Page 36 of Of Bone and Ash

Teos deserves the world… a girl who will be there for him. Someone to cuddle him and share in the brightness he exudes from every pore. If he stayed with me, I would no doubt smother his light until it eventually extinguished. And despite all the guilt I carry from the shit I’ve done, all the horrors I’ve caused and lives I’ve stolen… Nothing would compare to the pain it would cause if I were Teos’ ruin. Taking away his light would be my undoing.

I straighten my shoulders and lift my chin up as I stride down the steps to my floor, taking all the pain I feel and shoving it down into a tiny box with everything else. I may not be strong enough to face it, but I am strong enough to ignore it.

I am not and will never be the girl Teos needs, no matter how much I wish I were.

SEVENTEEN

Ryland

Iglower at the man sitting in his pristine wheelchair, trying to calm my Dragon as he simply glowers back at me. He’s sitting behind his absurdly large desk, hands clasped, gold rings on his fingers flashing with magic as he stares me down. My Alpha dominance was thick in the air, enough that Andrei stepped out of the room, leaving me to Atlas and Boris since it was making him uncomfortable.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Boris shift in his chair, his hands gripping the armrest like a lifeline. I know I’m making him uncomfortable. His Dragon no doubt wants to submit, yet the older shifter stays perfectly poised, looking from me to Atlas with a puzzled look on his normally happy face.

“Anyone want to explain what the fuck just happened? Because everything I just witnessed was a damn shit show that I now have to deal with,” Boris grumbles, one of his big hands raising to rub at the back of his neck. “Do you have any idea how frustrating that Phoenix woman is to deal with?”

I stay silent, my eyes locked with Atlas’ in a silent showdown. This fucker has pissed me off, and I refuse to give in despite the amount of magic he’s now flooding the room with to combat my own. I grind my jaw together when I notice there is no scent of fear, hesitation, or leniency that I can sense from the Warlock, and that pisses me off even more. In fact, I’m pretty sure his lip just quirked up in the smallest of smirks.

I can hear Boris’ hands tighten on his arm rests, his heartbeat quickening as he loses his temper because he’s being ignored. “Answer me now,” he demands in a calm tone, even though I know he wants to yell at us. Atlas quirks a brow at me, and then the bastard actually smiles as I narrow my gaze on him. He opens his mouth to respond, but I’ve lost what little patience I have.

“You are supposed to keep her safe!” I bellow at him, standing up so fast my chair goes flying back. The crack of wood echoes in the room as my breath comes in heaving pants.

“Ryland, sit down!” Boris snarls, trying and failing to dominate me. I typically listen to him, letting him win our battles and giving him the respect his station deserves, but nothing will sidetrack me right now.

“I am,” Atlas says calmly, tilting his head to the side as he studies me, brown eyes flickering over my trembling body as I seethe in front of him.

“I told Gabe I would take this assignment. That I would stay here until I figured it out. But he HAD to protect her! He promised!” I bellow, feeling my composure slipping by the second as scales ripple up my neck and claws slowly lengthen at my fingertips.

“And what were we supposed to do, Ryland? Lock her in a room and keep her fed and watered until you came back?” he asks, amusement dancing in his warm gaze as he shakes his head. “You know her almost as well as I do. How do you think she would handle that?”

“I know her far more than you do,” I snap back, affronted at his claim.

“Three years ago, sure. Not anymore. Fina’s not a kid anymore, Ry. You wanted her to grow up…” he pauses and then shrugs as I take a deep, shuddering breath, trying to keep calm. “It’s been over three years, man. She's grown,” he whispers the last part, and I curse and tear my burning gaze from his infuriating face.

“She shouldn't be here,” I grumble as I run my hands through my now tangled hair. The long black strands are twisted in knots and are going to be a bitch to untangle, and I mentally curse myself for letting it get to this state.

“Yeah, well, Gabe didn't really give his permission for her to come. She transferred on her own from Black Veil when she overheard Gabe and me discussing the murdered girls. She says she wants to help,” he grumbles this last part like he's mad about it, and I scowl, looking back at him as he looks down at his hands.

“In what way?” I ask, almost afraid to know the answer. Atlas inhales and shakes his head.

“Something about the monsters needing something to fear. She believes she can be the bigger monster,” he rasps, the words forced from his lips like they physically hurt him. My heart stalls painfully in my chest as I roll my lips together, shaking my head.

“She actually said that?” I ask, knowing she’s believed the words for years, but when I left, I hadn’t actually heard her utter them out loud. Atlas nods, looking defeated, and I lose it. A roar breaks from my lips as I kick the chair next to me, turning it into kindling as the small pieces fly through the room.

“Jesus. Will you calm down? You shift in here, and you’ll destroy the tower. I don’t want to explain to the headmistress that you destroyed her school!” Boris chides, sitting back in his chair while watching me freak out. I can feel his Dragon close to the surface, his magic lingering next to mine. He’s not trying to dominate me this time. No… this is my Alpha trying to lend his emotional support and keep me calm. “That woman is the biggest ball-buster I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting,” Boris harrumphs, making Atlas chuckle and nod in agreement as I begin to pace, my mind reeling with questions.

How bad is Fina’s mental stability? I had her level before I left. I made sure she had a friend to rely on, that her magic was under control, and that she was well protected. She just needed a few more years to grow up.

Staying there made me feel like a creep!

I had fallen desperately in love with my best friend, but I had it under control. I kept everything well within the friend boundaries and never ever allowed myself to be alone with her. That all changed when my Dragon selected her as our mate. I could no longer keep him at bay, but Fina was still in high school!

So I did the only thing I could. I left. I made sure she was safe, and I left, needing her to grow up, needing her to know herself without me so that she wouldn't feel like I forced her into mating me. Leaving her almost killed me, but the risk of her resentment in the future hurt more. As my mate, Serafina, was my number one priority. It didn’t matter who got hurt as long as she was okay.

“You were supposed to stay off university grounds,” Atlas mutters and I twist on my heel to stare at him.

“That was your plan? To keep me off school grounds for the rest of the school year? Are you fucking kidding me?” I grind out, hands falling on my hips so I don’t reach across the desk and strangle the man who helped raise me.

“No. My plan was to keep you out of sight until Gabe told you,” Atlas says with zero repentance. “I didn't want to deal with your bullshit and this,” Atlas weaves a hand in the air, gesturing to me, then the window which looks over the courtyard, “is why. You lost your shit the moment you realized she was here,” he accuses.

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