Page 43 of Doctor Daddy Dilemma

She looked confused when I pulled it out, but she nodded. I stood, carrying it, and walked to the other end of the couch so we were now sitting only a few feet apart. I set the laptop on the end of the table and opened it, unlocking it with my thumbprint. The screen flashed to life and I navigated through the files, one by one showing her the invoices for appointments now correlated with the images paparazzi said were times I was with another woman.

Charlie seemed to continue to wilt more and more, shrinking into herself, until I pulled up the video of the day we were supposed to be on my yacht. She gritted her teeth when the image of me in Myra’s car came up. Then she looked away and I saw tears brimming in her eyes.

“Please, don’t look away. Please let me show you.” I reached up and put one finger under her chin and gently turned her head back. “Look here…” I zoomed in on the photo, taken only moments before Myra started driving. My car was there too, on the side of the road with a flat tire, just as it had actually occurred. “My phone was dead from a long day of using it to plan an incredible evening for you. I had no charger with me. My tire went flat and I was stranded. And Myra was there to give me a lift.”

She blinked and the tears cascaded down her cheeks and she covered her face with her hands. “My God, Lex, I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry.” She could barely get the words out between sobs as the truth washed over her, and I felt horrible for being the one to make her feel this pain—like a doctor who has to rebreak a bone that is set wrong. It wasn’t a good feeling at all. It ripped my heart out.

I slid off the couch and knelt in front of her, wedging myself between her knees until it forced her to look at me and put her hands down. Then I reached up and brushed away the tears on her cheeks and looked her in the eye, no anger or malice in my expression at all.

“I never once lied to you, Charlie. You were my everything. I never even so much as looked at another woman. You were the one I wanted. I had a ring, and a plan, and I wanted to propose to you.” Maybe it was a mistake to say that to her because she only cried harder, even when I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her face in my chest.

“Oh my God, Lex. I’m such an idiot. I was so insecure. I had no idea. I just?—”

“Baby, please.” I rubbed her back and held her firmly to my body. None of this apology was necessary. Not a single word. She’d done what she did because of fear and pain, and I knew firsthand how much those two emotions pushed a person to do something even when they hated themselves for doing it.

I put a hand on each side of her head and forced her to look up at me. Then I spoke sternly to her, but with love.

“Now listen to me. My love for you has never changed, never wavered a single bit. I didn’t understand what you did or why you did it, and I was angry and hurt and did stupid foolish things that almost cost me my life. But in the end, I still love you as much as I’ve ever loved you. And we have a future together if you want it.”

Charlie’s eyes misted again and her eyebrows drew together in the center. Her tongue flicked over her lips but I didn’t let her say a word.

“We can’t move forward with our future if you’re stuck in the past in any way. The guilty conscience has to go. The doubt, the fear, beating yourself up, and especially—most definitely—every secret. So, I’m going to start the confessions now.” I kissed her forehead and braced myself for what she might say. “I am an alcoholic. I didn’t know how to deal with what happened or how abruptly you left, and I drank myself into a place where I almost died. I had a heart attack. I have two stents in my heart and I am struggling to stay sober.”

“My God, Lex, I’m so sorry.”

“Ah!” I grunted, “No more apologies. Just honesty.”

Still crying, she nodded at me and sniffled. “I have a son—we have a son. His name is Sebastian Alexander Hartman and he is the most amazing and incredible boy you’ll ever meet. He is so perfect and so sweet, and he looks exactly like you.”

I could barely make out what she was saying but I didn’t care. I’d hear it a million times if I asked her and it brought tears to my eyes. So much so that the only response I had for her was to kiss her, again and again until she was breathless and we were one again, well and truly one.

33

CHARLIE

This day had been such a yo-yo. I’d been back and forth on what I felt or what to think, and when I got on this boat thinking I was going to be in a fight just to maintain custody of my son, I had an edge about me. Lex had systematically disarmed me while peeling back the layers of my pain; all while managing to not make me feel like any of this was my fault. Though I understood it was.

“I don’t understand. I thought you were upset with me? I thought…” I pressed gently on Lex’s chest and he backed away, though he did stay on his knees in front of me. Hearing him confess that he was going to propose that night broke me so completely I couldn’t stop crying now.

“Anger is just a mask we put on to cover other emotions. I was hurt. I was scared. I was insecure, and I didn’t understand. But when I began to understand then I began to realize you never meant to hurt me. Not even with that article you wrote.” He used his thumbs to wipe away my tears but they kept coming. I didn’t know how to turn them off. It was a mixture of sadness over what had happened and joy that he was acting so differently than I thought he would.

“You have to realize I never meant to hurt you. I was confused and hurting myself, and I did what I thought I had to do to save my job but it was too late, and?—”

Lex’s lips covered mine in a deep kiss and I whimpered as I accepted it. Nothing felt certain to me except the reality of his touch. That alone anchored me to the present, but when he pulled away my mind started racing again. Too much time had passed; we’d been separated for so long. What if it wasn’t the same? What if he didn’t want me the same way? What if this was just a physical attraction but the deeper things were actually gone?

This time I held a finger to his lips and made him pause. He continued to push away my tears and curl strands of hair around my ears. I needed a moment to think but the overwhelming intrusive thoughts kept coming. What if he wasn’t sure about me, but in his desperation to make this all make sense, he was just relying on the desire he had for me to bridge that gap? How could I just jump back into this? Sure he hadn’t cheated on me—I believed that now—but did I believe he was actually willing to overlook all of the things I’d done? Just take me back without blinking?

“We have so much to talk about, Lex. Maybe we should go slower.” I didn’t specifically mean no sex, but I did mean we had conversations that had to happen.

“We will go at whatever pace you need, Charlie. I’m not going anywhere.” He pressed his forehead to mine and sighed. Then his hands slid down over my arms and lower, coming to rest on my hips. My eyes roamed over his chest and down to his crotch where a distinct bulge revealed his desire for me. It matched the moisture I felt pooling at my core.

I said nothing because I didn’t know what to say. But Lex seemed to know exactly what to say.

“I can’t wait to meet him. From what you say, he sounds perfect.”

My heart warmed as he brought up our little boy, though I still felt apprehensive. This was all so sudden and even though I didn’t mind change, sudden change was always jarring or even traumatic. I wanted this transition to be smoother than the last one. If, that is, we actually decided we had something to transition to.

“He is. He’s so smart and funny. He has a temper like his daddy though.”

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