Page 47 of A Sky Full Of Stars

It’s not the first time she’s asked that question, and while I have thought about it, my memories of ballet are still raw, and at the moment, I know my answer. “I’m not ready for that.”

Shauna frowns. She’s one of the only people that know exactly what happened at Jaiton, and I plan to keep it that way. Despite her telling me I should be talking to someone about it, I’ve opted to push it from my mind and pretend it never happened. To shut out the pain and embarrassment.

“Maybe one day,” I lie, because if I’m honest, I can’t see that day coming.

“Well, you’re always welcome back.” Shauna puts on a smile. “For now, I’ll give you all the hours you want.”

When I get home, Heath’s passed out on the couch with the TV blaring and an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. He gave up smoking just before I met him, but when he drinks, he brings them out again.

I sink back against the door and watch him for a minute, my mind drifting to when we first met…to the excitement of getting to know each other, the attraction. It was a high I sought out, something to brighten my world after it turned to shit. But I wish I’d kept chasing that high instead ofsettling into an unhealthy pattern with Heath. If only it hadn’t been so easy.

Taking a deep breath, I pry the cigarette from his lips as I walk past, breaking it in half before tossing it onto the table, knowing he’ll thank me for it in the morning.

His loud snores ignite a jealousy inside me as I long for sleep, so while I haven’t eaten, I bypass the kitchen, heading straight to my room instead. It’s been a long time since I had a peaceful night.

Pajamas on, I’ve just thrown myself onto my bed when my phone rings, and Jace’s smiling eyes light up my screen.

“Hey, Jace,” I answer through a yawn, stretching my legs across my dark navy sheets, flexing my toes, as I try to ease the constant pain. “How are you?”

“Hey you,” he responds, the smile clear in his voice. “Do I need to give you another lecture on getting enough sleep for your body?” His tone is a little scolding, but since I know he loves me, I laugh.

“Nope. I’m good,” I sass. “I’ve heard it all before.”

Jace is studying to be a doctor. He’s only in his third year of college, but completely dedicated to the cause. We’re lucky if we speak monthly. Yet he always manages to jokingly—or not so jokingly—lecture me about something. He’s under the impression I need to maintain my peak fitness because I’m going to dance again.

I’m not.

“Then I should probably let you rest—”

“Nooo.” I groan as I sit up. “We never get to talk. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, but… are we going to get cut off again?”

“No.” I sigh. “He’s asleep.”

Heath came inoncewhile I was on the phone with Jace and said he needed me for something, clearly lying. Now Jace won’tlet me forget it. Jace is incredibly attractive and we’re close, so I understand Heath feeling a little uncomfortable. I don’t need to be reminded of it.

“I love that you still have separate rooms, but God, he’s a douche for agreeing to that.”

“Jace!”

“What? Tell me I’m wrong.”

“He’s still my boyf—”

“He’s not your boyfriend; you are exclusively having sex. Are you forgetting who you’re talking to? I’m not Luke.”

It’s easier to tell people that Heath and I are together—that he’s my boyfriend—rather than having to explain the truth. And despite the little change in Heath’s personality since I told him I was leaving, I mostly like what we have. It’s easy. We’re not in each other’s business, and he satisfies a need.

“I haven’t forgotten, but can we drop it?”

“Yeah, absolutely. Let’s move on to why I called. Did you get it?” His pitch rises as he tries to hold back his excitement in case I say no.

“I…” I pause, making him sweat a little. “Got it.”

“Lainey! Yes. I’m jealous. It’s going to be an amazing experience and I’m proud of you. Have I mentioned that before—how proud I am of you?”

“Once or twice.”

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