Page 42 of Doctor Daddy Dilemma

“Oh, he is such an angel. I can’t believe he is jabbering so much. You know he said basketball today? I mean of course it didn’t sound exactly like that, but it was so sweet.” I loved how she gushed over my little man, and it made me wish I was there with her.

“How did it go today? Did you get to talk to him?” Amy was the only one who knew of my plan to make an appointment for myself and force Lex to speak to me in the office. I knew how angry he was, and I figured it was the only way to make him stand still long enough to explain and apologize. It backfired. I forgot how much he hated his work day being interrupted.

“Honestly it was awful. He screamed at me and I stormed out. I’m at my hotel debating leaving town. I’m just so worried he’ll be upset and try to sue for custody. I handled this whole thing wrong.” I chewed on my bottom lip and realized how much I had changed.

Lex had stayed exactly the same—focused on work, grumpy, short-tempered, and busy. But I had become a worrier, fearing things, focusing on the negative, forcing myself to stay positive, but it never worked. Where was the Charlie Martinez who Lex had first met and fell in love with? Why couldn’t I find my sunshine anymore? Why was I so negative and fearful?

“Well, can you just go to his house?” Amy was the knock-down drag-out sort of girl. She’d charge right into his home and demand he listen to her, but I was just not like that. I didn’t have a problem being bold if I needed to be, but this was different. This was Lex. There were so many complex feelings involved. I loved him, but I hated him, but I wanted him, but I didn’t care if I ever saw him again in my life. And then there was Sebastian.

“Actually, he invited me to his yacht tonight via some strange delivery person or his driver or something. The guy just showed up at my hotel room with a note. So annoying.” Lex didn’t even have the nerve to come by himself to say what he wanted. It was like he was recreating that night when I was on that boat waiting for him and saw him with some other woman.

“Well, you know what to do. You have to go. Talk to him.” I heard a clunking noise and she gasped. “Uh, babe. Bash just spilled my plant. I have to run. I’ll be here for you if you decide to go! Bye.”

I sighed and looked down at my phone as the screen flashed from the call to the home screen when she hung up. She wasn’t much help. Of course she’d go. She had no stake in this game. She had nothing riding on it or threatening her. I, on the other hand, was desperate to make sure my son stayed my son. And part of me still thought having something with Lex wouldn’t be horrible. Especially after that moment in my dressing room. He still wanted me. I still wanted him.

I needed another perspective. I needed my parents. I just knew my dad would know how to cheer me up. Of course, Mom would tell me to come home and bring the baby. She would be more than happy to take me into her home and help me raise him, but I needed real wisdom. So, I dialed Dad’s number as the festering anger began to subside.

“Hey, Charlie. How are you doing? How is your trip going?” Dad was worried. I could hear it in his voice just like the day I went into labor with Sebastian and he hovered over me for hours. Except back then, when I thought I wasn’t really in labor and all his worrying was for nothing, now I knew the labor of the moment. My soul toiled and groaned in birthing pains, trying to deliver a decision my heart and mind could agree on.

“Daddy, I need your advice.” I explained what happened, the visit to Lex’s office, the way he reacted, and then the note with the invitation. I hoped that he would say the man was a monster, to go home. But I was wrong. Even my father agreed with Amy.

“Honey, you need to go.” He sighed and before he could continue I protested with my greatest fear.

“But what if he wants to take Bash? What if he sues for custody?” My bottom lip quivered and I bit it to stop the shaking. Admitting my fears aloud always made them seem more intense.

“Then we get a lawyer and fight. You are the child’s rightful mother and the only thing he’s ever known. No judge in the nation will take him fully away. Other than that, there is nothing else you can do. You made choices and those choices have consequences, but your mother and I will be here for you every step of the way.”

Great, now I was basically obligated to do this, and I had no one to go with me. Why? Why had I done this to myself?

32

LEX

Idid my homework. The instant she left the office I went straight to my computer. I saw my other patients, but between every appointment, I sat there pulling together the evidence for my acquittal and I would not take “guilty” as the verdict. I hadn’t done any of it to prove my innocence or to make her feel bad for accusing me or running off. On the contrary, I did it all to help her see that I had never lied to her; that I was exactly the man I told her I was, and that man had never changed. That I was still that man today, a man who despite how furious I was over her choice to run off and keep my son from me, still loved her very much.

When she stepped onto the deck of the yacht, I was shocked. The driver had called me to say she refused the ride, and I sat here feeling sorry for myself but I couldn’t leave. Not tonight. Not if there was even a breath of a chance that she’d show up. And even though the demons haunted me, tormenting me and telling me that she left me from this very spot, I stayed. When the alcohol called to me, I poured it all out into the bay. And when I finally gave up as the clock struck 9:00 p.m., I was certain she wasn’t coming so I sank onto the sofa to mourn.

But she was here, standing right in front of me, looking as stunning as ever, but acting very reserved. “Charlie…” I stood too, hovering by the sofa on the deck. I didn’t want to move toward her and startle her. I knew how I had acted the past two times seeing her, and I didn’t even stop to consider how that would make her feel.

“Lex,” she said curtly, but she stayed where she was. Her hands wrung in front of her, purse dangling from her shoulder. Her hair had been tied up in a messy bun, and the blouse and slacks she wore suited her, though they were more sophisticated than the way she used to dress. More expensive too by the looks of it.

“Uh… Would you like to sit?” I felt nervous, of course. Not the same nerves as that night two years ago when that ring—long since returned to the store—burned a hole in my pocket.

Charlie nodded and ducked her head, then walked toward me. I waited until she sat in the spot farthest away from me at the end of the coffee table before I sat back down. I had rehearsed this moment over and over in my head, hoping to implant some sort of serenity in my mind and thoughts, but it was pointless. My heart was pounding so hard, my hands shaking. I looked at my palm and turned my hand over, then clasped them together. It wasn’t good for my heart, but how was I supposed to get through this moment to the peace on the other side if I didn’t just charge ahead?

“I’m sorry?—”

“I wanted you to?—”

We both spoke at the same time and she stopped abruptly when I did. Her head dipped again, refusing to make eye contact. This wasn’t the same Charlie from the studio dressing room, nor was it the same woman who came to me in my office this morning. She was hurt and upset, and I wanted to reach through all that hurt and get to her to make this all make sense.

“When you left my office today, you said something that surprised me.” I paused hoping she’d look up at me, but she didn’t. So I continued. “You said you thought I was cheating… And I made some unfair assumptions of my own after you left. But what I’d like to do is hear you out. So tell me; what were you thinking? What happened?”

I had managed to deal with all my anger so far. I didn’t even want to broach the topic of our child until we’d gotten down to the brass tacks of what actually went wrong, why she ran off. This was something that meant so much more to me than she’d ever known. The reason why someone left; why I wasn’t good enough. I needed that closure in so many ways.

“I, uh…” She took a cleansing breath and looked up at me. “The tabloids all said you were a playboy. My boss said it; he tried to make me write it. There were photographs and articles, videos even. And then you left me in the middle of the night, and that night when you were late, and I was here waiting for you…” Her bottom lip trembled, and her eyes blinked hard and fast, as if she were holding back tears. I knew her heart was probably ready to explode. I was so impressed with how she controlled herself, yet another thing I loved about her.

“Charlie, can I show you something?” I asked her. All my time and effort today was about to pay off. I lifted the couch cushion and produced my laptop, stored there earlier when I didn’t know what to do with it. I needed it to be out of my sight when I was hurting and thinking she wasn’t coming.

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