Page 18 of Love Thief

“Now, now, midarlin’, you know I’d never tell you not to live with me. I just didn’t want you to feel obliged to stay. I can see how it is with Russell. He’s a man who lives on his own terms, he doesn’t bow to anyone or bend what he wants. I know where James gets it from now.” With a big, slow, genuine smile he puts his arms around my shoulders as we walk on, giving me comfort and calm.

“That house told me it loved me from the off, straight away, no messing. It told me. None have ever done that before. Please don’t make me leave, or choose.” I burst into tears and collapse onto Marshall. “I choose you and it always, always.”

I know I’m over the top, but the last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions. What with the marriage of convenience turning into a magical mystery tour. Kell telling me he loves me, and apologising for France. I need my anchor. Marshall can’t weigh anchor at this point. I need him.

“I love you, midarlin’, always have. Don’t cry, it’ll sort itself out.”

I’m not sure what ‘it’ is, but I let him hug me close. I can smell the horses on him, and I relax fully for the first time in two days.

We carry on walking to the beach, and as I recover my equilibrium, I tell him I want to renovate the coach house. And maybe we should resurrect the racing licence and get a young trainer in, let them use the yard for a really low rent to get them going. I want a woman, someone young and dynamic, who can live in the newly refurbished flat above the stables. We have accommodations for a few stable hands. I want the old coach house for maybe a gin distillery as it’s on the other side of the property than the racing yard.

By the time we reach the sea, I feel a lot better and have my plans and schedule sorted in my head. Kellen will take up time, but I would use the down time to look into distilling gin. Marshall says he’ll speak to his family in the whiskey business, and he feels his niece may come over and help.

We sit together on the headland. We’d set a bench at the perfect spot to look out over the bay and Cornhill beach below. The late May sunshine is warm on my skin, but there’s still a bit of a nip in the air. Marshall's steady chat about the horses, and Pinky’s antics, calms my jagged edges. I shiver as the temperature starts to go down.

“Never cast a clout until May is out,” I say in a broad Yorkshire accent, smiling at him. “Have we got to walk back?” The sun is still a little high in the sky but is going down rapidly, and it’s about an hour's walk back.

“No, I’ll phone for someone to come get us on a quad or two.”

About twenty minutes later, we hear the distinct sound of the quads and turn to see Xander on one and Gerald, Marshall's right hand man on the farm, on the other.

“Your chariot awaits, madam,” Xan says, bowing to me.

“Can we stay for a bit, Xan? I want to watch the sun set.”

“Of course.” He hops off, coming to sit with me on the bench.

Marshall kisses me on the head. “See you back at home, midarlin’, no rush.”

Xan and I sit for a long time, not saying anything.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong? I can see you’ve been crying.” He picks my hand up and threads his fingers through mine.

I give him a shake of my head. I’ll cry again if I’m not careful. What the hell is wrong with me? “Marshall just said something and I got a bit emotional about it, but it’s just me being dramatic as usual.”

“You are the least dramatic person I know. Theatrical yes, dramatic no.”

“You’re only saying that ‘cos you are THE most dramatic person I know.” I point to myself and then him and smile.

“We’ve had a weird six months. I feel like you’ve never been away. Like you were always there somewhere, we just couldn’t see you or talk to you all these years, but you never left us, not really. He looked for you, you know. So did I. I never told him, but I did. You could have sorted him out sooner. And me. Unravelled the mess we were both in.” He smiles at me and hugs me to him. He’s so warm, his scent as calming as Marshall’s.

I put my head on his shoulder and he goes on, his voice deep, melodic, calm. “Can you remember those days when Kell had to go to family functions and I never went with him. I loved those days. I got you all to myself. We used to read. It was the only time I ever did any schoolwork.” I feel him grin. “If it wasn’t for you, I would never have passed a thing. You used to force me to read those school texts and you’d get up and go through soliloquies with me, doing the parts. I can recall them even now.” He smiles, gazing down at me as I turn to watch his sky blue eyes lighting up.

“Are you happy, Xan? Do you have someone special you talk to other than Kellen?”

“Why do I need someone else? I have Gabe and Levi, they’re good guys, understand the issues we have, but yes I’m happy at the moment. Very, in fact.”

He touches my hair as it blows in the wind. My whole being is filled with tenderness towards him. I’m desperate for him to be happy.

We stand on the headland and watch the last of the sun go beyond the horizon. “It’s an amazing place you have here,” he says quietly.

“You’re welcome here anytime, with or without me or Kellen. And stay for however long you want. I like you here.” When I put my arm around his waist and hold on, he kisses my head. I can feel the love flowing out of him. He was always the more emotional of the two of them, more open.

“Let’s get back. I’ll drive slow, unless you want to drive. You probably know the way back better than me.”

“Yes, I’ll drive, it's tricky in the dark.”

He turns, pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around my waist. As he smiles into my eyes, he takes my hand and gently tugs me towards the quad. I laugh as he twirls me around, as if we’re dancing and he’s delivering me to a carriage. I let his hand go and swing my leg over the front.

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