Page 48 of Loved By You

“... so, I need to go back to the pharmacy and get some, but Elle is screaming and Lexi won't put shoes on and…”

I’m up on my feet, walking towards the cupboard to grab a change of clothes before she finishes her sentence.

“Ri, stay where you are. I'm going to get the Tylenol and bring it over.” Wedging the phone under my chin, I unbutton my shirt to change into some gray joggers, a black tee, and some tennisshoes. I learned from my last visit not to wear my expensive suits when seeing the girls.

“Jack, don't be ridiculous. You’re at work, and I’m just getting the girls in the car now. I’m fine.”

“Ri, let me help you… Please,” I reply, my tone pleading.

There's a pause, as if she is contemplating my offer. As if on cue, Elle lets out a shrill cry and I can hear Lexi in the background saying she can't find her sparkly shoes.

“Uh, okay… okay, if you’re sure.”

“Yes I’m sure. Text me what you need and I'll swing by the pharmacy.”

“You’re a lifesaver… thank you.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

I pull up at CVS and head inside, armed with the list Ria texted me.

Baby Tylenol, teething powder, and size 4 diapers.

I head to the aisle that has a sign saying ‘baby’.

What the hell?

There are about five different brands of diapers. I can't even find the teething powder, and the Tylenol comes in two flavors. Bending down and narrowing my eyes at all the different boxes, rubbing my forehead, I feel my heart rate begin to rise, anxiety settling in.

I don't want to mess this up and let her down.

It must look like I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and clearly a fish out of water because an older lady in a white pharmacist coat comes over and offers to help me.

I tell her what I need and she shows me.

“What brand does your baby wear, dear?” I don't want to appear like an idiot or tell this random lady that I’m not buying for my baby, and I’m buying for my friend’s little sister, who is currently going through a divorce, and I have feelings for her and am desperate to spend time with her, so I’m here trying to decide if I should buy Huggies, Pampers or some brand with a creepy looking baby on it.

“Ooohhhh, ermmmmm, well, we are in between brands, so I'll get one of each.”

The lady gives me a knowing smile. She knows I'm full of shit and pats me on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, dear. Lots of dads don't know the brands of the diapers their baby wears.”

I smile back, not correcting her that Elle isn't my baby.

Is it weird that a part of me wishes she was? That they were both mine… all three of them?

I pay for the items plus a bunch of other stuff the woman suggested to help Elle. I head out of CVS and next door is a Starbucks. I know damn well Ria hasn't eaten today because she wouldn't have thought to put herself first, so I grab her favorite vanilla latte, a breakfast bagel for each of us, and of course, cake pops for Lexi.

I head out and place it all on the passenger seat of my Audi. The sun has finally peaked through the clouds and I reach into the back seat and grab my black baseball cap. I glance at myself in my rearview mirror; I forgot to shave this morning. I run my hand over the five o'clock shadow across my jawline and take a deep breath. Mentally preparing myself to see Ria, a mixture of nerves and excitement.

Less than ten minutes later, I’m pulling into the driveway of her house. Exiting the car I give her neighbor, who is tending to her front lawn, a little wave. Opening the passenger door andreaching in to grab the Starbucks bag and the three bags from CVS.

Jeez, bought a lot of shit.

I step onto Ria's white wooden porch and before I take a second step, Lexi comes flying out the front door and runs towards me.

“ Jaaaaccckkkkkk.”

“Careful, Lexi girl, I've got hot coffee for your mommy.”

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