Page 64 of A Sky Full Of Stars

I hold back a sigh until the judging faces depart, and then sink into the nearest chair, dropping my face into my hands.

“We made mistakes,Imade mistakes, but I refuse to take all the blame.” Even though I know deep down, it’s my fault. The heat always falls to the quarterback.

Our offensive coordinator raises an eyebrow as he steps closer. “Unfortunately, that’s the nature of the position you play. That was a great speech, but I need you to maintain that strength behind closed doors. You’re going to need to toughen up.”

What?My eyes flash to his as he lifts his shoulders unapologetically. “It’s true. Having said that, you did well with what you had today. Rhodes’s injury was enough to throw any team off, but we came back and almost won. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

I put on another smile as I nod and thank him for the encouragement. He’s right on all accounts. Today was hard, but other days will be harder, and I don’t just mean with football. I have a lot of truths to face, and I’m not sure I’m ready for any of it.

When my focus drifts back to the locker room, the guys are discussing where to head out for a drink, and while I know I should join them, I’m not in the mood. I haven’t been in the mood since I ran into Dylan at the Ball House and my life spiraled out of control.

So like every other night, I drag my tired ass home for an evening on the couch, drowning my sorrows, hoping tomorrow will be better…while knowing it never is.

Two hellish weeks later, we have our next away game, and with Colton’s wife in the hospital until their baby is born, I’m the starting quarterback once again.

I should be excited. This is what I’vealwaysdreamed of. But we’re playing in San Francisco. Rain, hail, or shine, my dad will be there, and the anger I feel, knowing I’m so close to that pathetic excuse for a human, makes me want to rage.

And it’s all directed at him.

Drink in hand, I’m pacing the floor of my hotel room when Luke calls, breaking into my thoughts. I’m not in the mood totalk to anyone, but I know what he wants so figure I should just get it over with.

“Bennett?” I say and then cringe as an anxious feeling fills my chest. I’d stopped calling him by his last name because it reminded me of Lainey. Of their relationship. Of the girl that got away. Only it’s different now, because she’s back and she’s close by.

Taking another swig, I try to divert my thinking. Having Lainey constantly on my mind is not good for anyone, least of all me.

“Did you really think you were going to be able to sneak in and out of town without saying hi?” Luke asks, making me groan.

I had hoped so, yes.“I’m not coming to town.”

Luke scoffs. “Bullshit. You’re the starting quarterback in Seattle’s game against San Francisco on Sunday. It’s all anyone’s been talking about.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m coming to town.” I plan on driving from here to the stadium then back here to the hotel. I’m not passing go and I’m not collecting two hundred dollars unless it’s in liquid form.

“Semantics,” Luke says. “I’ll come to you.”

“Luke. You know how it is. It’s a fly by visit. I’m in and out. Doing my job and that’sit.”

“You’re not even going to come home to see Summer?” His words linger in the air, causing a wave of guilt to flood me.Goddammit, Luke.Of course, I want to see Summer. It’s all I’ve been thinking about, but she hasn’t contacted meoncesince the day after it all happened and I told her I’d leave it in her hands…that I’d wait for her.

“I don’t have a home there, Luke.”

“Cut the shit, Thomas. The Ball House will always be your home. At least while we’re there. Back to Summer.”

“She’s not ready to see me,” I say honestly because I’m sick of the lies surrounding me.

Luke’s quiet for a moment before he hums in question. “Maybe you need to make more of an effort.”

What?“Luke…” I warn.

“Nah, man. Hear me out. If it was Lainey, she’d be expecting me to make the first move if I’d been the one in the wrong.”

“This isn’tyouand Summer’snotLainey.”Jesus. I don’t need him bringing Lainey up right now. And Ididmake the first move. I called Summer the next day just like we discussed, only it didn’t seem as though she “loved it” like she said she would. Instead she was quiet, and she told me she needed time. She wasn’t ready and I can’t say I blame her.

“I know. It’s—”

“No, Luke!” I all but yell. “Please. Just let me handle it.”

He’s quiet for a moment, lulling me into a false sense of security until he hits me where it hurts. “Like last time,” he huffs, and I can practically hear his eyes roll, further pissing me off.

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