Page 76 of A Sky Full Of Stars

My eyes dart around the empty apartment as I consider inviting him here. Heath is never home on a Saturday. Even when we were together, it was his day with the boys and my time to unwind before work. The chances of him coming home are slim, and yet there’s an uncomfortable feeling in my chesttelling me to say no. Plus, Luke still hasn't collected his wallet so he's likely to show up.

But where else do we go?

I’m rereading his message when another one comes through and I know what to do.

Thomas: I only have a few hours, but name a place and I’ll be there.

Lainey: I’ll come to you. Text me the details.

Forty-five minutes later, I raise my fist to knock, but Thomas opens the door, grabbing my hand to drag me inside.

Skipping the pleasantries, he spins me around and lifts me onto the counter, immediately slipping between my open legs.

“We can catch up in a sec, but first…”

He palms my face and presses his lips to mine, instantly making me melt. I’ve never been excited about kisses except for Thomas’s. It must be something to do with the way he devours me, making me feel his touch everywhere. But whatever it is, I can’t get enough. So, when he brushes his tongue across my bottom lip, seeking entry, I can’t stop myself from giving it to him.

He makes my toes curl and my heart race, but on top of all that, he makes me forget. And God, do I need to forget.

Just like last night, I curl my fingers into his tee and pull him closer, needing to feel his body against mine. We mold together as one, our tongues tangling, my mind racing, and when his hands sink into my hair, my head drops back as I moan his name, loving the possessive nature of his hold.

Tilting my head farther, Thomas glides his lips down my neck, alternating between gentle sucks and featherlight kisses,erasing any man that’s been there before as a giddiness takes over me. He’s making me feel like it’s my first time, and God, do Iwishit was my first time. More than anything, I wish for that innocence to return, for kissing and sex to still be special to me, but I’ll never get that back. Basking in the way Thomas makes me feel is all that I have. And I’m going to hold on to that high.

Thomas explores my heated skin, brushing his lips across my neck, my chest, the little spot just below my ear that makes my body shiver, and when his mouth reaches mine again, I’m ready for all he has to give me.

But he’s not.

After pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of my mouth, he steps back, running a hand through his already mussed hair, his gaze locked on mine.

He shakes his head as he huffs out an incredulous laugh, and when I don’t say a word, he lifts me off the counter, dropping me to my feet before stepping away.

I take a moment to slow my breathing, using the time to glance around the room, taking in my surroundings until Thomas moves in place beside me, bumping his shoulder to mine, his breathing ragged. “So this is my room,” he says, making me laugh as he walks toward the window, his hands by his sides.

I follow his lead, my attention immediately caught on the picturesque scene staring back at me and I gape. “Nice view,” I say, stating the obvious as I come to a stop beside him.

He’s silent until I glance his way to find him staring directly at me. “It’s okay, I guess.” He shrugs, making me laugh out loud.

I know we shouldn’t be doing this. That it’s going to end with one of us getting hurt, but he’s not the only one that needs it. Nothing in my life has felt more real than when Thomas istouching me, laughing with me or at me, staring into my soul. I made a promise when I left Jaiton to take control of my life, to be the owner of my decisions, and right now, this is whatIwant.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says suddenly, as though reading my thoughts or, perhaps, reading my expression. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Then why do it?” I challenge, even though I did nothing to stop him.

Thomas turns to face the outside world, his brows furrowing like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I can’t seem to stop myself,” he whispers, his voice coated in guilt as though he’s adding this—me—to the list of things he hates himself for.

My heart thuds in my chest as I walk closer to the window, my eyes locked on the glimpse of a reflection I can see, noting Thomas’s fists clenched by his sides as though he’s trying to stop himself right now.

“What if I don’t want you to?” I spin to face him. “I think—”

“Let’s not think,” he cuts me off, closing the space between us as something shifts in the air. He cages me in with his hands against the glass beside my face, his eyes bouncing between mine, waiting for something, while my heart thumps frantically in anticipation. “Just tell me you want this too.”

Once again, there’s no thought required for that answer. “I do. I—”

Rendering me speechless, Thomas drops to his knees in front of me and reaches for the waistband of my pants. He curls his hands around the material, lighting me on fire where his fingers brush against my skin.

After releasing a slow breath, he inches the elastic down, his gaze locked on mine, silently checking I’m okay.

I’m about to nod, when a thought hits me and I glance over my shoulder, once again coming face-to-face with San Francisco’s skyline. If that’s all I could see, I wouldn’t question it. It’s the people scurrying around only a couple of stories below us that has me on edge.

---