Page 36 of Doctor Daddy Dilemma

I hadn’t communicated with Lex. I had run. I hadn’t even given him a chance to be open and explain; I ghosted him. I never understood or trusted him, and I was never willing to compromise anything. My knee-jerk reaction was to run instead of to absorb what was happening and thoughtfully respond to it with my truth.

Tears threatened to well up, but I blinked them back as the audience exploded into applause. It was clear to me that they were eating all of this up and it was benefiting them greatly. If only I had heard these things before I met Lex. Before my heart was trashed, before I got pregnant and ran away. There was no path back to that now. Only a path forward, but that meant trying to fix the parts of me that did it wrong the first time so I didn’t repeat my mistake.

I knew now it was all my fault, not Lex’s. My isolation was squarely on my shoulders. He might have done things wrong, but I never took the time to listen to his side or let him apologize if necessary. In fact, everything was still just circumstantial. I had no more proof now than I had then, and it was limited to what snooping paparazzi had published on a trashy website.

“Thank you, Doctor, for taking time to share your thoughts.” I turned toward the live-viewing audience and continued, “You can purchase Dr. Slater’s book, The Five Pillars of Relationship Success at your local bookstore today. Jim back to you in the newsroom for a quick update.”

The minute the broadcast was over I stood and shook Dr. Slater’s hand and thanked him again, and then I was done. I whipped around and darted off the set, just wanting to get to my dressing room and my son as quickly as possible, before the tears started to flow. I wasn’t thinking straight, not even when the director called my name. I ignored him pretending I hadn’t heard, and continued walking, banking around one of the cameras. I slammed into someone’s chest so hard I fell backward and he caught me.

“God I’m so sor?—”

My words were stolen right out of my mouth by such shock I thought I’d pass out. Alexander Hartman stood in front of me with his arm wrapped around my waist keeping me from toppling backward to the ground. His intense stare bored a hole right through me, keeping me speechless. He looked tired, ragged even, as if he were strung out or sick. But his eyes were soft and filled with pain. This wasn’t the man I left; he wasn’t full of zeal and joy. He was hurting.

“Charlie…”

“Lex, I…” I glanced around after getting my feet underneath me and saw that two of the cameramen were focused on me with one camera rolling. The director was there too with a smirk on his face, and behind him I saw the glare of the producer, whose eyes were also locked on the action.

“I need to speak to you. I had no idea you were hosting this show and I’m just here on a short trip to relax and?—”

“Not here,” I blurted out, grabbing his hand. The string of garbled explanations he was giving me didn’t need to be recorded on camera to later be played on some gossip show. I moved quickly, practically dragging him behind me as I moved through the crowd of people between me and my dressing room, praying he hadn’t gone past the plate-glass windows of the nursery and seen Sebastian.

As soon as we were in my dressing room I shut and locked the door and reeled around in an almost panic to ask him, “What are you doing here? How did you find me?” I knew this moment would come—him hiring a private investigator to search for me. I just thought I’d have time. I thought it would be later when Bash was older. I wasn’t ready for this. My heart was raw and on fire because of the taping and Amy’s info about him moving on. How on earth was I supposed to deal with this?

“Charlie, I just took a trip. I was in my hotel. I saw you on the TV.” Lex reached for me and I backed away, still frightened of this whole thing and now feeling such overwhelming guilt I started blurting out apologies like they were free bubble gum on Halloween.

“God, I’m so sorry, Lex. I never should have—” I stumbled over my sneaker, left lying on the floor when I changed into my suit for taping. “I just mean I…” Kicking the shoe out of my way I looked back up at him and took another step away from him as I tried to collect my thoughts, but he kept moving toward me. His eyes locked on mine and didn’t let up.

“I’m…I…I never meant to hurt you. You have to understand that. I just thought…” I backed into the vanity where I normally sat to apply makeup. “Please, you have to understand…”

“Charlie, I’m not angry with you.” He reached up and cupped my cheek and I froze. “My God you’re still just as beautiful as the day I met you.” Inching closer, he leaned in. I felt paralyzed. I didn’t know what was happening or what I even wanted to happen.

“Lex…” All I could think about was the secret I kept, the pain I caused him. Confusion had a vise grip on my head, making coherent thought impossible. I missed him so desperately and my soul screamed for him to hold me so tightly I never felt the separation again. But I had spent the past two years convincing myself I hated him. My heart warred with my mind. But all of that was silenced the second his lips brushed mine. Warmth flooded me and I couldn’t breathe.

“I am in love with you, Charlotte Martinez, host of Wake Up California and I have been for the past two years. Every day, every night, every breath… I’ve been wishing I could have told you that for so long.”

My heart exploded and tears welled up in my eyes, but I barely had time to react. He kissed me again and I whimpered into his mouth, but I clung to him. My God did I cling to him. His hands searched my body as I tangled my fingers in his hair, letting him dive into my empty soul and fill it up with his searching kiss.

“I miss you so bad,” he breathed between kisses, even as his hands began to inch my skirt higher.

“Oh God, Lex,” I cried, kissing him back, this time harder. What did I even say to him? How could I tell him any of the truth without telling him the whole truth? I just knew I didn’t want him to stop kissing me. This was the most whole I’d felt since the minute I boarded that plane to leave Tampa.

Lex’s advances grew hungry and greedy. He pinned me harder against the vanity and pawed at my clothing until my jacket was in a heap on the floor, and I returned the favor, opening his fly and leaving the belt dangling on either side of his hips.

“Say you missed me, Charlie,” he urged, finishing the task of hiking my skirt up. The bulge in his pants pressed against my mound as he ground his hips against me.

“Oh God, Lex, I missed you so bad.” Still in tears, I helped him free his dick from the fabric tangled around it and kept his girth firmly in my grip as I stroked. He slid a finger into each side of my panties and pushed them lower until they slid to my ankles.

“I need this so bad. I need you so bad. I need us so terribly bad, Charlie.”

I couldn’t have agreed more. This was long overdue, and I had no clue if it would ever work out. Even if this was only for closure and he hated me the instant he learned about Sebastian, I knew this was what my soul had been craving. Not having him, not having this connection with him was the reason my heart was so dead inside.

“Please…Lex,” I pleaded, and he dipped his hips.

Oh God, please don’t let him hate me when he finds out…

28

LEX

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