Page 136 of A Sky Full Of Stars

“Thomas.” Someone shakes me, making me nauseous. “Thomas, wake up.”

I open my eyes to find a blurred version of Nate inches from my face, his expression marred with concern. “Fuck. What happened?” he asks, the volume of his voice wavering.

My eyes roll shut, but he shakes me awake again, lifting me to prop up against the wall. “Wake the fuck up,” he yells, his hands on my shoulders as I feel him lean in close. “We need to get you out of here. Somewhere more private.”

I couldn’t give a fuck who sees me right now, unless it’s Lainey, but I let him lift me, and attempt to walk as he leads me to his truck. When I’m settled inside, my head drops to the window and I groan. “Fuuuck.”

“Thomas, you’re a mess. I thought things had changed. I thought—”

“Why can’t I stop it? It’s been years…years…and it’s still there. Eating away at me.”

“What’s there? What can’t you stop?”

“I just want the hurt gone. The pain I keep inflicting.”

“I don’t think—”

“God, she’s so beautiful. I saw her. I saw Lainey, and she was more beautiful than I remembered. But she’s so sad. And I did that. I put that frown there and I didn’t call her. I never tried to take it away.”

“Thomas, I think you should talk to someone or—”

A horn blares, silencing his words and snapping me out of my head. My eyes roam in confusion until I find Nate, seeing him properly for the first time.

“Fuck, what am I doing?” I groan, wrestling around to secure my belt. “I’m good. Sorry, man.”

“Don’t be sorry. Thomas—”

“It’s the alcohol talking,” I slur. “Ignore me.”

“Thomas, wake the fuck up,” Nate snaps, his calm demeanor shifting. “You need to wake the fuck up and do something.”

My eyes narrow as I stare at him in shock until I realize he’s right.Fuck, I need to be better. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yep. Yeah. I’m good.”

Nate stares at me for a second before he nods, seemingly believing my words, probably just hoping I’ll stop talking.

“Good,” he says wearily. “Come on, I’ll take you back to my place. You can stay in the spare room and—”

“No! Take me to Summer’s.” If Lainey’s there, I want the chance to see her.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“I won’t hurt her again, Nate.Never. I need to change. I need…” I trail off, my throat clogging with emotion.

“Whatever you need, man. I’m here. Call me anytime. But don’t mess with Lainey again. Not unless you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. I’m going to get better. For her. It’s always been her.”

Chapter Forty-Six

Lainey

Ispent the weeks after seeing Thomas teetering on the edge of self-doubt, my mind grappling to hold on to the happiness I had when I first returned from my travels. While in reality, I feel like I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me.

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