Page 7 of Followed By the CEO

Me: How did you guess?

Owen: Let’s see. You just did a bunch of shows in a row, and now you’re home on the sofa with Monster.

Me: You are scary.

Owen: Then stop sharing your location with me.

Me: Aww, you still check my location?

Owen: Not as often as I used to, but yeah.

Me: You’re the sweetest big brother.

Owen: I know.

I roll my eyes at my brother trying to be arrogant. He’s only like that with the women in our family because he loves to push our buttons. He has a lot less time to give us all shit now that he’s got Graham, a five-month-old baby that is the result of a very brief “situationship” with a woman who disappeared off the face of the earth.

Me: How’s Graham?

Owen: Angry.

Me: Oh, god. Well, stop pinching him.

Owen: Is that the secret to parenting?

Me: I’ve been told I have all the answers.

Owen: You know we were being sarcastic when we would tell you that.

By “we,” he means him and our two younger sisters, Summer and Harmony. The four of us are so close that our sarcasm often doesn’t make sense to anyone outside the family.

Me: Maybe Graham’s colicky. Is that the word? What does the doctor say?

Owen: The ‘doctor’ here says the baby could be teething and to put whiskey on his gums. So, no help there.

Me: You’re not supporting your case about Kentucky stereotypes, brother.

Owen: The good news is this quack doctor is about to retire, and we’re getting someone new. So there’s hope.

Me: As long as the baby’s eating and pooping and putting on weight, you’re doing great, Owen.

Owen: I’d be doing a lot better if I’d worn a condom.

At this, I wince. I feel bad for my brother, especially after everything that happened, which wasn’t entirely his fault. But the wound is fresh, and so is the baby. I haven’t even met my nephew yet—in fact, we all just learned about him a couple of months ago—but I know Owen will be a great father. I just wish that the baby’s mother had some scruples.

Me: What about Summer and Harmony?

Owen: They’re busy setting up the frozen yogurt shop; I don’t want to bother them. Mom’s already taking Graham a couple of days a week, so I can keep working, but I feel bad about cutting into her retirement. She’s supposed to be traveling, not raising a kid.

I hardly think Mom sees it that way. Owen’s still the golden child, and even more so now because he surprised Mom with a grandbaby.

Me: I can reschedule some shows and come help you.

Owen: Don’t do that. It’s not really that bad. You’re already coming out for Summer and Harmony’s grand opening and staying for a month. I can’t handle my sister losing income because of me.

Me: Ugh, don’t be such a martyr. FaceTime me right now.

Owen is too tired to resist when I boss him around. Within a few seconds, I’m singing a song to my beautiful five-month-old nephew. Like magic, the baby coos and smiles.

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