Page 16 of Sacrifice Bunt

When Aidan texted him, asking where he was and telling him the building was on fire, he told him that he was out and had no clue. Aidan vaguely mentioned someone was supposed to meet him at their apartment, but in the same breath, said he’d spoken to her, and she never showed up.

Noah had taken that nugget of information and tucked it away in a hidden corner of his mind, never to be thought of again.

Until the day he saw her talking to Heath at a game and realized who she was. That day was seared into his brain, just like the night of the fire and their first kiss.

First kiss, because he knew he would kiss her again. He had to.

He jogged back to the field with the rest of his team, ready to start the game. Something told him to turn his head and look into the stands as he passed the pitcher's mound. What he saw had him shocked.

Zara was there again.

With her eyes glued on him.

Holy fucking shit. This was how all his dreams started. She watched him play and then met him outside the locker room, where she couldn’t keep her hands off him. Sometimes they made it to his truck before they fucked, and sometimes they didn’t, humping like fools in a dark corner.

This was not going to help his concentration. When she’d watched him last night, he hadn’t known what she tasted like or that she even wanted to kiss him.

Now he did.

Why was she there? Not at the game necessarily, but in the stands. Usually, if she came to visit clients, she didn’t watch the game from the stands for more than one night. At least he’d never seen her there. Hannah once told him that she always watched from an office in the back while working because working calmed her.

Thank God for Hannah the last few months. She’d let little things slip about Zara that he would never have learned otherwise.

He tried to ignore the feel of her stare on his back as he took his position in right field. It wasn’t easy. This woman had him by the balls, and she didn’t even know it.

He probably shouldn't think about Zara and his balls simultaneously. That only made him want things he shouldn’t want while working. Getting a boner in front of a crowd of thousands was not a great idea.

Nor was getting one while wearing a cup.

Talk about painful.

He focused on the game, leaving everything else at the door. In the back of his mind, he knew Zara was there, but she couldn’t be the focus. Not when he had a team relying on him. The game stayed close through four innings, but Arizona hit back-to-back home runs, scoring seven total runs.

From there, his team wasn’t able to catch up.

It always felt horrible to lose, but for him, this felt even worse.

He didn’t want Zara to see him this way. Sure, he knew she’d technically seen him lose many times. You can’t win them all. But this felt different. He was not the same person after a win that he was after a loss. What would Zara think of him if she noticed that difference? Would he even be able to put on a happy face and fake it?

For her, he’d try.

It was difficult to always be on for the fans and the media. No one could be happy all the time. But showing that side to Zara freaked him out.

Panic was settling in, and he instantly knew that if he didn’t get several minutes alone to meditate, he’d have a full-blown panic attack.

Wanting to cut it off before it happened, he bypassed the locker room and went down the hallway to try and find an empty room. If they were playing at home, he had a place he could go. A room that the coach helped him find and was always empty. Away games were different. He had to take what he could find. He came across a room quickly and left the light off to keep himself calm.

He leaned forward, pressing his palm against the wall as he began his steady breathing techniques that he’d been using for years. He’d tweaked them here and there over the years, but for the most part, it stayed the same. When something worked, there was no need to mess with it.

Several minutes into his meditation, he heard a noise that had him opening his eyes and turning his head. His eyes connected in the dark with Zara’s.

“I’m so sorry,” she rushed to say, shaking her head repeatedly. “I was in here when you came in, and before I knew it, you were—” She stopped shaking her head again. “I’ll just go.”

Before he could stop her, she ran out of the room. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to stop her. Not at that moment. This was his secret, although it wasn't a secret. Most of his teammates knew, as did his coaches. Hell, he wasn’t the only guy on the team who had anxiety or panic attacks. And he wasn’t ashamed.

He just didn’t know how to be that man with Zara.

A man with a weakness.

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