Page 38 of Doctor Daddy Dilemma

Her voice became background noise as I focused on the picture pinned with a magnet to the vanity mirror behind her. It was Charlie, wearing a bright yellow sundress, holding a small child, a boy. A boy whose light brown hair and crystal blue eyes looked eerily like me as a child. A boy, who if I wasn’t mistaken was quite possibly just over a year old.

“What?” I mumbled, but I wasn’t asking her what she was saying. I was shocked. I reached for the image, plucked it off the mirror, and stared at it in horror as I realized this boy was the right age to be my boy—if she was pregnant when she left Miami and never told me.

“Lex, listen to me!” she snapped, but all I could do was look up at her in pain and stare.

It wasn’t a heart attack this time. It wasn’t high cholesterol and a blood clot, or drinking and withdrawal. This was my heart shattering to a million pieces and dying all over again. She had a baby and she never told me?

“Lex, please. Are you okay?”

“Is this your baby?” I asked her. Why I didn’t ask her if this was my baby, I had no clue. I’d regret that later.

“God, Lex. I can explain. Please. I just need to?—

“Answer me!” I shouted, so loud I feared the studio security guard would hear me and come running.

Charlie jumped, clutching a hand to her chest and one to her mouth. A sob escaped her and the tears that she’d been shedding since I first walked in here continued. She nodded at me and sent my world spinning again.

“My God…” I tossed the photo onto the vanity and turned around with my mind reeling. I was going to say something I regretted. I knew it. The anger that rose up was insatiable. It consumed me so much that I knew if I didn’t leave this place immediately, I would say something that hurt her so desperately I’d lose her forever.

No, I had to get away. I had to think.

I marched right out of her dressing room, ignoring her pleas for me to stay. I stormed through the studio, feeling the cameras bearing down on me. I walked out the front door into the warm sun, past shop after shop until I was blocks away and then I screamed. At the top of my lungs, from the bottom of my heart, with all the pain of two years of pent-up anger behind it.

And when I was done screaming, I got out my phone and booked a flight home. I wasn’t staying here. I needed space. I knew how to get ahold of her when I was calm, and this time I was the one to walk away without a word. Not to give her a taste of her own medicine—to protect her from me. From my temper and my anger, and to make sure I didn’t go on a bender.

It was the only way. I had no choice.

29

CHARLIE

Iwatched him storm out so angry he couldn’t speak to me, and I knew it was all my fault. I still had no way of knowing if he had really cheated on me or been a player to begin with, but I knew I had hurt him so deeply he was at a loss for words. I also knew his temper, and if I chased him down he would only say things that would hurt me and I’d end up snapping at him too, so I let him go. And I sank onto the chair at my vanity and cried.

A few minutes later there was a knock at my door, but I didn’t want to answer. I needed a second to collect myself before I went to get Sebastian, but whoever it was just opened the door and walked right in. I looked up and quickly wiped my tears away to see the nanny from today’s daycare shift holding Sebastian in her arms. He was sleeping peacefully and his diaper bag dangled from her wrist.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You were running late so I thought I’d just bring him here. He was the last child left.” Her half-grimace made me feel guilty. I was supposed to go pick him up as soon as the taping was over because the daycare service had other obligations in the studio grounds. I felt bad.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry.” I wiped my face again and stood up, walking over to take him from her arms. My little angel was so innocent and sweet when he slept. Just having him in my arms again made me feel better. Not that everything was okay; it was far from over, but I knew as long as I had him, I had everything I needed.

“Are you okay, Charlotte?” She sat the diaper bag down on the corner of my desk and looked at me with compassion. Her lower lip pushed out into a pout of sympathy but I waved my hand.

“Just hormones I think.” I lied to her but what else was I supposed to do? I wasn’t close with her. We were nothing more than coworkers that spoke about my child in passing when I dropped him off for her to watch. I couldn’t unload all this drama on her as if it were no big deal. It was a huge deal that would make waves on both coasts of this country because now Lex and I were both in the tabloids on a regular basis.

“You sure?”

“Positive,” I told her, faking a smile, but the instant she left, more tears came.

I sat in my desk chair and put Bash across my chest, resting his head on my shoulder as I rocked back and forth.

The look of shock and hurt in Lex’s eyes sliced through my heart. It didn’t matter what he did or how bad it hurt me; I was wrong for keeping his child a secret. I knew that now. There was something so inexcusable about it that the instant he found out, it tore my heart in two and I knew how he felt. As I rocked our little boy and cried, my sense of self-loathing grew.

I was known for always being cheerful and happy. I kept a positive outlook and never let anything get me down. But suddenly I found myself feeling very hopeless and out of touch. I couldn’t find my anchor or the path back to positivity. It was as if all of that was gone when I realized I had hurt someone so desperately they might never recover. It had been me who had been wrong; I was the villain.

Again, someone knocked on the door, and I already knew who it was. The producer, Mr. Lewis. He had a unique knock pattern, which on most occasions made my spirits lift the instant I heard it. Outside of being the best boss I’d ever had, he was an extremely decent human being. He had listened to my stresses more than once, though nothing quite so personal. I just wasn’t in the mood right now. But he opened the door and walked in anyway, just as the nanny had.

“Hey, Charlotte. Ms. Spencer told me you weren’t feeling so well…” He punctuated the sentence with raised eyebrows and waited in the doorway. I looked down and away, ashamed of myself for having such a public breakdown. I would have to walk out of this place with a red puffy face and everyone would know I was crying, even the cameramen who tried to catch my interaction with Lex on tape.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Lewis. I never meant to let my personal life get to me at work.” Using one arm to hold Bash in place on my chest, I used my opposite hand to wipe away my tears.

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