Page 47 of Heartless

My husband’s mouth drops open, and his eyes widen as he walks closer to me.

“What?”

Nodding, I say, “He told me that the Maxwells, your father and uncle specifically, walk all over people. He says men like them don’t notice men like him. He says that he decided to get to your dad indirectly through me.”

“Are you serious?”

I nod.

“Why are you just now telling me this?” he asks, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me.

“Because I...I knew that you would go back to your father and tell him what happened. I didn’t want them to know what happened to me. I don’t want anyone pitying me.”

Onyx’s sand-colored face turns red. Baring his teeth, he says, “That’s not the only reason that you didn’t tell me, is it?”

I close my eyes, and he shakes me.

“Stop!” I scream.

Onyx backs up several steps with his hands in the air. “I can’t do this. How in the fuck can I protect you when you don’t trust me to protect you or trust me with your truth? Don’t even trust me to touch you.”

Tears spring to my eyes because I know that he’s telling the truth.

“The reason you didn’t tell me was because you didn’t want to admit that you believed your father was right. I know what he said about me and my family because he’s said it to me on numerous occasions. You don’t want to admit that I was a mistake.”

I bite my bottom lip as Onyx grows blurred through my teary vision.

“I’m sorry, Onyx.”

Ignoring my comment, he says, “I’ll find out who the bastard is, and he’ll pay. I swear to God, I will. In the meantime, you need to figure out what you want from me. If I can’t protect you, love you, touch you, or be trusted with your secrets, why are you still with me, MJ?”

“I do trust you.”

“No, you don’t!”

“I just need...time.”

“That’s all I’ve been giving you is time, MJ! You don’t need time! You don’t need space. You need to be honest with yourself and me. You don’t want this marriage anymore. I may not know all the reasons behind that, but I know that to be true.”

“You’re wrong,” I say softly but without conviction.

“Tell me,” Onyx says, walking back to me and tipping my chin up. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that our marriage is worth fighting for. Tell me that I’m worth fighting for.”

“Both you and this marriage are worth fighting for, Onyx.”

“But...”

“But we don’t want the same things. We both know this. All I want is a family. You’re content with letting my assault and my refusing to get counseling be the reason why now is not the time for us to do that.”

“You’re right, MJ. I don’t think we should have kids right now, and your assault isn’t the only reason.”

“Then what?” I challenge.

“Honestly...I don’t know if we’re going to make it. And I refuse to bring a child into a home where we’re not certain where we’ll be a year from now.”

“Let that be the reason tonight. There’s always an excuse, Onyx.”

“You should know,” he mutters sarcastically as he turns and leaves me standing in the kitchen alone.

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