Page 4 of Heartless

“Go home and make your own memories,” I tease them as I allow Onyx to pull me away.

On our way out the door, I catch a glimpse of the woman who was flirting with him. She winks at me and smirks before I turn away.

I’m accustomed to this. Women flirt with my husband all the time, and some even try to pose a threat as they slip their numbers to him right in front of my face. In the beginning, it unnerved me, but it no longer bothers me now.

Besides, Onyx reassures me with his love, his patience, and his attentiveness to me.

“You good?” he asks as we’re pulling out of the parking lot.

He takes my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing my knuckles reassuringly.

“Always, love.”

He smiles and turns his attention out the window onto the dark road ahead.

“What about everything else?”

Sighing, I shake my head. “It’ll happen in time, you know?”

Slipping his hand from mine, he reaches over and places his hand against my belly. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last year of our two-year marriage, and nothing has happened.

We thought we were successful and were going to take a pregnancy test in a couple of days since I was late but my cycle came this morning, one week late.

I hadn’t wanted to be around anyone or go out for our monthly couples’ date night after that happened, but Onyx convinced me that I didn’t need to remain in the house sulking. He’d also pointed out that our friends and in-laws would be disappointed if we didn’t show up.

“I’m sorry, baby. Why don’t we stop focusing on trying to have a baby right now?” Onyx suggests, and my heart falls.

“Why?” I ask, turning sideways in the seat to face him.

“Just...maybe we need to just enjoy being married for a while longer. Enjoy living and let it come when it’s supposed to.”

“Who’s to say how long that will be?”

“We can’t control it either, though, MJ. It’ll happen, baby,” he says, picking up my hand again and interlocking our fingers.

“You don’t want a baby?” I ask him softly.

“It’s not that I don’t want a family. You know that I do. I want a bunch of little Onyx’s and MJs filling our house up, running, laughing, and tearing shit up. What I don’t want is to see you hurting and deep in your feelings the way that you are. Every time you get your cycle, you go into this place that I know hurts you deeply. I don’t want that for you.”

Shaking my head, I say, “It’s finally happening for Poppy.”

Onyx releases my hand again and grips the steering wheel. I know that he’s battling his frustrations with my comparison.

“Don’t do that. You know how much I hate it when you compare us with anyone else. Our journey is our own and not to be compared with anyone else’s.”

We drive along in silence for several more minutes until we pull into our driveway. Onyx presses the button to open the garage and drives inside.

When I reach for the handle, he grabs my other hand and stills me.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I just hate that everything has to be about the baby. I mean, shit, can’t I just fuck my wife sometimes for the sake of fucking?”

“Do you have to be so crude, Onyx?”

“I’m just frustrated right now.”

“Well, you’re not making it any better.”

He leans his head against the seat rest and sighs. “Look, our journey is good enough for me. It’s okay that we’re where we are, and all things will happen in time. Poppy has wanted a baby for years. She was married to Bryan for a long time, and it didn’t happen.”

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