Page 115 of Tame Me

I ignore Simone’s silent scrutiny and say nothing extra to her. I tell the bartenders to be liberal with the champagne. It might help everyone forget Talia’s comment. Except I don’t care about any of them or what they think any more. I just want to get out of here and home to her. I want to make sure shehasgone home.

Fear slices through me. I need to talk to her.But I need to regain control first. Good thing there’s a drive to endure. I count the seconds as my chauffeur speeds through the darkening streets but it doesn’t stop my brain from racing from one horrible thought to another.

I finally arrive back at the house. It’s dark. I grit my teeth and head upstairs hoping like hell she’s actually here.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Talia

I’MSUPPOSEDTObe sitting in some fancy theatre right now. Instead I’m pacing around my room. I can’t lie still because of the pounding on one side of my head. The killer headache is my own fault. I hadn’t drunk a whole real coffee in so long it really affected me. I doubled back to the bar from the café and got one of the barmen to pass a note to Dain before getting in a cab. Now I’m jittery and nauseous as hell and I can’t think what to do.

But my gut knows. My gut’s already made me take action.

He’s inspired strong feelings within me from the first. I’ve been passionate, possessive, jealous—yep, a whole gamut of intensity. But now I know everything I feel boils down to the one base element.Notlust. It’s much richer and deeper than that.

I’m in love with him.

And the longer I’m around him, the further in love I’m falling. Now I feel even more sick. I can’t let myself drown. I can’t want it all like this—because it’s an impossibility.

I’ve never felt as overwhelmed in my life as I did in that champagne bar with the blinding smiles and brilliant jewels and scintillating talk of things I know nothing about. My inferiority? I’ve never known it like that. I’m just not on his level. And to prove it I screwed up in seconds.

The door opens. I spin around to see him step inside. The floor bottoms out on me. I’ve no idea how I remain standing. That sickness builds in the pit of my stomach.

‘You didn’t go to the play?’ My mouth is so dry I croak the words.

‘I had a message that you weren’t feeling well.’ He leans back against the door to close it.

‘You still should’ve gone.’

He stares at me. His expression is unreadable but I sense his reproach.

‘You’re never going to believe that I might prioritise you,’ he says grimly. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?’

‘It’s a migraine. It came on suddenly,’ I mutter feebly.

‘Oh? Do you know what caused it?’

Not the coffee. Not even that stupid interaction with Chloe. She was merely the catalyst for my frustration and fear flaring. But I can’t entirely regret it because it forced this reckoning.

‘I can’t do this,’ I whisper helplessly. I can’t lie to him any more. Or to myself.

‘Do what?’ he asks silkily.

The shiver of danger emboldens me. It’s good that he’s angry, actually. It’ll make this easier. I’m wrong for him on so many levels and I don’t want him to be with me only because he’s afraid I’ll cut him out of Lukas’s life. I could never do that.

I know he’s used to that denial—of time, attention, love. So am I. We’re both damaged. We’ve both been denied. But he’s worked so hard to make this work for me. He wants to be in Lukas’s life and even though he has all the money, all that power, he, like me, fears loss of control. That his family, any emotional support or connection, could be taken away at any time. That he’ll be shut out. He’s as insecure as I am. So he’s done everything in his power to make life here perfect for me. He’s pleasured me over and over and over again. And I’m devastated. Because he felt hehadto. Not because helovesme. Sure, he likes sleeping with me and we even have a laugh together but at heart he’s only doing what he feels he must to shore up his own defences and protect his son. I understand it completely. It’s what I’d have done too. The exact same thing. Pleasing. Working so hard to keep him happy. But things have changed for me. I want the fairy tale.

But he doesn’t. And if he ever did, it he ought to be with someone who’s his match. Someone who fits in this world. Someone who he feels strongly enough for to reconsider his position on commitment.

He stares at me as I stay silent. ‘You talked to Chloe. Did she say something that bothered you?’

I bite my lip. ‘I made a flippant comment.’ My stomach twists.

‘Is that what you call it?’

‘Maybe I was too honest with her.’

‘Honest?’He steps towards me. ‘Is that what it was? When you told her in front of everyone that you’re merely Lukas’s mother and that there’s still time for one of them to make a move? When you publicly denied a relationship with me?’

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