Page 45 of Heartless

There are three missed calls from Meadow and a text message.

Meadow:Just checking to see if you’re coming home or if I should put the alarm on.

I call, but she doesn’t answer. I feel like such a bastard. Flooring the Porsche, I head back to the other side of town, praying everything’s all right. I call her two more times but she doesn’t answer.

By the time that I arrive home, I go into the bedroom and check on Meadow and find that she’s sleeping. After my shower, I climb into bed and curl around her.

“Stop,” she says, and I know that she wasn’t asleep after all. “Could you just...not in here? Not tonight.”

“Yeah,” I say.

I get up from the bed and head into the guest room. I have no idea that this is setting the course for things to come.

11 – MEADOW

“How long will you be gone this time, Onyx?” I ask.

“Four days max, MJ. What’s the problem?” Onyx asks, setting his laptop on the ottoman at his feet.

“You’re always gone. I thought once the global expansion ended that you’d be home more.”

“MJ, I am home. I’m home more often than I’m not. Nick, Janice, Mia, and Mike have been making these trips overseas so that I can stay closer to home. I can’t keep making up excuses to send them instead of me on these trips.”

“Isn’t that what you pay them for?”

“No. I should be the one making these trips. Not them, but they do it when I ask, and they don’t question me. They want to be home with their families, too. This new project that I’m taking on won’t require me to be gone as long as some of the overseas projects.”

“Okay, fine,” I say, walking out of the den.

I hear him moving around, and I know that he’s coming after me. I’ve made a habit of walking away from arguments that I start lately. Realistically, I know that I’m tripping, but it’s so hard to let go of the pain and the frustration.

“It’s not fine, MJ. What’s going on?” he asks, following me into the kitchen where I head to the sink to rinse off tonight’s dinner dishes.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?” he pleads.

“Everything.”

“I’m happy that you’re beginning to admit your fears. It gives me hope that perhaps you’ll let me in this time. But honey, I need you to be specific. What are you afraid of?”

“Of being alone, okay? I’m always worried that someone will break in when you’re gone. I feel that way when you’re at work during the day. Now you’re going to be gone for almost a week. I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.”

Sighing, he drags his hand down his face.

“Look, MJ. This was never an issue for us before. How am I supposed to work when I have to stay home at your side to make sure that you’re okay? This is why you need counseling.”

“What’s that going to do?”

“Get you back to the frame of mind that you were in before the assault. Or at least compartmentalize some things so you can decipher the rational from the irrational.”

“I don’t need to talk to anyone, Onyx. I need my husband.”

“Today. But yesterday, it was all ‘get away from me.’ What’s it going to be tomorrow, MJ? Because honestly, you’re fickle as hell and where I once thought I knew you, I realize now that I don’t know you at all anymore.”

“I just want you here with me while I work through this!” I toss a cup in the sink and turn to face him.

“I have a corporation to run, and I can’t run it staying at home day in and out.”

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