Page 116 of Tame Me

I grip the back of a chair, even more horrified. Because put like that it sounds even worse than when it happened. I felt shamed and lost control—but it wasin front of others, when he desperatelyneedsprivacy in his personal life. I’ve jeopardised that just by existing. I remember those people taking photos outside the bar tonight. Dain isn’t going to get his minions to hunt out those pictures and have them taken down. He was presenting me because I’m Lukas’s mother—even if our togetherness is only to be temporary—and I’ve completely undermined his effort.

I denied that we have a relationship. My heart thuds as I make myself nod in agreement. Because yes, it was honest. Ineedit to be true. I need to push him away. I need to protect him. And myself.

His gaze darkens. ‘Have you forgotten that moments before arriving at that bar we’d been—?’

‘Of course I haven’t forgotten. That happening in that car is part of the problem.’ I draw a breath, but I still feel giddy. ‘I can’t want you that desperately.Youdon’t want that.’

He stops still. ‘I don’t?’

‘You don’t want commitment. You know our intimacy was only an interlude.’

There’s another moment—a flood of silence.

‘An interlude that you’ve decided is now over,’ he says very softly.

I make myself nod again. ‘We were just going to let it run, remember?’

His body goes taut. ‘You’d have been happy for her to flirt with me in front of you?’

My headache pounds.

He stares right into my eyes. ‘Do you really think I’d go from your arms to another woman in one evening?’ He lifts his chin. ‘That’s what you thought I did a year ago. And apparently nothing that’s happened in the last few days has done anything to change your opinion of me.’

I want to shrivel up.

‘Does it mean nothing to you that I was celibate for ayear?’ he asks.

I try to shrug. ‘That’s normal for me—’

‘But if you’d met someone else?’

‘I didn’t...’ I whisper. But I had chances. Handsome men came through the café all the time. Both before and after I had that night with him. But I was drawn to Dain in a way I’ve never been drawn to any other person.

‘Why are you still so willing to believe the worst of me?’ he asks.

He’s hurt. Really hurt. My emotions spin. I’m making everything worse. Handling this all so incredibly badly. He doesn’t deserveanyof this. He deserves so much more than I can give and the least I can offer him now is that truth. He should hear it directly from me. Because I do know how much honesty matters to him.

‘Tonight was a mistake,’ I mumble. ‘I lost control. It isn’t reallyyou...’

His pupils dilate. ‘I—’

‘No, actually it is you,’ I blurt in confusion. ‘I just really need to find a way to stop liking you.’

He stares at me. He doesn’t get it.

I inhale deeply but it doesn’t loosen that too tight, suffocating feeling in my chest. ‘I want you to behappy. You deserve to be happy.’

‘Wow—’

‘I want you to be free.’

‘We have a child together, Talia.’

‘Yes, but that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you want. Or being with whoever you want.’

‘So you thought you’d speed up the process by finding someone else for me to sleep with?’

‘Cheating is a hard line for me.’

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