Page 28 of Omega's Bears

Chapter Sixteen

The next several daysare—as predicted—great.

The snowstorm keeps us in our cave for another forty-eight hours. In that time, Luka visits me twice in my private nook. Even though the others must know what’s going on between us back there, we do our best to keep things inconspicuous, pressing our hands over each other’s mouths to muffle the sounds we make. I know we don’t have to keep things a secret anymore, but maybe I’m just too shy to let my sexual encounters be public.

By the time the snow stops, I’m absolutely craving Jack. Sharing close quarters with him with no reprieve has been driving me crazy, but he hasn’t touched me in all the time we’ve been snowbound. When the weather clears, however, I quickly learn that Jack doesn’t share my hesitation about letting the rest of the clan know when something is going on between us. “You two go on ahead,” he tells Ryan and Luka, and the gleam in his eye is positively predatory. “I’ll catch up with you in a while.”

I know I’m in for something ferocious—my heartrate is already accelerating in anticipation—and sure enough, as soon as the others disappear down the tunnel, he grabs my wrist hard enough to bruise. “You have to tell me if you want me to stop,” he says, his voice a growl, pupils blown wide, eyes dark.

I don’t want him to stop. Now that I know this is allowed, I never want it to stop.

Jack is quick and rough with me, just like before, but when we’re finished, he scoops me into his arms and lays me on a skin by the fire to recover. He places the water skin and a bowl of fruit beside me and kisses my forehead. “I have to go and help with the hunt. Do you need anything before I leave?”

“Mmm...no.” I’m absolutely exhausted and more satisfied than I think I’ve ever been. I know I won’t be going to the river today. All I want to do is lie here in the glow and the warmth of our fire, dipping in and out of sleep, reliving the delights of the past two days. I only wish the men had found out they’d all imprinted on me sooner. We could have been doing this all along. But the future looks bright. Our den is warm and secure, we have plenty of food, and every day, I’m discovering new heights of pleasure with Luka and Jack.

There’s only one problem—Ryan.

The information that was revealed while we were snowbound has had absolutely no impact on our sexual relationship—or conspicuous lack thereof. Though he’s polite to me in passing, he still hasn’t approached me or attempted to start a conversation about our situation. And my frustration is reaching a point I can no longer endure. Jack and Luka are wonderful, but for some reason—maybe it’s just the power of the imprint—I can’t drive Ryan from my mind. I feel the electricity between us every time we’re close to each other. I’m driven half mad wondering what his hands would feel like on my body, how he would be different from the others. Is he gentle like Luka or rough like Jack? Would it feel like having sex with an equal or submitting to someone more powerful? I’m dying to know.

And I’m starting to think I’ll have to be the one to make the move, because it seems clear that Ryan is not going to do it. It’s too bad, in a way, that our conversation by the fire during the time we were snowbound together was interrupted, because I know that’s where it was going. At the end of the day, though, I can’t be sorry that the truth came out about the other bears having imprinted. I’m glad everyone knows the score now. I’m just going to have to try again.

The trouble is that Ryan is almost impossible to find. Luckily for me, Jack has been coaching me a little each night on tracking techniques with an idea of taking me out on a hunt someday. We haven’t tested my learning in the field yet, but that might work to my advantage, because Ryan won’t suspect my capabilities. I wait for him to leave one morning and then follow after him out of the cave.

At first, tracking is easy—I follow the sets of boot prints through the snow. But after a while, the prints diverge, the three sets going in three different directions. Which do I follow? Which belong to Ryan? I examine them carefully and, after a moment, settle on the biggest. I’m not certain it’s the right choice, but Ryan is the biggest of the Bears, so it stands to reason that his feet would be the biggest.

My skills are valuable in this pursuit. I’m quick over long distances and I’m good at keeping myself quiet and hidden. I finally come upon Ryan lying flat on his belly, peering over a rise in the ground, and I know he’s spotted some quarry. I’ve never been on a hunt with the Bears, so I’m not sure what to expect here. I’m sure he won’t try to attack without shifting first. But will that be soon? If he’s about to shift, I shouldn’t come bursting out and surprising him. That’s the kind of thing that could end very badly.

I decide on a careful approach. When I’m still several yards away, I deliberately step on a twig and snap it, causing Ryan to turn around and notice me. He frowns. “What are you doing?”

I’m surprised he’s speaking full voice—isn’t he worried about scaring off whatever animal he’s stalking?—but I respond in kind. “I wanted to learn from you. About the hunt.”

“You could have asked me,” he says, a note of amusement in his tone. “You didn’t have to stalk me out here. I would have brought you with me.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.” I join him on the rise and look over in the direction he was just looking. “There’s nothing out there.”

“It’s a popular feeding ground for rabbits,” he says. “I was waiting to see if any came along. And why do you say I wouldn’t have brought you?”

I can’t believe we’re still doing this dance. “You know you wouldn’t have,” I say. “You never want to be alone with me. I’m surprised you even rode me on your bike—but that was an order, I suppose. You wouldn’t have volunteered for it, would you? You’ve made it perfectly clear, at every turn, that you don’t want me around, that even though you’ve imprinted, you can choose not to be with me. And you never wanted me to be part of the clan. So, don’t act like I’m crazy now for thinking you’d have said no if I’d asked to come along.”

Ryan sighs. “Cami....”

“It’s insulting, frankly.” And to my horror, tears are forming in my eyes. I fight the urge to let them spill, trying to hold on to my anger instead. “Am I so awful? Why have you never wanted me?”

“Is that what you think?” Ryan asks quietly. “That I don’t want you?”

“What else am I supposed to think?”

“If I didn’t want you, this would all be easy. I wouldn’t have to avoid you if I didn’t want you. It’s only because being near you drives me so crazy that I have to stay away, Cami.” He sighs and fists his hand in his hair, tugging a little. “I had a mate once before. A few years ago. Did you know that?”

“How could I have known that?” I’m startled to think of Ryan with someone else. Is this why he was so reluctant to allow me into the pack? Is this why he’s always viewed me as an outsider? “What happened to her?”

“I shifted,” he says, his voice very low. “I got carried away. I was so in love with her, but she made me angry...well, I’ve never been the best at controlling my temper. I shifted, and I slashed her.”

I suck in a deep breath.

“Thank God for Jack and Luka,” he says. “They were nearby, and they were able to act quickly and save her life. We got her to a hospital. She’s fine now. But she could so easily have died. She was badly injured, and it was all my fault. After that, I sent her away. I couldn’t risk that happening again.”

“And that’s why you don’t want me?” I ask. “Because you’re still in love with her?”

“Cami, no, you’re missing the point,” he says. “That was years ago. I’ve gotten over my feelings for her. But I’ll never get over that feeling of hurting someone I care about. And if you and I were to mate, things could go wrong. I could get carried away, and you could get hurt. I can’t risk it. I won’t.”

“You won’t hurt me,” I tell him. Perhaps I’m being foolish—the story he’s just shared should be enough of a cautionary tale to warn me away from him—but I know Ryan. I’ve been living with him for weeks. We sleep together every night. I’ve seen him angry, yes, but he masters his anger, turns it away from other people, walks away when things become too much for him. Whatever weaknesses Ryan may have had a few years ago, I feel sure he’s overcome them by now. I’m not afraid.

So, I take his hands and pull them to me, placing them on my torso, and straddle his lap. He sits very, very still as I kiss him, letting me set the pace, letting me guide things. I strip off his shirt and then my own, and finally, finally, we are skin to skin. It’s been such a long time coming that I could practically cry with relief, but I settle for hugging him close, pressing our bodies together.

The intensity is building, and I want to hurry things along, but I know Ryan needs a slow pace, careful control. I step back from him to remove my pants, help him to his feet, and slide his down too. He’s still immobile, so careful, so hesitant, and I pick up his hands and guide them back to my body, showing him where to touch.

“Oh, God,” he groans suddenly, and sweeps me off my feet, lowering me to my back in the snow. It’s bitingly cold, but he covers me, and the heat is a delicious contrast. I can’t quite stifle a gasp of pain as he enters me—he is bigger than either of the others—but it only takes a few moments to adjust. I roll on top of him and begin to ride him in earnest, but a moment later, he’s flipped us over again. We wrestle for dominance, our bodies never separating. Ryan’s teeth are bared, and so, I realize, are mine, and it is primal and perfect, and I know throughout every moment of it that I am completely safe, that Ryan loves me and won’t hurt me.

He kisses me as he comes, deeply and passionately, and it occurs to me that he hasn’t been with a woman since that girl he told me about, and probably thought he never would again.

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