Page 54 of Repluse

I had absolutely no plans to get a train anyway. I know he thinks all forms of public transport, except for those involving a car, are beneath him and his family, but I just wanted to push his buttons.

“Okay, what time’s my appointment? I can’t remember.” I know it’s at three-thirty because I received a text reminder from the clinic. I just want to reassure him that I’m still a dumb little housewife who can’t think for herself and even relies on him to remind her of her appointments.

“Three-thirty, and I’ve got somewhere else I need to be.”

“I assumed you were busy when you didn’t call.”

“Yeah, I had to go up to Queensland for a couple of days. I’m still there but going to try and get home in the morning and come and spend the weekend with you. You don’t have your period do you?”

My gut churns so violently, I have to close my eyes against the assault and swallow down the bile rising in my throat before I can answer with a lie.

“I actually do. That’s why I couldn’t sleep last night. I’m bleeding really heavily, and the cramps are crippling me.”

“But you’re not due for another twelve days according to the tracker. This should be the perfect time.”

“I know, baby, and I’m sorry. Doctor Spencer did say my periods could be all over the place for up to a year after coming off the pill, remember? I did tell you that.”

“This is fucking bullshit. You’re never going to get pregnant at his rate!”

That’s the plan, cockhead. If he wants a baby so badly, why doesn’t he just knock Alice up?

“It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. Stop stressing. You still going to come and stay the weekend?”Please, please don’t.

“Not really any point if you’re cramping and bleeding out all over the place. Have your bruises faded?”

I fist pump the air in silent celebration before turning my cutesy voice back on. “They look pretty ugly right now. They’ve turned yellow.”

“You may as well stay there another week then. Your stitches should start to dissolve soon, and the bruises should’ve faded by then. If your bleeding stops before then, call me, and I’ll come visit.”

I pull a face at that prospect and give a silent shudder. “Okay. Miss you.”

“Yeah,” is the reply I get before he hangs up.

It’s not until my hand and my head hurt simultaneously that I realise I’m gripping the phone as tightly as I’m clenching my jaw.

Leaning back into my pillows, I contemplate what the fuck I’m doing with my life.

Like, seriously. What the actual fuck? How do I really think this is all likely to end up?

My husband only wants me for my uterus, and Sam and Frankie for my vagina, arsehole, and mouth. I know my husband’s long-term plans for me, but what about the other two? Exactly what am I doing? It’s not like the three of us are going to skip off into the sunset together, happily sharing a bed for the rest of our lives. What happens when they get tired of filling my orifices? They’re partners in a sex club. No doubt theyhave their pick of women— or men, in Frankie’s case. Maybe both, or what-the-fuck-ever.

“Gah!” I bang my head against my pillow and shout out my frustrations. I’m so fucking sick of being beholden to men.

“Well, you made your bed, Mila Grace, and as uncomfortable as it is, now you’re just going to have to lay in it,” I say out loud to the universe, but mostly to myself as I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed.

My smart watch vibrates, letting me know I have an incoming call from Frankie on my back-up phone.

Sam had the bright idea that I sync it to my watch so I wouldn’t miss their calls while it was on silent. I pull it out from under the mattress and swipe to answer.

“Hey,” I answer flatly.

“Who pissed in your Weet-Bix?”

“Where shall I start?” I say on a sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“What are we doing, the three of us? What the fuck is it that we’re actually doing? We’ve had this thing, this fuck fest or whatever it is you want to call it, going for a week. A fucking week, and you two are acting like a pair of alpha doms from a romance novel, making out like you care, and I’m just wondering… where are we going with all this? What’s the long-term fucking plan here?”

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