Page 92 of Tame Me

‘Debauched dance parties with beautiful women?’

‘That’s what you immediately picture?’ My mood lightens more and I laugh. ‘You see me and think sexy dancing?’

She blushes delightfully. My smile just gets bigger and I’m half tempted to dance towards her right now. Her inexperience and unexplored desire and passionate curiosity intrigue me. Because I also know she’s an extremist—it’s evident in the hours she works, the lengths she goes to—misguidedly sometimes—to look after those she loves. She’s either all in or she’s all out.

In some respects I’m the same. Physically I want all in. But while the chemistry between us crackles I’m wary about dealing with it. Usually sex is uncomplicated. Desire is transient. Once it’s sated I move on and I’ve stayed on good terms with many of the women I’ve slept with. Because emotional boundaries don’t get crossed. I make sure there are no expectations, offer no ‘relationship’—I’ve no interest in that burden. Because it is a burden.

So surely I could sleep with her again and us remain pleasant in parenting Lukas? The problem is she’s untrusting too. She’s been hurt by her past and I can’t be sure she wouldn’t turn and try to block me out once we’re done. I never want Lukas to witness a war like that of my parents.

I think Talia believes in happy families as little as I do. So I’ve got to resist the temptation to touch her. We’ll keep things calm and serene and safe. I’ll never make her some impossible-to-keep promise. Because the only thing I’m certain of is the impermanence of any affair.

I step forward and lift Lukas from the car, carrying him while I take Talia on a quick tour.

‘The parties are purely for business,’ I explain. ‘I need to be engaged with the community—keep the profile up. So there are charity balls, philanthropic events.’ I can’t resist walking near enough for our shoulders to brush. ‘The beautiful and the wealthy attend. Future and current clients.’

To be honest I probably should have one soon. It’s been a while since I have and it would be a way of revealing Talia and Lukas are in my life—at least to those I work most closely with. They’re better off being informed directly by me rather than by the inevitable whisperings and speculation that will begin. But it doesn’t have to happen this weekend or anything. We all need to settle in together first.

I lead her through the atrium and into the first of the living areas—the one with the view over the pool and tennis court.

‘Do you play tennis? Swim?’ I ask. ‘There’s a home gym, yoga room and sauna as well. Use any of them any time.’ I want her to feel comfortable here. ‘There’s a home cinema too—’

‘You have everything you could ever want.’ She doesn’t look comfortable. ‘You never need to leave the place if you don’t want to.’

‘Right.’ I tense a little. Because yeah, that was part of it. Full privacy.

‘You know I want to keep working,’ she says in a low voice.

‘I know.’ I inhale deeply. At that comment I can’t wait any longer and can only hope my assistants have been as efficient as they usually are. ‘On that, I have something to show you in the pool room.’

She shoots me a wary glance. I’m actually nervous, which is ridiculous. Still carrying Lukas, I walk past the tennis court and the pool to the low building at the back.

‘This is the pool room,’ I explain.

‘It’s a whole otherhouse.’

I smile because that’s actually true. It’s a three-bedroom cottage.

‘Do you want me to live in here rather than the main house?’ she asks.

A flash of guilt makes me flinch. When I first thought about her moving here I considered that, but now there’s no way. ‘I think we both need to be near Lukas at night and he’ll definitely be in the main house.’

I lead her to the large kitchen usually reserved for pizza parties and pool refreshments and let her walk in ahead of me.

‘I’ve had my assistant set a few things up, but you can change the layout and of course you can exchange any items if there’s another brand of equipment that you prefer.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ Her eyes are huge as she slowly turns on the spot.

I lean against the doorjamb and feel a smug satisfaction for the first time in days. I’ve shocked—and pleased—her. It feels good. I want to please her some more. I want to see her smile and her skin flush and hear her light laughter.

She runs her hand lightly over the gleaming chrome of the brand-new Italian espresso machine. It’s a commercial one with so many levers I wouldn’t know where to start, but she clearly does because she whispers its name beneath her breath with the reverence of meeting a deity. Watching her makes me smile harder.

Then she sees the double camera set-up—the rotating mount so she can film directly above the polished counter-top and get that bird’s eye view, and the other camera on a free-standing tripod. There are diffusers and other technical gear so she can get the exact lighting she needs. There are smaller boxes that I told my staff to leave unopened because I thought she might like to enjoy unwrapping them herself—it’s crockery and tools for any kind of coffee shoot she can think of. She’s speechless but that doesn’t mean I can’t read her mind on this.

‘I know your channel is important to you,’ I say. ‘This way you can keep making content while being here at home with Lukas. It will do for now, right?’

Her wide-eyed gaze turns troubled. ‘You hate social media.’

‘Well, I didn’t thinkI’dbe in your videos.’ I smile at her.

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