Page 129 of Devil's Deal

Sounds drift to me in the brief moments when I’m whole. They are words, and I should understand them, but I don’t.

“A bit more.”

“Brave girl.”

“I’ll save you.”

If I had a body and felt this kind of pain, I’d lose consciousness or die. But I am dead already. There is nowhere to go but here. Nothing to feel but pain.

It’s all red, the world bathed in blood, and it’s my blood, a flood of it drowning the fields. Again, I’m torn and sewn together. Again, the pieces don’t fit.

Again. Again. Again.

“You’re almost there.”

“I’ll take care of you.”

“Live for me.”

I open my eyes with a gasp. The air feels intrusive, unwelcome in my lungs, so I cough and cough, somebody’s hand on my back, their body curved around mine. I choke on my coughing, and then I’m forced to take another breath, and it hurts just like the first.

I squeeze my eyes shut, and they ache, and I clench my fists, and they respond with pain. But it’s nothing like it was before. This pain is but a trifling.

“Easy. Small breaths. Easy now.”

The words are simple, and I realize I understand them. My mind seems to be working. Slowly, I open my eyes a fraction. It’s dark, but a golden glow, like candlelight, surrounds us. I look at my lap where my hands rest. I wiggle my fingers, and both hands respond. I am whole.

The next breath hurts a little less. And the next one, too. Soon, I’m breathing continuously, my heart thudding in my chest, strong and even.

I’m not even dizzy.

“There. Can you hear me? Can you see?”

Slowly, I raise my head. I’m sitting in Woland’s lap, my head leaning on his chest, his arms curled around me. He sits on the ground, and we’re not hidden among his shadows. We’re in the wheat field, and the moon is so high in the sky.

A circle of illuminated orbs, their light golden and warm, surrounds us. I imagine if anyone saw us from afar, it would look like an apparition.

“How long was I dead?” I ask, and my voice is so scratchy, I immediately cough again.

My chest hurts from all the coughing. Everything feels… tender. Like new skin under a scab.

“Not long.”

I look up. His face is perfectly neutral, the mask firmly on. I have a shadowy memory of seeing him without it, of seeing him in pain… But it’s blurry and soon trickles out from my mind, just like water would trickle out from my cupped palms, the faster the more I tried to hold it.

So I forget. Maybe it was a dream.

“You didn’t come.”

This time, my voice is surer, but my throat still burns. Like my vocal cords are unused to speaking. Maybe they are. Maybe he made me anew. I reach up to my left arm, and there is only smooth, healthy skin under my fingers.

I realize I’m naked.

“I was in a battle,” he says through clenched teeth. “I came the moment I felt you die.”

“Oh.”

I’m silent for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, but they are slippery. It’s as if my mind, too, is reborn. Like it has to learn how to think all over again. Finally, I have a thought that seems clear enough to speak.

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