Page 79 of Forbidden Mistress

I rub my forehead when a sudden throbbing starts at my temples. I’ve been weak for days, and the sudden rush of sugar has probably brought on the headache. I’m so tired, and I feel so hollow inside. I’d cry again if I had any more tears left.

What a mess.

What a fucking mess he’s gotten us into—and all because he claims to be in love with me. And if I’m being honest with myself, I think I’ve been in love with him, too. But I didn’t dare examine that feeling until this moment.

I fall back on the mattress with a loud sigh. It’s too much. And it’s too complicated. And I just don’t have the energy to deal with this right now.

“Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

“I need to be alone. I need time to think.”

“Cass, please. I’m begging you for another chance.”

The irony. Liam Force doesn’t beg for anything.

“Another chance for what? I don’t think I could escape you now, even if I wanted to. We share Lori, and now, we share a child. I acknowledge that you have rights, as the father.”

He stands and approaches the bed, then reaches out to stroke my cheek with his thumb. “And us? What about—” He cuts himself off when I shrink away from his touch and plaster myself against the wall.

Slowly, he lets his hand drop to his side. Silence. When he speaks again, it’s in a low, hoarse voice. “I’m not sure what I can ever do to make this up to you. But until I broke that promise to Dad and told you everything, I’ve been a man of my word. And I will be. I’ll take care of you and the baby. For the rest of your lives, you’ll want for nothing. You’ll have everything you ever need.”

“And if I need you to back off and stay away?”

A deep, shaky sigh. “I’ll give you that, too.”

Not another word is said between us, and when he turns to go to the door, I feel the heartache split my chest like a physical blow. Tears immediately spring to my eyes, and any words I might say choke in my throat.

Then he’s gone.

And I’m here, in the dark. Alone.

I close my eyes and remember Willow’s words at the club. He’ll never be satisfied because he can never have what he really wants. Her. She’s the ghost that will haunt every relationship he has.

When he took Willow as his sub, he asked her to dress like me and wear a wig to match my hair. A full year before I ever showed up there. He told her about me…

He even told me about me. There’s a woman I’ve loved all my life, and recently, I’ve come to the realization that I’ll never truly have her.

I suck in my breath, remembering how I treated him then, as Liam. I’d made my feelings crystal clear, and he’d known then that I hated him. Or that I told myself to hate him…We’ll never have a future together, and I’m trying to come to grips with that.

Even then, when he was with me as Hart, he knew that it could only be temporary. But the pain in his voice when he’d told me about her. That was real.

There’s a part of me she can’t accept. That she’ll never be able to accept.

I search my memories for other incidents in our past that are suddenly so clear now, in light of what he’s told me.

I wanted to think the worst of him. I wanted to hate him. Because hating him was so much easier than the alternative. So much easier than realizing that I loved him and that no other man would ever compare.

Fuck.

Seconds later, before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m out of bed. The head-rush takes a moment to get over, but I make it to the doorway on relatively steady legs.

The hallway light is on, and I’m at the top of the stairs, vowing to take them slowly. Haley’s standing at the bottom of the stairs talking in a low voice to Sam, and they’re giggling. They stop and stare, wide-eyed when they notice me.

“Is he gone?” I ask shakily.

“Your brother? Yeah, he just took off without even saying goodbye. He looked upset. I’m guessing he’s going to go find Hart and beat the shit out of him for you?”

My stomach does a nosedive. Ugh. No need to give them all the sordid details now. I don’t even think I could if I wanted to.

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