Page 119 of Tame Me

The crowd. Chloe. Maybeme.

Talia’s always wanted to protect her sister—not wanting Ava to feel guilty that she had to work so hard to help her. I have the horrible feeling she’s trying to do the same for me. Because apparently she loves me.

I suck in a scalding breath because I know she lies. But the truth is so do I. I keep my true feelings close so they can’t be used against me. I don’t let many people into my life on an intimate level. It’s always seemed pragmatic. Really it’s cowardice.

Talia used to be a coward too. She lied most to those she’s closest to. To the people she doesn’t want to hurt and who she doesn’t want to hurt her—her sister especially. But she promised not to lie to me no matter what. She promised not to hold back any part of the truth from me either.

It hurts that she has.

But her declaration of love didn’t feel like a lie. It felt like a truthtormentingher. Something she could no longer hold back. And it was that pain that I reacted to—as fundamentally, instinctively, emotionally as I always do. I pushed back on it. Pushed it away.Heraway.

In Talia’s world she really thought she was doing me a favour but I still can hardly make sense of it. Because if she really loved me, why would she want to walk out on me?Howcould she? Surely if she loved me she could never leave me? Because I realise now—stupidly and terrifyingly—thatIcould never leaveher.

I stop walking and try to still my racing thoughts because I’m struggling to think straight. I can’t ever seem to stop and think straight. Not about her. My rational brain is never bloody involved—only the animal brain is. The lust part. The fearful part. And it’s always just pushed me to action—emotionally driven action that I can barely control. Mostly I’ve been compelled to reach out and touch her. To take her in my arms. I’ve been possessive as hell from the moment I first saw her.

I want her to be mine. Just as Lukas is mine.

I could never leave him. I love him. But she knows that latter. She understands it. But she doesn’t know the first. My heart squeezes and breathing becomes really bloody difficult. Talia’s never had stability. Ever. She needs it more than anyone. I thought she needed it to be tangible—the house, the workspace, the life insurance. I tried to let her know that no matter what happens she and Lukas will be okay. They’ll always have everything they need. But she wants more. The stability she really craves is emotional.

Talia has long hidden her needs from the people she loves. Hid her problems from everyone as best she could. She tried to manage alone for years—as if she didn’t think she had the right to openly ask for help or comfort or anything she really needs.

But that night in the gondola she didn’t hide from me. She admitted her fears and she voiced her needs and I gave her what she wanted. What she needed. Which was simply myself. My time. My body. My complete attention.

I’d do it again. I always will. I will give her anything and everything she asks of me. What’s mine is hers.

Iam hers.

But tonight she asked and I didn’t hear her. She told me she loved me but she didn’t want anything else from me. Nothing else. She tried to minimise herself. She shrank in front of me because she didn’t think thatIcould ever offer her the same.

That’s not the Talia I want to see. Ever. I want angry Talia. Feisty Talia. Resilient Talia who does what she wants and needs to. She can’t shrink. She’s my whole world and I donotwant her vanishing out of it. Ever.

I want her to say it again. I don’t want her keeping anything back from me. I want her to trust me. I ache for that. But admitting that I want her. Need her. That’s scary.

But shedidthings for those she loves too—she helped Ava. She protected Ava by not wanting her to worry.

What she did tonight told me so much—I just needed the space to think it through. She pre-emptively pushed me away because she thinks I don’t love her. Because she thinks I’m with her only out of a sense of duty. It isn’t duty. It’s an undeniable ache that’s assuaged only when I’m close to her. When I laugh with her. When I lie in bed with her. When I’m near her.

It’s heartache. And I’m in trouble.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Talia

IWAKEANDBLINK. I’m in a room I don’t recognise. Then memory bites.

I moved my backpack to the pool house last night. I don’t know if or when Dain came home. I barely slept but heard nothing. I was too busy replaying that horrific conversation. I told him I love him. He tore me to shreds.

It hurts. I wipe the tears from my eyes but they keep spilling. Endless silent tears. It’s very early but I need to see Lukas. I look an embarrassing mess, but the nanny won’t say anything. She’s the latest of Dain’s utterly discreet employees—contracted and paid a fortune to keep silent on his personal business because he doesn’t trust anyone.

I warily walk through the house. It’s quiet and feels ominously empty and my heart skips—what if he’s taken him? Surely he wouldn’t. He loves Lukas. He wants what’s best for him and he knows that means both of us in our son’s life. I pass my bedroom door. It’s open and it’s obvious I didn’t sleep in there last night. The staff probably assume I was in Dain’s room anyway.

But Lukas’s room is empty too and I reach for the wall for support.

‘The nanny’s taken him for a walk,’ Dain says from behind me. ‘He’s already had breakfast.’

I jump and turn. My pulse spikes at the sight of him. He’s in jeans and a tee. Not crumpled. Effortlessly elegant as always. The only hint of any strain is the stubble on his jaw and the shadow beneath his beautiful eyes. ‘Oh. Then I’ll go back...’

I can’t finish my sentence. I can’t keep looking at him. I drop my gaze to the floor and walk, talking myself through one step at a time. I just need to get away and I’ll be okay. Eventually.

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