Page 144 of A Sky Full Of Stars

When the lyrics begin, Lainey spins before throwing herself into the dance, moving around the stage with so much feeling it’s impossible to look away. Her expression cracks, as though every move is shattering her heart, and I want to comfort her. But she’s playing a part and she’s playing it perfectly. These aren’t the ballet moves I always envisioned her performing, butshe’s still graceful, and there’s something raw about her style, something more powerful. She looks free.

She’sdancing.

My heart pounds in my chest as I watch her. Unmoving, I’m trapped by the power she’s always held over me. Only this time it feels different. This time, I don’t want to disappear into her world. I don’t want to use her strength to build my own. This time, I want to join her, I want to be the man that deserves to stand by her side, and I want the world to know about it.

As the first chorus hits, another dancer walks slowly onto the stage, his eyes firmly locked on Lainey’s every move, just like the rest of us. The song builds, and she runs across the floor, leaping into his arms as her body collapses like she’s breaking. He spins her to face him before dipping her back, their bodies connected as the tips of her fingers touch the stage.

They dance with so much emotion, so much passion, you’d think they were a couple. But they’re not…I don’t think. They’re telling a story. The push and pull, the fighting, the making up, the way he holds her, the way she rolls around on the floor. The way they communicate with their moves. It’s meant to entertain, sure, but it’s so much more than that. It’s designed to turn you on, to increase your endorphins, make you smile, flirt.Stay. It’s adult entertainment at its finest. But fuck, it’s incredible.She’sincredible. And I’ve never seen anything like this.

Lainey’s flawless. I’m in awe. I’m mesmerized.

And I’m completely fucked.

They say love can slap you in the face when you least expect it, and while I’ve known how I felt about Lainey for a long time, right now, I feel like I’ve been sucker punched multiple times. Because I never realized just how far I’d fallen.

There is no going back for me. She’s it. And there’s a good chance I missed my shot.

Years ago.

Her song finishes, and yet, I stare ahead at the darkened stage, completely blown away, my heart lodged in my throat. And it’s not until the lights come back on that I snap out of it and immediately lift my whiskey back to my lips but hold off on taking a sip, putting it back on the bar instead.

I’m not sure what I just witnessed, but I know it was pure magic.

A small part of me even feels like I should be jealous, but I’m too focused on Lainey and her story to care about the fact that she was with another man. Nothing could have pulled me from that moment.

I order another drink, a soda this time, and sigh as my racing pulse slows. But when I overhear the servers discussing Lainey taking over at the bar, a fresh wave of emotion flows through me. Just the mention of her name has my entire body tensing, and while I’m sure that’s the idea behind this club—that they want people to feel something—thisis so much more.

I don’t move for a bit, the weight of my thoughts keeping my body pressed into the chair, but when I see Lainey walking out from backstage, I stand. Now wearing a different dress, with her pink hair tied up and her face flush from the dance, she’s difficult to look away from. She has a just-fucked look about her, and more than anything I want to be the one putting that look on her face. Every. Day. Multiple times.

Every inch of my body and soul wants to go to her, to fall to my knees and beg her to forgive me, to demand she be mine. But she asked me to stay away until she’d finished, so that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’m willing to endure thetorture.

As everyone around her sings her praises, she smiles brightly, clearly in her element, but I see the way her eyes subtly bounce around the room, looking for someone. Looking forme. And while I’d desperately love to get her attention, I won’t ruin it for her. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it.

Escaping to a quiet corner, I sit back, watching her like a voyeur, mentally taking note of everything she does, taking stock of every laugh, every smile, every frown, desperate to catch up on years of her life—to know everything about her.

And as I do, I fall harder.

She spends a full hour smiling and flirting with everyone she serves and yet…I want her more than I want anything in this life. I’ve been so fucking blind, because none of these feelings are foreign to me. I’ve felt them foryears. ForLainey. I’m only now realizing what they mean. And it explains so much. It’s why I haven’t been able to move on. It’s her.

Another dancer approaches her at the bar, and they talk for a moment before Lainey takes off her apron and leaves, immediately walking backstage.

The music slows, but my heart continues to race at the thought of finally getting to talk to her, to touch her, to show her and everyone here that she’staken. Even though she’s not.

I slowly drink my now warm soda as I wait, and when I see her next, she’s on the dance floor, being pulled into the arms of another man. But like earlier, it doesn’t affect me. There’s no one else in the room but us, and it’s time she knew I was here.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Lainey

Agorgeous specimen of a man approaches me at the bar, but it’s like my ability to flirt is broken. It’s been happening since Thomas blew back into my life. I only saw him for a matter of hours combined, duringbothhis visits, but it ruined me. And it’s so much worse now that I know he’s here. Watching me. Standing in the shadows.Judging me.

“You were amazing up there,” the guy says, pointing to the stage. “Are you performing again? Or done for the night?”

My smile widens, but on the inside I’m sweating, trying hard not to run.

When Thomas texted me earlier, I considered making up an excuse for not seeing him, but after our talk last weekend, I changed my mind.

And I’m glad I did.

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