Page 56 of Sacrifice Bunt

“How do you know that? I have no idea what to do with a baby. I never babysat as a teenager. Hell, Jasmine is the only kid I know, and she’s old enough that I don't have to change her diaper. Oh my God, I do not want to change diapers. Why would anybody want to clean up somebody else's shit? That's just disgusting.”

Celia laughed. “You're making it a lot worse than it is, believe me. I've been there, I've cleaned the poop. It's not that bad.”

“I don't see how that's possible.”

“Han, come on. I know you. You're loving and you’re kind and you’re gentle and you're giving. All of those qualities are going to make you an amazing mom. Plus, you're not alone. You have Edwin, and he's all of those things and more. Also, if I had to guess, he’d probably be a really good dad because he's sort of already a dad without the kid.”

Hannah laughed, the tension coming off her finally gone. “God, he is such a dad.”

“But do you know the biggest reason why I know you're going to be the best mom ever? Because you are going to love this baby so much and do anything in your power to make sure they are never hurt or upset. That's what moms do.”

Hannah wiped a few tears from her cheeks and looked at Zara. “And you said you don't have feelings and emotions. Such a liar.”

Zara groaned. “Was this just a ploy to make me realize I have feelings? Are you even pregnant?”

“Yes, I'm pregnant, and,” she slapped Zara on the arm, “I would never joke about that.”

“She's right, though,” Celia said. “Look at how quickly you jumped to assure Hannah. How you wanted to make sure she understood how good of a mom she was going to be, and I bet you anything you're going to be right by her side the whole time. You’ll be in the hospital cheering her on while she angrily tells you to shut up. And after it's born, you’ll be right there holding and cooing and loving it more than anything. So don't sit there and tell us that you don't have feelings and emotions and that you’re cold-hearted. We know better.”

“When you put it like that, I sound fucking amazing.” She tried to laugh at her joke but failed. “Seriously, if that's the case, why can't I let myself love Noah? Why do I feel like running when I should want to stay?”

“It's new to you,” Celia said. “New things are scary. “We have to work through, process, and figure them out. We're not going to be great at them at first, but with practice and time, you'll get there. Were you the best volleyball player when you played in college?”

“That's a bad example,” Hannah said. “She was the best volleyball player.”

Zara shrugged. “I was.”

“Fine,” Celia said, “bad example. Were you the best agent when you started at Sports World?”

“Also a bad example,” Hannah said. “Because, again, she was. She signed clients right out of the gate who other agents had been courting for years.”

“Well then, I fucking give up.” Celia threw her hands in the air as she stood up and walked away.

“No,” Hannah said. “I see what you're getting at, and actually, this might help. She's used to being amazing at things straight out of the gate. She's not used to working to get better at something. She’s just always been good at things.”

Zara opened her mouth to say something, but stopped because they were right. She was used to just automatically being good at things. Most things came naturally to her. School, friendships, her work, sports. Love was the only thing she had no clue about because it had never felt easy, so she’d stayed away.

“Shit, it was so simple and right in front of her face this whole time.” Celia sat back down.

“Hell, looks like I'm a product of my own doing. I never attempted love because it didn’t feel right. Something about it felt so foreign to me. I chose fun and sex over love because they were easy. Enter Noah, sweeping into my life. Literally, sweeping me off my feet, and I don't know how to deal with it.”

“How are you going to deal with it?" Hannah asked.

“Fuck if I know,” she said. “But you have a point. I'm going to have to put in the work. For the first time, I might have to actually put effort into something if I want it to work, and I do want it to work. Even if the thought of loving him after only a few days seems insane to me.”

“It hasn't only been a few days. It's been since that night of the fire. He's always been there, in the back of your mind. He was always the one that got away.”

“Can you not sing a Katy Perry song to me right now? Can't you see I'm not in the mood?”

“It always annoyed me that the lyric was the one that got away. Shouldn't it be the one WHO got away? I mean, I know she's not an English major, but it’s still super annoying.” Leave it to Celia, the teacher, to bring a grammar lesson into a song.

––––––––

“Enough about Katy Perry,” Hannah said. “Zara, what do you need from us?”

She looked at both her friends and shrugged. “You've given me everything I need. Just having you as friends makes everything better.”

“Now I'm going to cry,” Celia said, pretending to wipe away a fake tear.

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