Page 86 of Love Thief

She takes careful measurements, and then says, “You’re far enough along, do you want to know the sex?”

I look at Jude, and he raises his eyebrows at me. “I don’t know. I, I… Can I think for a minute? Do you know it for both of them?”

“Yes,” she says, “as look here. They are twins, obviously, but this tells me we have two separate sacks.” She’s pointing at a grey mass on the screen and smiling at me. “This, I believe, is one placenta, which means they’re identical twins, so they’re the same sex.”

I lay back, resting my head on the pillows. Identical twins. Oh God. He’s going to freak out. Even Jude looks shocked. Twins, exactly the same. He looks at the screen as we listen to the heartbeats.

I make my decision and smile at them. “Yes, I’d like to know the sex. Jude, if you don’t, you can go outside for a minute.”

He shakes his head. “No way. If you’re staying to know, I am.” He takes my hand. “Twins, Evie,” he says with reverence.

“It’s boys,” Dr. Theodore says. “Identical twin boys. I can also tell you that you’re fifteen weeks pregnant.”

Fifteen weeks! I’ve been doing all sorts of reckless shit—mad motorbike dashes, drinking a bit, well a lot at times, wild, wild sex.

“I’ve had a drink of alcohol. Can you check if they're okay?” I say, totally panicking.

“They look perfect for the dates. It was sometime in March, by your dates and the scan.”

France again!

“In fact, they are a very healthy size. Now, with twins, you can deliver anytime from thirty-two weeks; the norm is around thirty-seven weeks. But babies come when they’re ready. We can discuss options over the next few weeks. Most people deliver in hospital and a C-section is quite common, so don’t worry too much about that. Due date at thirty-seven weeks is around the sixth of December, if you get that far,” she says, checking the calendar on the wall.

“James, my oldest son was born on the second of December,” I tell her, which obviously makes no difference to these two at all.

“Winter babies,” she says and smiles.

Twins, boys, fifteen weeks, sixth December. “Doctor, my husband has been married before and his wife had four other pregnancies, and they all miscarried at or before sixteen weeks. Do you think…” I tail off as I look at her and the screen, which is now printing pictures.

“Well, we can never guarantee anything, but as it stands at the moment, there do not appear to be any issues.”

“I know the exact date of conception. Would that help?”

“You do?”

I nod. “Twenty-second of March. I didn’t see him again for another four weeks after that, and, to be honest, didn’t have sex again for a further few weeks until I had to marry him. And then again in Vegas, which was not until May, so it had to be then.”

Dr. Theodore looks at the calendar. “Well, as we’re here,” she points at the current date in July, “you’re nearly sixteen weeks on Wednesday. Maybe not tell him until after that date. It may be helpful for him. I take it he didn’t want further family, due to his previous history?”

“Yes. He wanted no more attempts at children. He’s terrified of the phone call that says it’s another miscarriage. He says he died a bit each time.” I’m babbling like a brook now and Jude looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes.

When he opens them, he leans down and kisses me. “It’ll be fine, sis. He’ll be fine. We’ll put him off until the end of the week. We can say we’ve gone on a buying trip, he won’t come for you then. Tell him when you’re seventeen weeks.”

I shake my head, tears starting again. “I don’t think it’ll matter. I think he’ll be worse, more terrified of the hope.” I try to not get fully sobbing again.

Dr. Theodore stands and says, “We’ll get you back into your clothes. We’ve done pictures for you, and I want to see you again in three weeks. Stay as long as you want, no need to rush around. There’s a very lovely tea spot upstairs, very private, go up and grab drinks, take your time.” She smiles and leaves her assistant to help get me dressed and give me leaflets and particularly about twins.

I come out to find Tommy pale, but smiling, and Jude just pale. “Let’s go for that drink, tea all-round Brown.” He takes my hand and Tommy gets close behind me as we go and sit in the tea shop.

The silence is deafening as we all start to come to terms with the news. “I didn’t know about the babies,” Jude says eventually. “I knew about the marriage of course, the babies must have been kept quiet.”

“I think the first one was only just as he was up and coming. The other three, well publicised. But each time they were hit with it, it contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. The divorce was acrimonious due to Kell’s attempts to numb out life with drink, drugs, and women. Then the ex wife killed herself. The despair, the emotional turmoil, it was all over the press. The family blamed him, he blamed himself. But he was dying, trying to kill himself I think. He said after that, no more children, ever. Then I turn up with James, you can imagine.” I look at Jude. “He told James and I about the other children, how he felt. He’s going to go—god I don’t know. But it’ll be bad. He might even leave.” I pause for breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“I don’t know if I can do it again? Can you, Jude? Do you want to? You’ve got other things outside of me, outside of the family.” I mean Isobel, and he knows it, but I can hardly bring myself to say her name.

My heart rate has kicked up and I’m practically panting. Jude touches my hands as Tommy starts to pat my shoulder, and I blow out a breath trying to calm myself down. It will do these two no good. I need to think of them now, not just me or Kell. “I don’t want you to see me as a burden,” I finally blab out, my brain finally coming back on-line.

“Listen, stop, just stop,” Jude says, hanging onto my hands. “We’ll sort it. You’re not on your own, not ever. Right, Tommy?”

---