Page 70 of Lillian

“I love you,” I say, smiling at her faux innocent look.

“I know,” is her jaunty reply. She leans into me, her head tilted back, and I lean down to meet her lips halfway. Our kiss is slow, deep, sensual. When I feel my dick start to stir, another hacking wet cough comes from Grace, and I’m reminded we aren’t alone.

We pull apart and both look at her, still sleeping. This is so surreal. The feeling hits me out of nowhere. I have a kid now. The rest of the apartment is quiet, everything about this Friday night is typical. Sitting at home on the couch, finishing some work, no plans to go out. But so different at the same time. With Lillian and Grace here, my usual boring weekend feels so full now. I’m…well, happy. In a way I haven’t been for a long time.

“You still have one more confession,” I say in a low voice now that I’m reminded of the sleeping toddler.

“My third thing is kind of a piggyback off my last one...if you want to hear it.” The hesitance tells me it’s a piggyback off the dating portion and not the bone breaking.

Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I need to hear it. I squeeze her hand and nod.

One big breath in; one fast puff out. “I didn’t really do a lot of ‘dating’ over the years,” she starts, and my heart lifts. Maybe this’ll be easier than I thought. “I tried. To date, that is.” Just as fast, it stalls. “But it wasn’t very long before I realized that I was just trying to replace you. And to get rid of the feeling of not being good enough. There was always something—with each guy—that reminded me too much of you, so I’d end things. Or they did when they realized I wasn’t going to be able to commit to them. It made it hard to form any kind of real attachment with someone.”

I stare at her for a second, shell-shocked. “I don’t know what to say to that…” I admit. On the one hand, it kills me to know she dated enough to have had multiple partners. But then again…some sick part of me is happy that I was always on her mind. With every man, it was always me she was thinking about.

“You don’t have to say anything.” She shrugs. “I just wanted you to know. It’s always been you for me.”

A big, smug smile starts to spread across my face, and she smacks my leg. “Shut up,” she grumbles, embarrassed.

I have no qualms reciprocating, though. “I have one last confession.”

“Oh?”

“I didn’t do a lot ofdating,”I start, and she scowls at what I mean by that. Jealousy looks fucking good on her. “Let me finish, Frasier. What I’m trying to say is, when Iwaswith someone, I compared them to you. It was always you for me, too.”

The scowl drops, replaced by a small, shy smile. “Okay,” she whispers.

“Okay,” I laugh.

Just like that, the mood lightens again. Until Grace lets out another hacking cough.

“I need to get her more medicine,” Lillian worries aloud.

“I’ll get it. We need to order food, too.” She nods, and that’s how the rest of the night goes. Food is ordered, Grace takes a few bites and then says she isn’t hungry, and Lillian makes her drink a whole glass of Pedialyte before she disappears back to her room. She gets another round of medicine before Lillian puts her to bed, but she isn’t looking or sounding much better by the time Lillian follows me to our own room for the night.

“I need to get her in to see her primary care physician on Monday.” Lillian slides under the covers and molds her body against mine.

“We can get her into a 24/7 place here in Phoenix if you want? Tomorrow or Sunday?” I offer, I don’t offer to pay someone to come here in the morning because I know she’ll vetome spending another large amount of money on them. But I like being able to take care of her and Grace.

She thinks for a second and shakes her head. “It’s okay. Her doctor knows her already. I’ll feel more comfortable taking her there. I’ll call her in the morning.”

“Okay,” I agree and then kiss the top of her head. She tilts her head up, lips puckered, and I laugh but oblige. The kiss is slow and deepens after a second. I spend the rest of the night buried deep inside her, showing her how much I fucking love her. Telling her how I’ll never let her go again, and she promises the same.

I want endless days like today, I think before I fall asleep. And if only wishing made it so.

I walk into work on Monday completely exhausted. Lillian and I were asleep maybe an hour or two Friday night before Grace crawled into bed with us and coughed half the night, keeping us both up. Grace still slept through the night, though. Which, in hindsight, was a blessing, because Saturday night her coughing worsened and kept her up crying for most of the night.

During the day she was fine. Well, notfine,but she wasn’t in so much pain that she cried. Lillian was able to keep her pumped full of water and Pedialyte, but Grace wouldn’t eat anything. All of Sunday was spent trying to convince Lillian to let me take them to a doctor in Phoenix. During one really bad bout of coughing, I saw her almost cave.

But then Grace ate a whole bowl of soup and got some energy back Sunday afternoon, so it made us both feel marginallybetter. They went home last night, and I stayed onFaceTimewith them once they got home. For half the night, we were on the phone until they both fell asleep, Grace in bed with her again.

Lillian text me this morning to let me know it was an okay night. Grace still has the wet cough, but she was able to sleep for several hours at a time, but she stayed home from school today so she could take her to the doctor.

That text was several hours ago, and I keep checking my phone, anxious for an update. There’s a knock on my door, and I glance up to see an unfamiliar face. It’s a young man, maybe early to mid twenties with a bike helmet under his arm and a backpack on his shoulders.

“Can I help you?” I frown, standing up, walking around my desk, and meeting him halfway in my office.

“Lincoln Walton?” he asks, and I nod.

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