Page 28 of Doctor Daddy Dilemma

I’d been over it a million times in my head, how much he’d be hurt by my secret, how maybe having a child was the thing he needed to help him wake up and grow up. But if I went back, if I told him about the baby, my heart would be delivered to him on a silver platter to be sliced and served. I knew it was selfish of me, but I just couldn’t go through that. I loved him so much, I was willing to overlook things my gut told me were true that I didn’t want to believe. I’d never trust him again.

One day when the baby was older, I would take him to Miami to meet his father. I’d deal with the fallout then, when my heart was healed and any trace of my affection for Lex was gone. Then I could be levelheaded about it and not end up being sucked back into the vortex of that charm and charisma.

“Charlie…”

I looked up when Mom said my name and realized I had missed everything my dad had said. “What?”

“Dad asked if you want him to fly with you to do the audition.” Mom’s tone was one of concern. She touched my hand and furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you feeling okay? Should we go inside?”

I sighed and waved off her concern. “I’m fine, Mom. It’s not too hot out here. I was just thinking of this job.” The phone screen had gone dim and locked, but I continued to stare at it. “I’m just not cut out for television. Dad, I’m almost five months pregnant. No one is going to hire me when they know I will have to take a month or more off for maternity leave.”

Dad shrugged and took his phone back and said, “You never know if you don’t try.”

I pushed away from the table and stood, not that I agreed with my mother that it was too hot for me, but I just wanted to put space between me and this conversation with my parents. I loved that they were being helpful, but auditioning for a slot on a live TV show wasn’t really my scene. I had to find a writing job, and lately the more I searched the more I hoped it would be fully remote, so I could stay near my parents’ house and help them as they got older.

“I’m going to go call Amy. It’s been a while since we talked and I want to fill her in.” Mom and Dad knew all about my best friend from Tampa. She’d even come to visit once for a long weekend when she was doing an article and had to visit Juarez. We had a great time and she hit it off with my folks, then I’d promised to visit her soon. That was over a month ago and as far as I was concerned, it would be a while before I went back to Florida for anything.

“Tell her we say hi. And tell her about the job. See what she thinks.” Dad winked at me and I responded with a smile but no words. Being eternally happy was a challenge at times.

Inside, I found my phone and curled up on my bed to call my friend. I’d like to have said nothing had changed in my room since I moved out, but the instant I left this house my parents consumed the extra space. Dad used half the room for his idea of a man cave, complete with a recliner, a television, and a spot to smoke his cigars—the faint lingering scent was enough to nauseate me at times. Mom used the other half of the room for a place to do her scrapbooking and picture collages. The remnants of both things had been shoved into the closet or relegated to shelves in the garage when they were forced to bring my bed back from storage.

Even now the inconvenience I’d placed upon their shoulders weighed on me. I did need a job, even if that job was only temporary and I found something more permanent later. I couldn’t keep imposing on my parents like this.

I dialed Amy’s number before I realized she was probably still at work, but she answered anyway, and the din of newsroom chatter behind her made me frown.

“Hey, Chuck!” She sounded enthusiastic and excited to speak with me, using the nickname my father used for me when I was a child.

“Hey, Ames. How are you doing?” I felt bad taking up her work time, but she probably didn’t mind the distraction. Working there was sometimes boring and monotonous and we always relished little blips of excitement in our workdays.

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old. How’s life? How’s baby?” The hum of background noise quieted and I pictured her walking into the breakroom or toilets to take the personal call, as we usually did, so that Mr. James didn’t lecture her about workplace propriety.

“Honestly, the same. I’m not as sick anymore, but now I have an oversized gut.” I chuckled and rolled to my back. “I actually wanted your opinion and to ask a favor.”

I trusted my own intuition and judgment but sometimes it just paid to have a second opinion that wasn’t my parents. Not that I didn’t trust them, but they had stock in the game too. I was sure they wanted their combined craft room/man cave back.

“Of course, you know my opinion is always free, but a favor will cost you. I want you to come hang out with me before it’s not beach weather anymore.”

Amy was the weirdest Floridian I’d ever met. Most of them hated the outdoors until November when things cooled off. She was polar opposite, loving the heat and sunshine every day through the warmest months.

“Well, my dad saw this thing for open auditions for a talk show. I’m having zero luck with finding a job elsewhere, so I wondered what you thought about?—”

“Do it.” She blurted out, interrupting me. “Just go do it. You have nothing to lose. You’re cute and well-spoken. You have the bubbly personality for it. They will love you.”

The more she complimented me the harder I bit my lip. “Honestly though? You don’t think they’ll shy away because I’m pregnant and I’ll need maternity leave?” It seemed like a long shot to me. If I were hiring a woman I would look at it as a liability.

“Do it, Charlie. You’ll regret it if you don’t do it. Besides, what’s the worst that can happen? They say no?”

I sighed and rolled back to my side and stared at the bare nightstand. I wondered what Lex would think, if he’d believe in me too, tell me I had a shot. But I quickly pushed that thought away and thanked Amy for being encouraging.

“I might just do that. Thanks… Now the favor…” I smiled. “I want to use you as a reference.”

We talked for another twenty minutes about the possibility of me getting such a huge job and what it would mean for me. I’d have to move to California, which wasn’t a horrible idea, but it would put a crimp in my travel budget for a while. The longer we talked, the more I warmed to the idea, and by the time we hung up, Amy had me convinced. I was going to really take a stab at it. Who knew, maybe this would be my chance to use my voice to speak for minorities like I’d always wanted.

I just hoped it didn’t end up putting a huge spotlight on my career and attract attention from the one person in the world I hoped never saw me again.

22

LEX

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