Page 38 of Royally Promoted

‘I feel like I’ve run a marathon.’

‘I’ve discovered that there are times when it’s very rewarding for someone else to take charge. You just proved that.’

Malik stared deep into her blue eyes in the darkness and something twisted inside him. What was she thinking? She talked the talk but could she really and truly walk the walk? She was deeply emotional and a romantic at heart and, while his head told him that they had both entered into this with their eyes wide open, his heart was struggling to follow suit.

‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he said gruffly.

Lucy shrugged but there was a sadness in her expression that Malik couldn’t quantify.

‘It’s just that it’s...complicated: my life...my choices... You know how it is for me.’

‘That’s fine.’

‘It’s far from fine if I hurt you.’

‘You should stop banging on about that. You should stop treating me as though I’m breakable, like a piece of china. You could never hurt me. I could only be hurt if I was in love with you, and I’m not in love with you, and I never could be.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It doesn’t matter, Malik. I should head back to my bedroom. We marathon runners need our beauty sleep.’

‘Stay with me tonight.’

He meant it. Never had he issued that invitation to any woman but he meant this. He wanted to share his bed with her for the night; wanted to reach out and feel her soft, sexy body as he slept; wanted to open his eyes to her sweetly pretty face in the morning.

Wanted the sadness on her face to go away.

‘Talk to me, Lucy. You were hurt in the past. Talk to me about it...tell me...’

Lucy pulled away to stare up at the ceiling. Her eyes had become accustomed to the darkness and moonlight picked up the dark, circular shapes of the concealed spotlights, the shadow of the enormous tapestry that hung on one wall and the scattering of their clothes on the ground.

Was this where she had ever planned to end up—in bed with a guy because she’d been overcome with lust? Colin had changed the direction of her life and her heart. She had turned her back on anything she felt wasn’t safe, and yet Malik couldn’t be more unsafe.

Still, she wanted this so badly. She thought about her friend Helen, who had felt so protected against falling in love with her boss, and yet she had fallen in love with him. She wasn’t going to be the same, was she? She was protected against that because of her past, wasn’t she? She’d learned lessons.

That was what she told herself as she continued to stare at the ceiling. She reminded herself that she had volunteered for this. She’d wanted it.

But her thoughts were all of a jumble as the silence lengthened between them until he eventually said, ‘I would never want to hurt you. You tell me I can’t because there’s no love between us, and I get that, but you’re lying there and you’re hurting all the same. For me, nothing about this feels sordid. It’s not a case of picking you up and putting you down. Does this feel sordid for you? Do you feel used? For me, what we just shared felt...damn near beautiful, if you want the truth.’

‘You’re just saying that.’ But she turned a little to look at him and her heart lifted a bit. She wanted to smile and nestle close to him. ‘And, no, I don’t feel used. Not at all.’

‘Tell me who hurt you.’

‘I never said anyone did. It’s just that... I want love and marriage and kids, and all that stuff, and I could never, ever fall for someone who wasn’t interested in any of that. Or, rather, someone who might be interested in all that but only if he can oversee the process and control it.’

‘Marriage and children... I admit they form part of the plan, but love? No. That’s a complication that doesn’t feature on the menu.’

‘Why not?’

‘Maybe,’ Malik murmured huskily, ‘we all absorb what we’ve grown up with and a sense of duty and responsibility is what I’ve absorbed.’ He paused. ‘And that’s why I felt I had to warn you against expecting more than what’s on offer. You want love and you deserve it.’

‘And it’s important I make sure not to stupidly get tempted to look for it in your direction.’

‘I’m being honest.’

‘You’re right. You’re honest with me and that’s why I can’t feel used. We’re honest with each other. But you’re right about me being hurt in the past.’

Malik stilled and stopped stroking her, all his attention focused on her lovely, subdued yet defiant face upturned to him.

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