Page 85 of A Sky Full Of Stars

“Simple question, really…” I readjust the strap currently halting my movement. “Have you ever done something that made you hate yourself?”

I’m not paying much attention, but when Bec sighs, I look her way as she says, “all the time,” making me pout in sadness.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to be a downer. I just needed to fill the silence.”

“So you ask if I hate myself?” she laughs.

“Why not?”

“Doyouhate yourself?” she counters, her face alight with amusement.

My brows crease as I roll her question around my mind. “That’s kind of personal, don’t you think?”

Bec bursts out laughing again, before shaking her head. “You’re right. How very intrusive of me.”

It is intrusive, but also not, because I did just ask that question myself. “I do,” I say honestly and it’s kind of freeing. “But if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it.”

She continues to laugh as though I’m joking, so I join in on her fun, but when she drops me off and I walk into my barren hotel room, my mood shifts and the emptiness takes over.

I’m on edge, I’m shaky, and I have this nervous energy running through me that I need to quell. My eyes bounce between my phone and the minibar. But since I can’t call Lainey again, my decision is made for me and I grab myself a drink. Looks like the bar is my friend for tonight.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Lainey

Istare at myself in the mirror, running my fingers through my freshly dyed hair, and even after the night I’ve had, the pink color makes me giddy. While I made the decision to dye my hair pink weeks ago, it’s been a long and slow process because of my previously dark hair, and I’m happy to finally have the color I wanted. I feel like a new person, and I needed that today.

This week has been hellish. Actually, it’s been a few weeks. But tonight was the icing on the cake. After spending the better part of the day getting slammed by some unfriendly text messages from my old Jaiton classmates, I had to spend my evening at work, dishing out fake smiles, while Thomas’s team was losing their playoff game. To make matters worse, I had several missed calls and a message staring up at me when I was finally able to check my phone. It’s not that I think it would have made any difference to Thomas if I was watching, but I hate that I couldn’t support him, even from the sidelines. And more than that, I hate that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me. Like I promised myself I would be.

Guilt eats away at me on my drive home, and when I finally walk in the door after what felt like the longest shift of my life, I come face-to-face, or rather face to Heath’s naked ass as he pounds into some girl on our kitchen counter.

“Jesus! Fuck. I’m so sorry.” I shield my eyes as I spin around, but the image stays at the forefront of my mind, burned into my retina.

Heath’s taken to bringing women home most weekends and making sure they’re as loud as physically possible, overexaggerating his “noises” so I’m forced to hear everything.

But this is a first.

And while I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t think I’d be home yet, I’m still shocked. The woman gasps, mimicking my feelings, but instead of apologizing—to either of us—for the accidental peep show, Heath laughs. Actually, it’s more like a sadistic cackle.So maybe no accident at all.

I try hard to ignore him, but as I blindly walk past, he grabs my sleeve and pulls me to a stop. “Did you enjoy the game?” he mocks. “What a shame Seattle didn’t make it.”

What. The. Hell?

I shake him off as bile rises in my throat.How is that girl not pissed off at him?

Without a word, I walk away, not giving him the satisfaction of an answer, holding back my physical reaction until I’m locked away in my room.

Then I shiver like a ghost just passed through me.

I need to leave, plain and simple, but I’m only here for another few months, and the rent is too good to let go of. So…not so plain or simple at all. If I go out on my own, I’ll be paying more than double what I currently pay, and I can’t afford that.

I know he’s pissed about Thomas—he’s made that clear by the way he keeps mentioning Luke and how he thinks it’s time they became friends again. But I also know his threats are harmless. It’s been weeks now since he first accused me ofmessing around with Thomas, and he hasn’t said a word. Still it’s bothering me all the same.

But while I can’t afford to leave, what Icando is handle Heath.

Yes, he’s driving me crazy, but he’s not causing any emotional damage. I don’t care enough to let it truly affect me; it’s just annoying.

Kicking off my shoes, I lie down on my bed just as my phone vibrates again, and without looking, I know who it’s going to be, and I know who it’snotgoing to be—Thomas. He gave up on me after I missed his calls. This message is undoubtedly one of my old classmates, letting me know they’re still around.

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