Page 82 of A Sky Full Of Stars

“By telling me more of your story while I sit back and enjoy my drink.”

It doesn’t feel right to let him bottle it all up, but at the same time, who am I to tell him how to cope? All I can do is be here for him and try to help in any way he’ll let me.

“Okay, but you’ve been warned,” I say, keeping my tone light. “I’ll be describing the corny bits in full detail.”

Thomas laughs, and I picture his relaxed smile. The smile I’ve only ever seen when we’re still. When we’re just existing together as the world goes by. It makes me happy to imagine him feeling that ease right now.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Lainey. But make sure you include the heartbreak. I deserve it afterA Walk to Remember,” he jokes and I finally laugh.

“That you do. Here goes. It all started when he bullied her in high school.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Thomas

For the next few weeks, Lainey and I chat every few days. But it’s not enough. I have no idea how it happened, but all of a sudden, I need her like oxygen, and I hate that we live so far apart. There’s something about her voice that instantly puts me at ease.

She’s my calm in the storm.

And God, I need calm right now. But she doesn’t need my mess.

I finally caved today, answering a call from my mom after watching her name light up my screen six times in a row. With a clenched fist and a bottle of whiskey, I had grand plans to question her on everything that had happened, but she wouldn’t let me speak, immediately accusing me of abandoning her. Just like she did to Summer. Just likeIdid to Summer. So instead of the anger I held before she started talking, I hung up with a mind full of guilt.

I know I have to go home at some point. But if just hearing my mom speak makes me hate myself more than I already did, imagine what a visit will do.

She’s called another three times since then, and when my phone rings a fourth time, a tightness makes its way into my chest, mixing with the guilt. I almost consider throwing my phone against the brick feature wall in my apartment, picturingthe way it will shatter, until I glance at the caller ID and see Lainey’s nickname instead, rushing to answer it.

“You called?” I ask, almost incredulously, not even hiding the relieved sigh that follows as the thick tension evaporates from my body.

Lainey giggles like it’s no big deal, but to me, it’s everything. “You say that like I’ve never called before,” she teases, but she’s got it all wrong.

“Actually I say that like Ireallyneeded to hear your voice.”

Lainey giggles again, and the sound runs through me like a sip of my favorite bourbon. But when she follows it with her own sigh, my tension returns. “You never mince your words, do you, Thomas?” she asks playfully, acting like that sigh didn’t exist.

“Not when it comes to you,” I say honestly. “But other things…” Another wave of guilt hits me, and I realize I’ve been holding back on her. Until now, we’ve kept our conversations surface level. But I want that to change. I want to know everything about her. The good, the bad, the stuff that keeps her up at night…makes her sigh.

“I understand that,” Lainey whispers after a beat, the smile dropping from her voice. “How was your day?”

I fall back on the couch and kick my feet up, feeling at ease for the first time, and I want her to feel the same. “Before we get into that, I want to know about you.”

Lainey pauses, and I can picture her deciding whether or not she’s going to be open with me, and when she speaks, I get my answer. “I’m fine,” she says, holding back. “But I did spend way too much money on a lightweight travel bag.”

Huh?I want to circle back to deeper topics, but I can’t let that one go. “A travel bag?” I ask, as a spark ignites in my chest, imagining her coming here.

“Yeah. I signed up for a teaching project in Indonesia. I leave at the beginning of summer.”

Indonesia?She’s leaving again.If that spark was real, it just extinguished.

“That’s incredible, Lainey.” I fake a smile, hoping it will come out in my voice. “What an amazing opportunity.” Even to my ears I sound disingenuous, but itisan amazing opportunity, it’s just the thought of her going away is a little hard to take at the moment.

“I hope so,” Lainey says quietly, sounding unsure.

A dark cloud forms as my worry takes over. “You can talk to me about anything, Lainey. You know I’m here to listen.”Even if the idea of you leaving makes me nauseous.

“I know, I just… I guess I’ve felt so lost since New York, and I wanted something more. At least, I thought I did. I could be making a huge mistake, but…I’m excited.”

Her pitch kicks up at the end and her excitement makes me smile. “If something makes youthathappy, it can’t be a mistake,” I say, refusing to acknowledge the uncomfortable feeling in my chest.

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