’t careful and pushed too hard, he’d lose control of himself a second time and they’d end up where they had been not five minutes earlier. Naked on the floor. And that wouldn’t solve anything.

‘I...’ She stopped then took a breath. ‘Of course, it was a mistake. How could it be anything else? It was the grief talking, that’s all, and it shouldn’t have happened.’

But it wasn’t the grief, or maybe not only the grief. It had been more than that. When he’d looked down into her eyes as he’d been deep inside her, he’d seen the wonder there, glowing bright.

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