Starting quarterback.
This is my moment.
This isit.
But it’s jaded.
I should be elated. I should be shouting my excitement from the rooftops, but every time I think about it, a feeling of déjà vu hits me and my stomach sinks.
It’s like college repeating itself and it doesn’t feel right. Once again, I haven’t earned the position. I got it by default. And last time karma came in the form of Summer leaving and my parents struggling to afford my college fees until I thankfully secured an athletic scholarship. This time, who knows.
“Congratulations, man. What an achievement for a rookie,” one of the seasoned wide receivers says, patting me on the back. “I have no doubt you’re going to kill it; it’s been a pleasure to practice with you.”
His words do nothing to ease my mind, but I don’t show it. “You meanweare going to kill it.” I smile brightly, giving him a fist bump as I smile. “Dream team right here.”
“Hell, yes!” Others join us and I’m engulfed in more warmth than I ever could have imagined.Warmth I’m not sure I deserve.
But I take it anyway, because it comes with drinks. And that’s what I need right now.
The night goes on, and the later it gets, the more my worries drift away until I’m just as excited as the rest of my teammates.
“Tho-mas. Tho-mas. Tho-mas.”
I laugh as the guys chant my name, before grabbing a shot from the counter and positioning it at the chest of the girl in front of me. I think her name is Brenda.Or maybe she just looks like a Brenda. But what does a Brenda look like? Either way, I’m going in.
“I’m gonna need you to push those tits together and stay still.” I wink as she flips her red hair over her shoulder and does as asked, securing the shot between her billowing breasts.
She lifts to her toes as I bend down, wrapping my lips around the glass before tipping my head back, loving the feel of the liquid as it burns down my throat. I’ve barely had time to lick my lips before she thrusts her tongue in my mouth and grabs the hair at the nape of my neck, pulling a guttural groan from within me.
My eyes roll closed as someone yells, “Fuck, yeah,” and I can’t stop my following smile.
The beat of the music swirls through my mind, the notes dancing with colors, and my senses take control. When the alcohol hits, my head lolls back as I sway my body, only mildly conscious of the people surrounding me, until a warm breath tickles my cheek, snapping me from my haze.
“You want to get out of here?” the girl I’ve named Brenda whispers in my ear before sucking my lobe between her lips. A shiver runs through me as my smile widens.
“Hell, yes,” I say, taking a step back. “But first…I need to piss.”
Without waiting for a response, I turn and bump shoulders with Adam, pulling him into a hug, my bodily functions forgotten. “Adam! My man! Where have you been?”
Adam smiles as he rocks slightly, unable to keep his balance. “You look happy,” he says, reaching out to squeeze my arm.
“You know what, Adam? Iamhappy. I’ve been looking at everythingallwrong,” I tell him as I grip his shoulder, leaning forward to whisper. “Thiswas meant to be. I’m meant to take Colton’s place next week. To show the coaches what I’m capable of.”
Adam nods but otherwise gives me nothing, so I explain it more clearly. “I’ve spoken to Colton, and he admitted he’s only got a few years left, five at max. If he sticks to that… it’s gonna be me.” I laugh to myself as the NSYNC song plays in my head until I remember Summer loves that song and push it all from my mind. “I’mgoing to make it happen,” I say instead, patting Adam on the back with my free hand.
Adam smiles as he nods this time but his brows furrow, and when he sways again, it makes me dizzy.
“You alright there, Adam?” I ask, gripping him tighter to still him.
Adam’s face scrunches as he turns me around, perching me on the edge of the stool someone just vacated. “I’m fine. Are you?” I hear Brenda giggle and reach behind me to give her waist a squeeze.
“I’m on top of the world.” I throw my hands in the air. “Let’s have another drink to celebrate.”
When I wake the next morning, I’m surprised to find myself alone, especially with the smell of perfume lingering in the air and flashes of long, red hair still present in my mind.
And while I can’t remember how I got home, or what time I stumbled into my apartment, there’s water on my bedside tablewith two Tylenol beside the glass, which I know I didn’t put there. I’m not that thoughtful.
Knocking back the water and pills, I throw on some shorts and make my way to the kitchen, startling when I find Adam standing at my coffee machine, pouring himself a cup.