Page 55 of Heartless

I pull away from the conversation, go into his office, and look out the window while the two of them discuss another meeting they need to have.

Will he be comfortable with me working here around him?

Am I trading in one insecurity for another?

How long have they been fucking?

***

“What?”

“You heard me! I asked how long you have been fucking her?”

We’re in the middle of another disastrous dinner. Onyx’s jaw ticks, and he balls up his napkin and tosses it onto the table.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you.”

“You’re not going to answer my question?”

“No!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s insane. You’re fucking insane, Meadow. You were rude to the woman, barely acknowledging her or answering her questions. It’s not like she didn’t have work that she needed to be doing, but being courteous, she came and talked to you until I returned.”

“I didn’t ask to be entertained, Onyx. I’m your wife! I don’t need her babysitting me.”

“She wasn’t babysitting you. Just being courteous to the CEO’s wife! Now, when we get home, you have the nerve to ask if I’m cheating on you?”

“A question you refuse to answer.”

“No, I refuse to answer to ignorance!”

“It’s not ignorant, Onyx! You’ve been acting strangely lately. Now that I’ve seen the two of you together, I know why. I see how she looks at you and how you work hard as hell to avoid looking at her. When you think that I’m not looking, that’s when you sneak a peek in her direction!” I shout, getting up to follow him upstairs.

The dinner, dishes, and dessert are forgotten as I chase behind him to the guest bedroom, where he starts undressing.

“I’m not doing this with you. You’re delusional.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the one that has become insecure, Meadow. I’ve done nothing to make you that way. Nothing. I’m committed to this marriage. Are you?”

I can hear the chill in his voice as clearly as I can hear the shaking of his voice. He’s struggling to keep his composure and not shout at me. Onyx doesn’t like arguing, and I generally don’t either, but I’m ready to start a war now.

I don’t even know why when I’m the one who’s been backing him into a corner.

“Of course I am! How dare you ask me that?”

“I dare because you’ve kicked me out of the bedroom, and we can’t even have simple conversations anymore, let alone discuss how we ended up here. I dare because you freeze up whenever I touch you! And when you do have sex with me, it’s cold and passionless!”

“I’m stressed out! It has nothing to do with you, Onyx!”

“Doesn’t it? Because I’m your husband, and if you won’t let me in, let me protect you, let me love you, then what am I even doing here?”

His body bristles with rage as his fists clench at his side, and his burnished bronze skin turns a deep shade of red. Onyx’s jaw clenches so tightly I’m scared he’ll break a tooth. His chest heaves up and down as he glares at me, and I can tell that he’s holding on by a thread.

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